paydette
Supreme Member
- Dec 12, 2018
- 1,313
- 1,909
Close your eyes and imagine... you've come home early from work. The house is quiet. You're looking forward to a nice evening, a good meal and a drink on the deck watching the sun slowly sink into the horizon. You've taken off your shoes and you're already thinking about the couch when you hear your wife scream, "WOOO! YES! I'M GOING TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU AND BIRTH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GOD-DAMN LANDING PAGE EVER CREATED!! WOOOO!!"
You run like Usain Bolt and discover your wife, the insane dolt, jumping around and unleashing air punch after air punch into the empty air.
"What in the absolute fuck are you doing?", you ask.
The seemingly crazy woman you married spins around surprised to see you there. She looks mortified and a bit confused. Her hair is a mess and she looks freaking guilty.
"And exactly WHO are you fucking the shit out of??", you ask...a bit disturbed that those words just left your lips.
"Uhm... my computer... I was talking to my computer", she replies, as if that made any sense.
5 seconds of silence turn into 10 seconds of silence....turns into 20 seconds of silence. You look around the room, there's an unopened bottle of wine. Your heart skips a beat... could she not be talking about the computer? You notice there is only one glass. And she legitimately looks a mess... she's still in her jogging clothes from the morning.
"Honey...", you say calmly as if talking to a psychopath with a knife, "can you tell me what's happening?"
She hands you what looks like a bottle of pills, adding to your confusion.
"I use smelling salts as a pick-me-up in the afternoon...and sometimes the morning too," she says.
10 more seconds of silence.
She continues, "When I need an extra kick in the ass to work, smelling salts give me hyper energy and focus. I was going to have a glass of wine instead but the wine makes me mentally glaze over and even though I can work like an automaton when glazed over, it isn't as enjoyable. So, I think the smelling salts are better."
So...there you go.... that's the conversation I had with my husband yesterday. My confession is that I love using smelling salts (maybe too much). I DON'T think it is such a big deal but apparently it may show i have an addictive personality.
So.... who else has a confession to make?
P.S. the landing page did end up looking awesome.
You run like Usain Bolt and discover your wife, the insane dolt, jumping around and unleashing air punch after air punch into the empty air.
"What in the absolute fuck are you doing?", you ask.
The seemingly crazy woman you married spins around surprised to see you there. She looks mortified and a bit confused. Her hair is a mess and she looks freaking guilty.
"And exactly WHO are you fucking the shit out of??", you ask...a bit disturbed that those words just left your lips.
"Uhm... my computer... I was talking to my computer", she replies, as if that made any sense.
5 seconds of silence turn into 10 seconds of silence....turns into 20 seconds of silence. You look around the room, there's an unopened bottle of wine. Your heart skips a beat... could she not be talking about the computer? You notice there is only one glass. And she legitimately looks a mess... she's still in her jogging clothes from the morning.
"Honey...", you say calmly as if talking to a psychopath with a knife, "can you tell me what's happening?"
She hands you what looks like a bottle of pills, adding to your confusion.
"I use smelling salts as a pick-me-up in the afternoon...and sometimes the morning too," she says.
10 more seconds of silence.
She continues, "When I need an extra kick in the ass to work, smelling salts give me hyper energy and focus. I was going to have a glass of wine instead but the wine makes me mentally glaze over and even though I can work like an automaton when glazed over, it isn't as enjoyable. So, I think the smelling salts are better."
So...there you go.... that's the conversation I had with my husband yesterday. My confession is that I love using smelling salts (maybe too much). I DON'T think it is such a big deal but apparently it may show i have an addictive personality.
So.... who else has a confession to make?
P.S. the landing page did end up looking awesome.
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