Somebody Rape My Product

[Jackalakus]

I'm not trying to self promote. I need someone who has an eye to critisize my LP h##p://beatkidneystones#com

Chop it up
Slam it
Whatever...

I need improvements.

I am consistantly selling but if there are improvements that need to be made I am open like the glory hole...

Thanks guys!

 

[catapult copy]

Nice to see a decent salesletter...
What you need to do is split test, try some of these..

Good Product graphic
background colors
order button (try bigger table) and try different colors for border. (try solid vesus dashed)
more space around bullets (insert in table)
Most importantly "test price" and know the numbers...
Work on call to action as it is a little weak - I would test this by pulling down your apples to oranges comparison below guarantee...and finish off by saying something like "now here's what I want you to do...

As you know testing is a slow process but well worth it. If I can take a salesletter that coverts at 0.61% and just by testing get it to 7.2% so can you!

 

[Jackalakus]

Thanks for the heads up.. I did an A/B test and decided to roll with the one displayed. I htink I may have to make up another one

I agree on the call to action.

 

[swinter84]

Typo right after The Lurking Danger...

"Your kidneys clean your blood. The(y) filter out waste water,"

 

[Jackalakus]

Typo right after The Lurking Danger...

"Your kidneys clean your blood. The(y) filter out waste water,"

Awesome Thanks!

 

[nanavlad]

Lol I like the sales Pitch so much. I nearly bouht the book.
well done

 

[ForDummies]

Found a spelling mistake, it should read "waiting for the stone to pass on its own" (no apostrophe in its).


Also, does this actually work?

 

[yamahafzr]

math fail-
Everyone that buys before will receive $20 off the regular price - that means you can get the full guide for a recession defying $17!

otherwise banging lp