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With all the men in here someone should be able to translate this for me, right?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Orangecat, Aug 29, 2009.

  1. Orangecat

    Orangecat Registered Member

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    I figured this would be the perfect place to ask this question since it's full of guys and you all seem like the straight forward type. I need advice of the relationship kind. Someone translate guy-speak for me?

    I new this guy a while ago. he was involved though so while we flirted nothing ever happened.

    Fast forward to recently and i run into him by accident. Totally out of the blue after a lot of time has passed.

    Anyway, we go out a couple times and end up spending the night together.

    Here's the thing. He lives far away. I know this and yet I still slept with him. He now wants me to drive out to his new place and see him and spend the night.

    I honestly thought Id be fine with it if I never heard from him again after we slept together, but now I find that I actually like having him around. I enjoy his company and I cannot tell if he just wants me to be his booty call or if he thinks there could be more to it.

    I could be ok with us being casual for a while, but I would not want it long term. Id want more eventually and I don't know if he will. I cannot tell and I don't want to set myself up to get hurt.

    We we are together we talk and get along great. But this whole thing about me driving out there to see him just screams booty call to me and I don't want to put myself into that trap. I don't do FWB type relationships.

    So guys....knowing what you do about being male, what vibe do you get from this? If I drive out there will I put myself solely into the "booty call" category and never be able to get out? Is a man that behaves this way toward a woman even though he lives so far away a dead give away that it's just a booty call?

    In short, I don't speak guy and I need someone to translate the signals he's giving out. Pretty please, help a girl out? My girlfriends are great, but they don't speak guy either unfortunately.

    I want to see him again, but I just cannot be sure it wouldn't be a bad choice on my part.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2009
  2. w84it

    w84it Regular Member

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    I couldn't find the index of your book so I decided to skip, sorry.
     
  3. lonny41

    lonny41 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I think you know the answer to your question. You're just hoping someone will give you the one you want to hear.

    Your instincts are correct, why don't you trust them?





     
  4. Orangecat

    Orangecat Registered Member

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    Dude, it's not that long. I even cut it up into little paragraphs so it's easily read.
     
  5. Slasher

    Slasher Junior Member

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    HAHA.

    He says he wants to spend the night with you, he wants sex of course.

    Do one of two things:

    1. Go over there, hang out, see if you spend the night... and if you do, don't have sex.

    2. Don't do it and say you are busy or have him visit you instead.

    If he gets upset that you won't have sex, and later he like never calls you, then he is using you for FWB.

    If he doesn't want to visit you, and doesn't give a valid reason - no commitment.
     
  6. Orangecat

    Orangecat Registered Member

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    He can't visit me. I have family staying with me for a while and it would just be weird.
    Because I want to be wrong. Because I'm hoping someone will say it was fate that we met again and that he didn't plan it all and that it could work out just fine.

    Because I'm a girl and we want to believe stupid shit like that.
     
  7. lonny41

    lonny41 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Believe what you want to believe. Don't ask others to validate it, that means you don't believe it.

    Make a decision to believe what you want, then forget others and their opinions.....you'll go far.....trust me.
     
  8. overl00rd

    overl00rd Junior Member

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    Not in your wettest dream...
    I'm a regular guy and I love girls who want to believe stupid shit like that. I mean, c'mon, you're only close to this guy for what, couple of weeks? Those couple of weeks are definitely full of bells and whistles. You startin' to see real stuff when you spend more time with him and gettin' steady.

    So I'd say, play a bit of hard to get should do you fine. You'll see if he is the Mr Right if he keeps on climbing.

    From where I am, I get pretty tired if girls get easy on me, cuz I luv more challenge in a hot pursuit. I once had a gf which I always run into where I had a break-up. But when things start to picking up, I went to another. (Yeah, I was that a$$shole, maybe still is).

    Trust me, guys appreciate what they have more if it takes good amount of challenges to lift a trophy.

    So, don't come to him, make him come to you. By then you'll see how it goes from there. This is a guy talk who use more logical part of the brain rather than emotional.

    But then again, this is about *cough* love *cough*. Women tends more to be emotional, especially in this department.

    So if you want to hear a guy's talk in this, I already told you what to do.
     
  9. ukescuba

    ukescuba Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    if you talk do you actually communicate or do just joke around?

    go over there spend the night but don't have sex see how he reacts - if hes into you he should be cool about it...

    if you really want to slow things down be honest with him - if hes really into you he will make the effort to respect you and chase you... otherwise if you where just a booty call he'll probably just move on...

    i also think if you where just his booty call you would do less "talking", "hanging out", "be affectionate in public"...

    how long ago did he break up?

    FYI LDR are hard work!

    hth
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2009
  10. orangeblossoms

    orangeblossoms Regular Member

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    Guy translation = I want more sex with you...how can I keep having more sex with you while not having to actually make any real commitment that comes with being a bf? Oh, and I'd also like to get the perks of having a gf - all that hanging out, hand holding affectionate stuff - without, yeah, no commitment.

    Okay I made it up and I'm not a guy, but that's how I read it.

    Your time is valuable, make sure he knows that. He should be making the effort. Driving an hour away to spend the night? WTF! Go make some money instead :p and spend it on a nice spa session.
     
  11. CoolAsh

    CoolAsh Registered Member

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    I second Overl00rd's advice ....play hard to get...if u wanna go, do go, but don't make out...if he still comes for you then there's something in it...else you know the obvious...
     
  12. Orangecat

    Orangecat Registered Member

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    We actually talk.
    Not long before he randomly ran into me.

    The thing is, I don't know if I'm just jumping to conclusions. Maybe he does have honorable intentions and it's just too early to tell?
    I know and I agree. But like I said, he can't come here because of my family, so what other option is there?

    This is good advice.

    You don't think it's too soon to be having that kind of talk? It seems soon to me, but I fully realize I could be wrong about that, I'm terrible about judging situations, as evidence by this here situation.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2009
  13. Millygirl

    Millygirl Regular Member

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    I am sorry if this sound a bit harsh. Don't mean to come off as such. But here goes......

    I just read that all and a small part of me is rather pissed. You cannot be seriously asking for a translation here.

    Your post sounds as if it was written by a star struck high school girl about the school's hottie. I was just waiting to read "Do you think he'll like me instead of the head cheerleader? Am I pretty enough for him?"

    As a woman, I will tell you: Guys are not that difficult to figure out.

    I guess it might be the complexity of a woman's emotion that makes her read too much into men and certain situations.

    I agree. You do know the answer to your question however if you need to validate it, don't come on line and post in a forum.

    Go to your man, sit him down and have a conversation. Listen to his answers, study his body language and come to your own conclusion. Simple isn't it?
     
  14. Orangecat

    Orangecat Registered Member

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    You are right. I'm glad you were harsh because apparently I need it. I am an emotional sort and I think with that part of me instead of the logical side on many occasions. Not good.

    Thank you, sometimes we all need a cyber smack to knock some sense into us and stop being ridiculous
     
  15. Asterixpro

    Asterixpro Junior Member

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    Hey Orangecat,

    Everything has to do with context. When you go to his place, do you guys do anything else besides sexing each other? Does he take you to public places?
    or have you met any of his friends?

    If the answer to all of those questions is no, then you are definitely a booty call.

    Also does he comes to your place if you ask? check out his tone when you ask him and this will give you exactly the answer you want.

    It is pretty difficult to assess a situation like this one without more information but these ones are great rules of thumb you can use to get an idea.

    I hope you are able to solve this conundrum and make more money ;)