Going to Thailand Need Advice

[Winchester]

If we read it carefully he has voluntarily been sending her $750 to help care for her, this is NOT his sinsot (which the parents are now asking for) and it's perfectly legit.

Let's be frank if the girl I loved lived in a country with poor living conditions I'd be sending a long what I could to help her out too - for all we know she is supporting those parents.

All in all yeah be wary if its a scam, but if you love her and she loves you and you've been voluntarily supporting her thats fine, and don't be afraid to pay the sinsot it's common in asian cultures, a very dear friend of mine from Vietnam went back there to marry a Viet girl; he couldn't afford the sinsot so he spent 6 months doing manual labor on their land instead.

If they start asking for more money, or you are expected to pay support once she comes to live with you then yeah ask questions, but I see nothing wrong here. It passes the sniff test in my eyes; and obviously make sure to visit when you are over there and make sure they don't have a ridiculous spending habit.

This all sounds fine to me, just always be alert, but don't screw up a good thing over conspiracy!

 

[csyhomme]

Just doesn't sounds so right, anything can go wrong there, anything..

 

[Roparadise]

I dont want to offend anyone,but why does it seem like the majority of guys that go to other countries like that seem to be getting a wife just to brag to their friends about.

 

[ying-yang]

I HAVE LIVED IN THAILAND 14 YRS..... i speak thai , i read thai , and i love thailand.

married 2 times ( 1 died , 1 divorce ) to thai girls and my only bit of advice is NEVER NEVER take her to ur country and NEVER NEVER send money to her family ..... reasons why...

1 ... giving family the money it will never end , she will ask u to pay for all her families problems.
example.... its ur fault, my dads in hospital, cos if u sent money to feed the buffalow it would not have kicked my mum and she would not have hit my dad for laughting.
2... the average farmer or shop assistant earns 5000 baht ($150) per month , why is it ur friends gf family need 6 times that lol umm. cos he is paying for uncle and dad to drink beer all night , whilst ur friend works his ass off to send the money.
3... take her to usa lol ummm why , she will only do the job she was in the usa doing initially, prostitution.
example... a guy i knew , wanted to go out his gf said no i no like go out bar not good, he thought wow nice girl, only when it was his b-day and he begged her to go did he go into his local and was asked how much he was paying to just drink with her, he asked what u mean, his gf had been sleeping with the whole bar for money , the guys in there thought this guy was paying her but was in fact his gf, hence , no i not go out i good lady lol

anything u want to ask about thailand i can tell u , THE LAST THING U WANT TO DO IS MARRY ONE OF THEM GIRLS , OR TAKE HER TO UR COUNTRY LOL

edited , "NOT ALL ARE THE SAME", as one thai girl pointed out, if u go to a bar and marry a bar girl , your marrying the wrong thai girl.....

 

[ardley216]

From my experience:
This guy is being robbed.

My girlfriends mother (Russian), found an English man, who paid for her university fees, came over to England married, and she found another (richer...) man within weeks, divorced, remarried. (My girlfriend is NOTHING like that!!)

Also, my girlfriends step father (the newly married one..) had a friend who married a Thai woman, he was old fat, she was about 20 something, and you could so just tell she just wanted money all day every day.. I think he really loved her... It was SO awkward to watch..

My advice is that money should NEVER be the centre of a relationship, REGARDLESS of culture.

 

[darkfury]

thats far too much of an expense, sex gets boring, money doesnt

 

[Roparadise]

From my experience:
This guy is being robbed.

My girlfriends mother (Russian), found an English man, who paid for her university fees, came over to England married, and she found another (richer...) man within weeks, divorced, remarried. (My girlfriend is NOTHING like that!!)

Also, my girlfriends step father (the newly married one..) had a friend who married a Thai woman, he was old fat, she was about 20 something, and you could so just tell she just wanted money all day every day.. I think he really loved her... It was SO awkward to watch..

My advice is that money should NEVER be the centre of a relationship, REGARDLESS of culture.

Your girlfriends mother is awesome, I need to do that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcUDqKsBgsk

 

[Razvan]

this is just a perfect example of the PUSSY power !
and your friend is stupid...

 

[ying-yang]

All funny but true .....

http://www.amuzingthaicartoons.com/

also look google " fool and his money , pattaya. "

 

[Jordanbehighhh]

aye man.. they made her so they wanna get their compensation haha

 

[Ricky Roma]

I would say he has already paid the dowry - in installments.
He should offer to pay symbolic sum ($100 or even less) for the dowry.
1. If they haggle - means they are greedy bastards = ditch the bitch;
2. If they dont ask for more - means they are aware how much your friend has already helped them and are grateful for that = then it is good.

 

[Oukast]

2. If they dont ask for more - means they are aware how much your friend has already helped them and are grateful for that = then it is good.

"Grateful" and "Thai girl/family" hardly can be fit in the same sentence.

 

[danielfrench]

Rules:
1. Never take a bar girl!
2. Never act like a rich guy
3. Never pay money, if you don't know for what that is for.

 

[weBay]

OK I'll add my opinions since I live in Thailand and married a Thai.

