Girl Advice

[Frenzied]

I have never had any role model, guidance, no older brother who I can speak to, nothing, so I generally over the years just spewed out whatever was on my mind on forums, suppose it helps.

I'm 18 for more context, and the girl talked about is 21. I've also never had a girlfriend.

Don't know where to start, but I met this girl at a club the other night. Now I know what you're thinking... stay away. Well that was my thought too. However, when we went back to my house, and after the deed () was done, we stayed up all night and chatted. We had so much in common, she's so sweet, amazing personality, and literally the exact same as me. To be fair, we were very drunk...

Which is why I agreed to meeting up with her another day to see how things would go.

We had a few beers and watched "Bird box" on the sofa. We went back to bed and just chatted all night long again. It was drier than last time, but I suppose it was because we were less drunk than last time, and just met each other recently too ... However, she is still very likable and exactly how I remembered her.

She then asked me if I want to make plans on the weekend yesterday via text.

And since then I haven't replied. I feel really uneasy - I mean, I'm 18, I still want to live, go out with my friends, and have fun. I don't want to be tied to no one... BUT, on the other side, she is exactly like me and wants to get to know me more. I suppose for anyone reading this, I haven't provided enough context, but at the same time I don't want to bore anyone.

Has anyone been a similar situation? It's been 16+ hours since I've replied and I've been thinking non stop about it. I don't know what to do.

 

[SpawneR]

Let me tell you something, I've just turned 20 and I've had 2 relationships ( first one was 2 and a half years and now I'm with my current girl for over 7 months), it has A LOT of shitty sides, but want me to tell you something? Going out with friends & drinking will stay there, if you found the one that you think is cool, RUN FOREST RUN!

In the middle of those 2 relationships of mine (past summer) I was single for about 3-4 months, was going out every fucking day, fucked couple of one-night stands, doing drugs, got drunk etc... Pretty much usual Teen thing right? But guess what, I wasn't happy at all, all those hoes, money, drugs, "friends", it's all short-term. I figured it out that I'm happiest when I'm in a relationship and that's why I'm in one.

Of course, those 3-4 months were something I really needed after 2 and a half years in a relationship, you need some rest from the woman brain (trust me).

So the point is, go and try it, friends and going out will wait (for sure), try something new, girl can calm you down (in my case without those 2 relationships I really don't know where would I be).

And remember just one thing, THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, don't even try to argue, you will go nutzzz.

 

[Frenzied]

Let me tell you something, I've just turned 20 and I've had 2 relationships ( first one was 2 and a half years and now I'm with my current girl for over 7 months), it has A LOT of shitty sides, but want me to tell you something? Going out with friends & drinking will stay there, if you found the one that you think is cool, RUN FOREST RUN!

In the middle of those 2 relationships of mine (past summer) I was single for about 3-4 months, was going out every fucking day, fucked couple of one-night stands, doing drugs, got drunk etc... Pretty much usual Teen thing right? But guess what, I wasn't happy at all, all those hoes, money, drugs, "friends", it's all short-term. I figured it out that I'm happiest when I'm in a relationship and that's why I'm in one.

Of course, those 3-4 months were something I really needed after 2 and a half years in a relationship, you need some rest from the woman brain (trust me).

So the point is, go and try it, friends and going out will wait (for sure), try something new, girl can calm you down (in my case without those 2 relationships I really don't know where would I be).

And remember just one thing, THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, don't even try to argue, you will go nutzzz.

Thanks a lot.

My main worry is that I know for a fact that it is BAD to rely on an external thing for your source of happiness. Materialistic things that can disappear anytime. Cars, watches, relationships, right?

Correct me if I'm wrong. I just feel like I would go insane if I ever loved someone and then lost them, which is my main worry of relationships.

 

[MisterF]

She met you in a club, you were both screwing a couple of hours later - That's cool for a bit of fun.

Is she someone who does this every night she goes clubbing ? - Ask yourself that. Are you someone who will start doing that too?

You seriously are too young to consider settling down, life is too short so go out and have fun. Enjoy the rest of your teens as a single person, maybe have a handful of friends with benefits.

 

[Frenzied]

Is she someone who does this every night she goes clubbing ? - Ask yourself that. Are you someone who will start doing that too?

When we met up 2 days ago I found out that she's not that type of girl.

She doesn't do hookups, and she doesn't like clubbing too much, just was peer pressured for once by her friends to go to the club.

You seriously are too young to consider settling down, life is too short so go out and have fun. Enjoy the rest of your teens as a single person, maybe have a handful of friends with benefits.

See, you're telling me NOT to settle down, but the post above is telling me to do it. There is so much conflict in my mind. Who's advice am I supposed to follow?

 

[MisterF]

When we met up 2 days ago I found out that she's not that type of girl.

She doesn't do hookups, and she doesn't like clubbing too much, just was peer pressured for once by her friends to go to the club.



See, you're telling me NOT to settle down, but the post above is telling me to do it. There is so much conflict in my mind. Who's advice am I supposed to follow?

I was in the military at your age and we used to go out and party hard on weekends off, life was for living and all the guys under 22/23 were all young, free and single. So at your age, if I could go back to that age I'd be single again.

Have fun now before you end up married, with kids.....

