1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why you need to STFU about your goals

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Capo Dei Capi, Apr 29, 2015.

  1. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    754
    Likes Received:
    1,732
    I saw it on a true fact post on some site like imgur last night so I decided to check it out to see if it was legit or not.

    http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself/transcript?language=en

    http://lifehacker.com/5921478/shhh-keeping-quiet-may-help-you-achieve-your-goals

    I used to talk off about all the kind of goals I did and it did feel satisfying thinking about them when I was talking about it. I just never knew that talking about them led to me not having motivation to actually doing it.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 9
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2015
  2. Bot Solutions

    Bot Solutions Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    219
    Likes Received:
    362
    Occupation:
    Bot maker
    Location:
    Hungary
    Home Page:
    Well i don't have friends, so i got that going for me which is nice.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 8
  3. jcash12

    jcash12 Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2009
    Messages:
    201
    Likes Received:
    81
    Occupation:
    duh! internet marketing
    Location:
    United states
    I agree with op. Goals are essential but personal. I set goals for my sales crew but I only review them 1 on 1 (I'm in charge of 4 mobile phone stores). Goals have definately got me where I am though. I started two years ago as an underpaid commissioned DTV salesmen, but made it my goal to use the experience to further my self. Fast forward, two years later with a job hop, and a couple promotions, I'm on the fast track to becoming a district manager making 100+k a year. Never shared these goals tho, was a personal motivator. I also used this method when I was in the prime of my first I'M venture thay was netting me 1 to 2k a week. Just my two cents on it.
     
  4. akany

    akany Registered Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    394
    Occupation:
    Webmaster
    Location:
    WWW
    I think it's different for each person. For me it's a motivation to work harder if I tell my friends about my plans, because I do not want them to see me failing.
     
  5. uncguy4321

    uncguy4321 Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2011
    Messages:
    340
    Likes Received:
    120
    Occupation:
    Part time contractor and consultant...but full tim
    Location:
    Parts unknown (eastern US)
    lol @ "why you need to STFU about your goals" ... awesome. I assume dit was going to be a "nobody cares about your goals" angle
     
  6. asap1

    asap1 BANNED BANNED Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2013
    Messages:
    4,961
    Likes Received:
    3,179
    Telling people im going to do bla bla or im going to have bla bla bla makes me keep going.

    I tell my mom im going to get her a benz soon, she doesn't believe me. Just wait and see :)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  7. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    754
    Likes Received:
    1,732
    Cause STFU seems like a better title.
     
  8. BreaknBrix

    BreaknBrix Power Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2014
    Messages:
    756
    Likes Received:
    4,333
    Location:
    NE US
    Yep, the book "Getting Things Done" talks about this all throughout the book. This is just a short excerpt on getting shit done...

    I try to make intuitive choices based on my
    options, instead of trying to think about what those
    options are. I need to have thought about all of that
    already and captured the results in a trusted way. I
    don't want to waste time thinking about things more
    than once. That's an inefficient use of creative energy
    and a source of frustration and stress.


    And you can't fudge this thinking. Your mind will keep
    working on anything that's still in that undecided state.
    But there's a limit to how much unresolved "stuff" it can
    contain before it blows a fuse.

    The short-term memory part of your mind - the part that
    tends to hold all of the incomplete, undecided, and unorganized
    "stuff"—functions much like RAM on a personal computer. Your
    conscious mind, like the computer screen, is a focusing tool, not a
    storage place. You can think about only two or three things at once.


    But the incomplete items are still being stored in the short-term
    memory space. And as with RAM, there's limited capacity; there's
    only so much "stuff" you can store in there and still have that part of
    your brain function at a high level. Most people walk around with
    their RAM bursting at the seams. They're constantly distracted,
    their focus disturbed by their own internal mental overload.

    For example, in the last few minutes, has your mind wandered
    off into some area that doesn't have anything to do with
    what you're reading here? Probably. And most likely where your
    mind went was to some open loop, some incomplete situation
    that you have some investment in. All that situation did was rear
    up out of the RAM part of your brain and yell at you, internally.
    And what did you do about it? Unless you wrote it down and put
    it in a trusted "bucket" that you know you'll review appropriately
    sometime soon, more than likely you worried about it. Not the
    most effective behavior: no progress was made, and
    tension was increased.

    The big problem is that your mind keeps
    reminding you of things when you can't do anything
    about them. It has no sense of past or future. That
    means that as soon as you tell yourself that you need
    to do something, and store it in your RAM, there's a
    part of you that thinks you should be doing that something all the
    time. Everything you've told yourself you ought to do, it thinks
    you should be doing right now. Frankly, as soon as you have two
    things to do stored in your RAM, you've generated personal
    failure, because you can't do them both at the same time. This
    produces an all-pervasive stress factor whose source can't
    be pinpointed.

    Most people have been in some version of this mental stress
    state so consistently, for so long, that they don't even know they're
    in it. Like gravity, it's ever-present—so much so that those who
    experience it usually aren't even aware of the pressure. The only
    time most of them will realize how much tension they've been
    under is when they get rid of it and notice how different they feel.




    Then he goes on to describe "The Core Process" in detail describing in detail how he gets shit done.


    THE CORE PROCESS I teach for mastering the art of relaxed and controlled
    knowledge work is a five-stage method for managing
    workflow. No matter what the setting, there are five discrete
    stages that we go through as we deal with our work. We (1) collect
    things that command our attention; (2) process what they mean
    and what to do about them; and (3) organize the results, which we
    (4) review as options for what we choose to (5) do.


    This constitutes the management of the "horizontal"
    aspect of our lives—incorporating everything that
    has our attention at any time.