It seems everyone is assuming this girl is a bar girl as a lot of westerners end up getting involved with them. However in the OP's post he says he met her in the USA whilst she was on a working visa. Maybe I missed something but this girl is probably from a very well to do family. Its very hard for Thai's to get visas particularly for the USA. Its extremely unlikely that a bar girl prostitute type could get a visa to the USA.
My own wife was turned down for a visa and and she is from a very good family, went to a top university was visiting friends there etc.

Sin sot is a funny one that everyone gets worked up about. I 'paid" a million baht at my wedding but the parents gave it straight back - it was just for show and to keep up traditions. However i will probably give a couple hundred thousand to help with their retirement when I am more financially secure. I will be happy and proud to do it.

As for sending money to his girlfriend every month, why not? And $750 is not that much over here believe me. Yes some people exist on 5000 baht per month but its not much of a life. To live to a reasonable standard here a family needs around $1000 coming in per month.

 

[ying-yang]

OK I'll add my opinions since I live in Thailand and married a Thai.

It seems everyone is assuming this girl is a bar girl as a lot of westerners end up getting involved with them. However in the OP's post he says he met her in the USA whilst she was on a working visa. Maybe I missed something but this girl is probably from a very well to do family. Its very hard for Thai's to get visas particularly for the USA. Its extremely unlikely that a bar girl prostitute type could get a visa to the USA.
My own wife was turned down for a visa and and she is from a very good family, went to a top university was visiting friends there etc.

Sin sot is a funny one that everyone gets worked up about. I 'paid" a million baht at my wedding but the parents gave it straight back - it was just for show and to keep up traditions. However i will probably give a couple hundred thousand to help with their retirement when I am more financially secure. I will be happy and proud to do it.

As for sending money to his girlfriend every month, why not? And $750 is not that much over here believe me. Yes some people exist on 5000 baht per month but its not much of a life. To live to a reasonable standard here a family needs around $1000 coming in per month.

1.. i know many girls who pay agents , who then pay americans to marry or sponcer girls to usa, the girls family borrow off there houses , land , friends cos they know the girl will bring back a bigger prize.

2.. working visa.... what job ? who paid for the visa ? who sponcered her ? these are the things his friend should be asking.

3.. $750 a monht plssss show me one thai person who says 20,000b is not alot of money hahahah, project managers , office managers , IT consultants , head teachers , lecturers etc etc dont even earn this money in bkk , let alone in the rest of thailand.

4.. thais need $1000 a month lol. if u offered a farmer $200 a month he and his family will be very happy. i tried it in the farm lands , issan , for many yrs. and with my wife and her mother / daughter AND I , lived on $500 - $700 a month very comfily whilst i was starting out in IM , in fact if you divided the cost of the house her family and i built.

Over the 3 yrs i was there it would have been $1000 and that was a lovely 3 bed single storey house on her land( built for under $10,000.

seems you didnt learn about the real thais, u only learned about the small % who can say " $750 a month is nothing " ...

shame you live here in thailand , but you know nothing about thailand and its people.

 

[switch_2012]

Is it ok to assume that 'your friend is you?' - mate shes rinsing you, and most thai girls i met were in se.x trade and they dont care about anything else but money.

I know its hard for you believe that cz i think ur in love with this gal - but sooner or later you 'll come to your sense, good luck.

 

[hekasis]

Hi! I have been living in Thailand the last seven years. I know a lot of Thai women who are not just looking for money but you won't find them hanging out in bars they are often too busy working and earning money for their families.

There is nothing wrong with helping out you girlfriends family if they are really poor but it should never be an obligation to do so, and having a fixed price of $750 sounds more like he is renting her than actually having a relationship with her.

How will he ever know if she really loves him or it is just the money?

 

[Oukast]

How will he ever know if she really loves him or it is just the money?

Stop sending the money. If the bitch stays - he wins, he's found a good one. If the bitch leaves - he wins, more money for hookers and booze.

I'm not even going to start on "weBay"s post, since I completely agree with everything "ying-yang" wrote.

 

[imperial444]

It looks like she's got SCAM parents, beware of that.
She should be blacklisted.

 

[saucebox]

sounds like you or whoever this is needs to actually spend some time in thailand. after 4 years here i wonder why i keep coming back. really the best thing you can do here is just pick yourself up a girl once in awhile from the bar pay your 30 bucks get yourself off and send her packin. relationships with these girls can be a huge ass headache. if money even gets mentioned your better off cutting ties and running for the hills. the girl i am with now is the total opposite, she actual has her own money, and pays for everything for me. in fact she gets pissed off when i spend my money. but guess what i still dont trust her, because it could be reverse psychology for all i know. who knows i sure dont.

there are so many good lookin broads here i dont know why you would even want to settle down anyways. its like taking candy from a baby.

As for the price of living here, it all depends on what kind of lifestyle you can live. ive lived off 300 bucks a month to 1000 a month. If you want your western lifestyle its gonna cost you more then back in the states. If you can live like a thai, yup you can live off 3 or 4 or 500 a month easy.

Your average thai person makes about 150-200 a month. with a university graduate from 400 to 500. Please tell me why you are sending 750 bucks a month? 750 a month is still decent change in the states, pays for my rent. Why does a thai person who pays maybe 150 a month with electricity and water (and probably lives with someone else) need 750 bucks a month?

Someone needs a wake up call here before things turn into a disaster, and an expensive learning lesson.

Not all girls are like this but its better to be safe then sorry.