 

[SpawneR]

@MisterF Guess I fucked up lol... S.O.S.

No let's be real, if you feel happy going out, go out, if you feel happy being in relationship (like me), be in one. Just do what makes you happy.

 

[BHSEONewb]

Sounds like what I'm looking for, a girl cool enough to hang with and who has a lot in common with me. You and her will likely mature and change somewhat in the next several years. I wouldn't rush to get married, but I'd hang on to her. Date her and see where it goes. It may go nowhere, it may go somewhere. Only time will tell.

 

[swik]

When you said that you will go insane if you loved someone and then lost them, i did .. At your age my girlfriend was 28 and i fucked up because like MisterF said .. I was too young to consider settling down...

 

[MisterF]

@MisterF Guess I fucked up lol... S.O.S.

No let's be real, if you feel happy going out, go out, if you feel happy being in relationship (like me), be in one. Just do what makes you happy.

Not at all mate, everyone is different and it depends on peoples situations and how mature they are as individuals. Some are mature enough to realise that relationships do fail, others are heartbroken, want to commit suicide, think the world has ended for them because their gf/bf of 3 months has walked out.

 

[Frenzied]

I was in the military at your age and we used to go out and party hard on weekends off, life was for living and all the guys under 22/23 were all young, free and single. So at your age, if I could go back to that age I'd be single again.

Have fun now before you end up married, with kids.....

When you said that you will go insane if you loved someone and then lost them, i did .. At your age my girlfriend was 28 and i fucked up because like MisterF said .. I was too young to consider settling down...

https://i.imgur.com/AqeCzqt.jpg

That's been occupying my mind for 12+ hours now. Feel much better now, thanks boys.

 

[bmanfacts]

Just like being on this forum to pursue IM (in some regard), the same goes for getting yourself in relationships.

There's little difference when you take out the nuances.

At the end of the day its about what you want and what all these experiences can do for you.

You make money to do something with it.
You enter a relationship to do something with it.

If you are unsure, heed against it. The only contrary to the above similarities.

Committing to someone else not on the same page as you is more risky than any venture you can pursue for money.

With that said, if you are capable of having a friends with benefits situation, enjoy yourself.

But know what YOU want & know if she is capable of contributing to that.

Consider that relationship an investment, only with more unknowns because it deals with another person who can fuck you literally, financially, & energetically towards what you're working towards.

 

[Jointer]

If you found the one, don't lose her. I really doubt that though. Even if that was her first time going out, getting drunk and fuck a guy 2 hours later is not a girl I would want to raise my kids or even be in a relationship with.

 

[leit]

My advice? Relax, if you want to establish something with that girl, do it, be with her does not mean you should marry or live the rest of your life with that person, relationships have their pros and cons, I've learned a lot from each relationship, it's just a girl, do not drown in a glass of water.

 

[swik]

https://i.imgur.com/AqeCzqt.jpg

That's been occupying my mind for 12+ hours now. Feel much better now, thanks boys.

Now that it solve, You pay the beer tonight !! lol

 

[MelMajik]

Just be honest with her about you intentions. Taking it slow and building a FRIENDSHIP is the most important piece. If you don't have a genuine friendship as a foundation to your "relationship" you'll be in for future hardship. Tell her that you want to let things define itself. And let it. And be honest that at this time, you're not looking to be tied down or to tie her down. Women can respect honesty. I mean, they have no choice when you set your own boundaries. If she is cool with moving forward under those circumstances, then there is a clear understanding, and she wont feel mislead. If she is not, then she can make the decision to back off for her self in light of your honesty.

Now, YOU also have to accept that she is free to do what she likes. If you can do all of this this, you guys can keep an uncomplicated, pleasant friendship that can be maintained regardless of what you guys decide to do in the future.

 

[ExperimentalSEO]

If you found the one, don't lose her. I really doubt that though. Even if that was her first time going out, getting drunk and fuck a guy 2 hours later is not a girl I would want to raise my kids or even be in a relationship with.

So a man that goes out and drinks and has sex with a woman he just met can be a good parent, but the woman he has sex with is going to be a bad parent?

 

[Titanitex]

There are no unicorns.

She is not special, and you will always be able to find someone "like" her.

You're only 18 if you want to live and party with your friends? Do that!

The reason she is making plans etc is that she doesn't want to feel like a slut since you guys banged right away without "the chase".

You already have doubts, And I might be late to the party but just let her know that you are not "ready" or interested right now rather than ghosting.

 

[Frenzied]

There are no unicorns.

She is not special, and you will always be able to find someone "like" her.

You're only 18 if you want to live and party with your friends? Do that!

The reason she is making plans etc is that she doesn't want to feel like a slut since you guys banged right away without "the chase".

You already have doubts, And I might be late to the party but just let her know that you are not "ready" or interested right now rather than ghosting.

Already done, thanks a lot for the reassurance. Hopefully I don’t regret this decision

 

[Titanitex]

Already done, thanks a lot for the reassurance. Hopefully, I don’t regret this decision

Good to hear, I saw it after I posted as well. Nicely done.

If you are actively meeting new girls, you will forget her and this situation in an instant.

Don't get obsessed with a girl, cus that is only going to lead you into some stupid illusion.

Abundance mindset, my young brother.

There is always another fish in the pond