Did you ever see the movies where the devil is on the person's left shoulder and the angel is on the right shoulder? And each one is telling the person what to say or do? Yeah, that's what I'm feeling at the moment.
Devil: (on left shoulder) "Go on, kick him in the nuts."
Angel: (on right shoulder) "That's underhanded and sneaky. Smack him in the face."
Devil: "But he might see it coming, and then duck."
Angel: "Then, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be."
Devil: "Fuck that. I say kick him in the nuts and let God worry about whether it was justified."
Angel: "But it's WRONG to just surprise someone and kick them right in the nuts."
Devil: "I thought God said "Judge not, lest ye be judged?" "
Angel: "Well, it WOULD feel good to kick that guy, right in the nuts."
Devil: "See? That's God telling you it's OKAY to kick someone in the nuts."
Angel: "Really? I don't remember reading about that in the Bible."
Devil: "Oh, it's in there. In Leviticus, I think. I think it goes "Woe be-ith unto him that tresspatheth upon the anger of a woman, for his stones shall be smitten during the driving of the foot, and there shall be much wailing."
Angel: "Really? It's almost like the Bible is COMMANDING me to kick this guy in the nuts."
Devil: "I bet you didn't realize I knew so much about the Bible, huh?"