    The method is straightforward enough in principle,
    and it is generally how we all go about our work in
    any case, but in my experience most people can stand
    significantly to improve their handling of each one of
    the five stages. The quality of our workflow management
    is only as good as the weakest link in this fivephase
    chain, so all the links must be integrated
    together and supported with consistent standards.


    Most people have major leaks in their collection process.
    Many have collected things but haven't processed or decided
    what action to take about them. Others make good decisions
    about "stuff" in the moment but lose the value of that thinking
    because they don't efficiently organize the results. Still others
    have good systems but don't review them consistently enough
    to keep them functional.

    I can't post the whole book but I've recommended it multiple times before and highly suggest people read it: Getting Things Done
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 5
    Last edited: Apr 29, 2015
  9. cmghoops32

    cmghoops32 Registered Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2011
    Messages:
    89
    Likes Received:
    56
    Great Post OP
    Usually people that like to talk about their goals are action fakers. I know because I used to be one myself.
    The best way to go about goals is to STFU and get to work.
     
  10. uncguy4321

    uncguy4321 Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2011
    Messages:
    340
    Likes Received:
    120
    Occupation:
    Part time contractor and consultant...but full tim
    Location:
    Parts unknown (eastern US)
    STK...I'm curious what your name means. I could take a stab but it would probably rub people the wrong way.
     
  11. tony_d

    tony_d Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2013
    Messages:
    2,582
    Likes Received:
    3,171
    Location:
    1600 Amphitheatre Parkway, Mountain View CA
    I would tend to agree.

    I have always held the view that 'people who make threats are not the ones you need to worry about - it's the silent ones that will actually do shit'.

    Similarly, along those lines, it seems logical that people who talk in general mightn't be likely to do as much as someone who keeps quiet and presses forward.
     
  12. Tunenchi

    Tunenchi Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2011
    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    84
    Occupation:
    SEO
    Location:
    BHW
    Great Post, I totally agree with OP
     
  13. srb888

    srb888 Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2008
    Messages:
    3,267
    Likes Received:
    5,081
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    WebzSurfer
    Location:
    Sun, Mon, Tue, WTF, Sat!!! :)
    Some nice and true words in this thread... My elder brother never told anyone anything anytime about his plans, and he was able to bring them to reality! I always told my plans to my mom, before my marriage, then to my wife and my mom, and most of my plans became too difficult to achieve. I believe that you build your plan through your energy (call it your soul power if you wish to), and when you tell others about those plans, the energy loses its power to focus on its job of building to completion.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  14. timothywcrane

    timothywcrane Power Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2009
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    237
    Occupation:
    Internet Promotion Management
    Location:
    USA
    Home Page:
    Nice and dandy as long as you have no business suppliers, investors, partners, or cash (labor or collaboration) influxes. Might put a little damper on married life as well. I think there is credence to it for those that "just tell" others, and do little of the actual, usually on paper planning that also has been proven to help goal setting, or the work that goes into achieving them.

    That being said, there are two rules to success:
    1. Never tell everything you know. (yeah I stole the phrase).
     
  15. spmcnerd

    spmcnerd Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2010
    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    107
    My friends Dad had a radiator shop. His tag line was "Your hole is our goal", pretty sure he didn't tell his wife his goal until he printed everything.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 2
  16. AutomationSorcerer

    AutomationSorcerer Registered Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2015
    Messages:
    73
    Likes Received:
    66
    Occupation:
    Senior Software Engineer
    Location:
    Ethereal Plane
    I almost never left my room and was on the computer the majority of the time I was in there growing up.

    At 21, randomly out of the blue I told my family "Hey, I found a job writing software and they're moving me to Singapore in two months" (I'm from the US). Shocked the hell out of them, but I'd been working with the company on a project and making the plans for 6 months.

    I think next 6 years I traveled constantly working for 3 different companies around the world, usually not telling anyone what I was working on until it was about to happen.

    I'm still a hermit that rarely leaves home, but I do love to travel now. I only enjoy leaving home if I'm at least going a 100 miles away -_-;.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 3
  17. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    754
    Likes Received:
    1,732
    I'm so far behind on several projects by as much as ~5 years from bragging too much to people and fantasizing. One recent project I started thinking about back in Nov. I bragged about it to probably a few hundreds people and so far I'm not even close to launching it. I had to get 1,000,000 units for the project yet since Dec. 1st of last year I've done 332k units and 35k of it was today. I could have easily launched my project by the 1st week of January, yet I was more into bragging about to alot of people.
     
  18. jimbobo2779

    jimbobo2779 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    3,638
    Likes Received:
    2,614
    Occupation:
    Software Engineer
    Location:
    UK
    Home Page:
    This is true but I never really thought about it or figured it out. Very interesting stuff.

    I know that these days I am pretty good at sticking to my plans and achieving my goals but most that I have shared with others or talked about at length tend to have fallen by the wayside so this would kinda explain why.

    Thanks for this.
     
  19. archon10

    archon10 BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,181
    Likes Received:
    1,667
    The thing is: nobody really cares what your goals are except you. Maybe a spouse since they are stuck with you and your failures.

    People express goals on here because no one around a freelancer or the like really understands what it's like. I could talk to several people all day and most people don't understand what it's like to hold out for that awesome gig only to lose it. Most people have the luxury of fucking off at work for a day because they're sick or just feel like calling in. They have no idea what it's like to take risks or be stressed out about that next gig. They have no idea what it's like to know that if you fuck off for a day, you don't make money.

    At the same time, getting that vapid "good luck on your journey" doesn't mean anything either.
     
  20. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2014
    Messages:
    754
    Likes Received:
    1,732
    Talking about doing x1,x2,x3,x4 etc. seems like a better way than to say "Next Summer I'll be partying in ibiza".