Well, OP, assuming you've already succeeded in monetizing your online efforts -- whether on this project or others previously -- I'd suggest the following approach.
First and foremost, you must be upfront and honest about this project (and any future projects). Promise her you will discuss future projects with her, and include her in the process. She just might have positive ideas that help blow the lid off the money train.
Heck, since it is obviously your goal to generate cash and provide for the BOTH OF YOU, transparency is the best policy. If this were simply a way to scuttle away money into a secret bank account to create a nest egg she cannot access, that would be quite f'ed up -- all around. I'll assume this is not the case, based solely upon your feeling of shame/remorse for hurting her feelings, and your expressed understanding of the line you crossed by not be upfront and forthright (the 38th Parallel of a relationship, IMHO).
Then, I'd show her the payments received and/or earnings statements illustrating funds awaiting settlement from this (and any prior) project. This will provide some level of assurance that you DO know how to make cash using your methods. Translate those earnings into tangible things that they have helped to provide you BOTH. Regardless of the projects you work on to generate cash to pay the bills, she is a recipient of those actions. Whether she agrees with them or not, she didn't complain when the bills got paid last month. And she KNOWS where you go to bed.
Tell her honestly that if you desired to be with somebody else because you were unhappy in your current relationship, that you know life is too damned short for either of you to be unhappy, and that you love and respect her enough to be honest with her about that issue. Let her know that this is NOT the case, and couldn't be further from the truth. You are only doing this to provide for you both in an attempt to provide comfort, security, and financial peace of mind. Times are bad, and you do not trust the corporate machine to look out for her best interests.
I had a chat quite identical to this with my wife of nearly 6 years. While she doesn't at this point in time care to immerse herself in the projects I undertake, she is aware of all of them, and understands that she and our children together, are the reason I live, breath, and hustle, and that she has a say in how we accomplish our financial goals.
She knows, too, that limiting the methods I can undertake with her blessings also limits the things she can expect.
For example, if we live where my wife desires to be, but the economy is super-tough there, she knows that she is choosing that location in lieu of other, more success-oriented, locations, and that financial hardship is a distinct possibility.
She WILLINGLY ACCEPTS that if hardship does happen as a result of those geographic limitations, that she played a part in that, and agrees that she will NOT hold that over my head as the provider for our household.
In short, open communication is not only the greatest sign of love and respect, it is also the only way to keep a great relationship GREAT.
~ T
( which i hope it does! )
