It is 2031 What Do The Headlines Say?

Seo's are going crazy! Google has been hacked as aliens kidnapped the CEO of Google.
 
AMC millionaire investors bought a new island and called it: Ape Island
 
"Elon musk dies crushed by a Tesla in autopilot"
 
"AI powered robot "Sergei" loses 7 million in Bitcoin at casino and starts a massive brawl."
 
I tried to do a 200IQ joke with Chinese letters, but it got auto-deleted...
 
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