Hey guys,
Finally I have some more time to tell you what has been going on lately. A long story coming up ahead - if you're not interested, and want to know only the info about uBC, read the last sentence.
On February 21st at 02:30 AM, my beloved grandfather has passed away after battling with liver cancer for about 6 months. He was 81.
We all knew about his cancer. I knew that it was a matter of months, and later weeks and days, before he passes and goes to a better place. I thought I was prepared to face it from the moment the doctors said that there's nothing really that they could do. I thought I was ready.
I was very wrong.
When my father broke the news to me, I naturally cried. The last time I cried was 15 years ago. However, later that day I felt relatively good - I went out with my friends, we laughed and all. After all, I knew this day would come soon and was prepared for it.
Some of you may be thinking that this is only a grandpa and that it has been expected - but the bond between us was something unique, something no one else had.
The next day, according to the tradition in my country, is when the funeral is. Grandpa lived in a small town about an hour away. The last time I saw him about a week before he passed he was okay, relatively speaking. Before the actual burial, the body of the deceased is in a casket in the room where he passed, where those who loved him come to light a candle. The casket was open.
And when I entered the room and saw him, that's when it struck me. Up until that moment, up until that last nanosecond I was hoping that once I enter his home he will greet me with his usual cheer and joy he experiences when he sees his grandson. Not this time. This time there was only sorrow, and the cold, motionless body of my grandpa in a casket. I had the urge to say "wake up, what's going on, come on let's go for a walk". I fell on my knees and lost it. I had no idea where I was, what was going on, etc.
A few hours later when we went to the cemetery to bury him, there was still an atom of hope... as we (the family) kneel by the deceased for the last time (my dad (his son) first and me after that) to say our final goodbyes, I thought to myself "come on grandpa, now is the time, now is when you wake up and tell them all that it was all just one of your usual sick jokes".
Nothing.
The moment when they lay the top of the casket upon his deceased body and put earth on top of it was what struck me the most. It was the hardest moment I had to endure in my entire life. He is gone. Last time I saw him he was picking on me for gaining a few kilos again. He was asking about my degree. He was even asking about "that computer stuff that you do". It struck me that I will never hear his voice again. When I visit his home he will no longer be there. How can this be? Where did he go? How can he be there one moment and be gone the next? When will he come back? What the hell is going on?
After I drove home I just sat in my chair and stared at one spot for hours. I had no will to do anything. I even contemplated posting on BHW saying that I am abandoning all work on uberBlogCreator. Glad I didn't do that.
Anyway, this is what has kept me "occupied". This, coupled with the fact that I moved to a different city 7 hours away in which I had no regular internet access, are the things that prevented me from working on uberBlogCreator. However, life goes on. We must learn to live with a loss and make room for it in our hearts. I will continue working on uberBlogCreator starting today. The infamous "testpassed" error will is my top priority, followed by the iffy WordPress registration. After I issue this fix, I will focus entirely on version 2.
Thank you all guys for understanding!
-Deusdies