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Deleted member 855230
Guest
We have all heard a bunch of shit about EMD and PMD and all the bull shit blah blah blah.
Why the fuck do we go to kayak.com for hotels and airfare checks then??? Doesn't make any fucking sense.
Or does it...?
If we were still hanging out a few years ago...
Maybe that url would be something special?
"hotelscarspackagescruisesrestaurantsexplore.com"
Seems to have a great ring to it.
Then again I'm still being an asshole.
Just like the airline company KAYAK!!!
Anway, I'll get to the point.
If you're starting a new project, you're probably at a loss on how to brand.
Well this is fuckin perfect.
Because you're not starting with expectations.
Ready for the complicated formula?
Adjective + Noun
Okay report back with what you do!
Just kidding.
Or am I?
Maybe you need context.
Let's work backwards.
Maybe a mascot?
How about an animal?
Something suitable for your niche.
I'll assume everyone's trying to play in the SEO agency game.
Let's do an Owl. They're wise, and sometimes even cute.
I lied. I wanted to do a rat.
Because you can tie all kinds of shit to a rat.
What kind of animal is in a RAT race?
Okay good.
So now that we have our Rat, we need an Adjective.
In this case, I'm going to force a Noun INTO an Adjective.
This isn't just a rat, it's a fuckin' lab rat.
But let's use another noun instead of lab.
How about a Serp Rat.
Hi, I'm Lenny the Serp Rat and I used to run in a wheel in a tiny cage for scraps of cheese and I hated it, until I learned how to improve the google rank of my webcam site. Now the lab has funding for all kinds of cheese because I have a TON of viewers at the top position for "how to get ahead in today's rat race."
I'm kidding, that's a cheesy example.
Here's a few more combos that you can use.
Noun+Noun
Service+Noun
SEOMissile.com - Blasting your site to the first page
ORMkitty.com - Thanks to our efforts, even shitheads look cute and cuddly on review sites.
Adjective + Noun + Noun
Color + Animal + Service
BluePenguinSEO.com
GreenSerpSolutions.com
Now, you're probably wondering:
"Why the fuck would you do something like that?"
Because now your site has a fucking mascot.
Green Serp Solutions, Keeping your site and your wallet in the green!
Okay, so now I gotta explain how to make a green serp a mascot...
Hmm, pretty easy, I'd say.
"We climb the serps like this stickman riding the dick."
Well, that's a strange slogan, and a really fucking weird image.
I had to include it.
But seriously, there are a ton of images when you look for "green arrow chart."
Fiverr illustrators can also see these, and put some eyeballs and a smiley face on a fatter arrow to make them look like an actual arrow. Or you can have a person next to it like this same weirdo.
GreenSerps, Where Your Success, is Our Testimonial!
Give us a call on the Green Phone Today!
(another weird image combo)
So, why do you need a mascot?
Instead of just having boring shit on your site,
you can have success stories of your mascot kicking ass and ranking!
A rule of thumb, make them quite abstract from each other.
A blue penguin might not be wacky enough.
Maybe try something like "SilverPenguinSEO.com"
URL? Check
Brandable Name? Check
Mascot? Check
Easy to remember? Check
If you liked this post, come give the Sensual Tyrannosaurus a handjob.
I can't reach, or I'd do it myself.
Why the fuck do we go to kayak.com for hotels and airfare checks then??? Doesn't make any fucking sense.
Or does it...?
If we were still hanging out a few years ago...
Maybe that url would be something special?
"hotelscarspackagescruisesrestaurantsexplore.com"
Seems to have a great ring to it.
Then again I'm still being an asshole.
Just like the airline company KAYAK!!!
Anway, I'll get to the point.
If you're starting a new project, you're probably at a loss on how to brand.
Well this is fuckin perfect.
Because you're not starting with expectations.
Ready for the complicated formula?
Adjective + Noun
Okay report back with what you do!
Just kidding.
Or am I?
Maybe you need context.
Let's work backwards.
Maybe a mascot?
How about an animal?
Something suitable for your niche.
I'll assume everyone's trying to play in the SEO agency game.
Let's do an Owl. They're wise, and sometimes even cute.
I lied. I wanted to do a rat.
Because you can tie all kinds of shit to a rat.
What kind of animal is in a RAT race?
Okay good.
So now that we have our Rat, we need an Adjective.
In this case, I'm going to force a Noun INTO an Adjective.
This isn't just a rat, it's a fuckin' lab rat.
But let's use another noun instead of lab.
How about a Serp Rat.
Hi, I'm Lenny the Serp Rat and I used to run in a wheel in a tiny cage for scraps of cheese and I hated it, until I learned how to improve the google rank of my webcam site. Now the lab has funding for all kinds of cheese because I have a TON of viewers at the top position for "how to get ahead in today's rat race."
I'm kidding, that's a cheesy example.
Here's a few more combos that you can use.
Noun+Noun
Service+Noun
SEOMissile.com - Blasting your site to the first page
ORMkitty.com - Thanks to our efforts, even shitheads look cute and cuddly on review sites.
Adjective + Noun + Noun
Color + Animal + Service
BluePenguinSEO.com
GreenSerpSolutions.com
Now, you're probably wondering:
"Why the fuck would you do something like that?"
Because now your site has a fucking mascot.
Green Serp Solutions, Keeping your site and your wallet in the green!
Okay, so now I gotta explain how to make a green serp a mascot...
Hmm, pretty easy, I'd say.
"We climb the serps like this stickman riding the dick."
Well, that's a strange slogan, and a really fucking weird image.
I had to include it.
But seriously, there are a ton of images when you look for "green arrow chart."
Fiverr illustrators can also see these, and put some eyeballs and a smiley face on a fatter arrow to make them look like an actual arrow. Or you can have a person next to it like this same weirdo.
GreenSerps, Where Your Success, is Our Testimonial!
Give us a call on the Green Phone Today!
(another weird image combo)
So, why do you need a mascot?
Instead of just having boring shit on your site,
you can have success stories of your mascot kicking ass and ranking!
A rule of thumb, make them quite abstract from each other.
A blue penguin might not be wacky enough.
Maybe try something like "SilverPenguinSEO.com"
URL? Check
Brandable Name? Check
Mascot? Check
Easy to remember? Check
If you liked this post, come give the Sensual Tyrannosaurus a handjob.
I can't reach, or I'd do it myself.
Last edited by a moderator:
