1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why Google is just like a Bitch - a comprehensive analysis by Tony - an uplifting message.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by tony-raymondo, Dec 11, 2009.

  1. tony-raymondo

    tony-raymondo Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    459
    I really only study two things these days:

    1. How to get girls.
    2. How to make money online.

    Over the past few months, I've noticed these two topics are A LOT more similar than you might think.

    Hence, I present to you:

    Why Google is just like a Bitch

    [​IMG]

    Bitches fuck with your head.
    Google fucks with your head.

    Bitches put you in the "friend zone".
    Google puts you in the sandbox.

    Bitches test you when you least expect it.
    Google tests you when you least expect it.

    Bitches don't know what they want half the time.
    No single person at Google knows the entire PageRank algorithm.

    Sometimes bitches run around sharing love, and sometimes they choose one special guy.
    Sometimes Google runs around sharing love, and sometimes they rank one special website.

    Bitches slap you.
    Google slaps you.

    Once you finally succeed in getting the bitch, you'll just be out the next day trying to get a different one.
    Once you finally succeed in getting one website in Google's first position, you'll just be out the next day trying to rank another site.

    (See also: The Coolidge Effect http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect)

    You can read books about bitches until your eyes pop out, and you'll still never understand them.
    You can read books about Google until your eyes pop out, and you'll still never understand it.

    Here is a song about Google written by Billy Joel. (I was a bit surprised to learn that he was into Internet Marketing too):

    She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
    She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
    And she only reveals what she wants you to see
    She hides like a child, but she's always a GOOGLE to me

    She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
    She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe you
    And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
    Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a GOOGLE to me

    Ohhh... she takes care of herself
    She can wait if she wants, she's ahead of her time
    Ohhh... and she never gives out
    And she never gives in, she just changes her mind

    And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
    Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
    But she'll bring out the best and the worst you can be
    Blame it all on yourself 'cause she's always a GOOGLE to me

    She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
    She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
    And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
    And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
    But she's always a GOOGLE to me


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v4IBSnK8bY

    So true...

    So true...

    Well, now that I have about 50 failed relationships and 50 failed websites under my belt, I must say that I think there are indeed many corollaries between bitches and Google.

    Louann Brizendine wrote:

    "...the female brain is so deeply affected by hormones that their influence can be said to create a woman's reality. They can shape a woman's values and desires, and tell her, day to day, what's important. Their presence is felt at every stage of life, right from birth. Each hormone state—girlhood, the adolescent years, the dating years, motherhood, and menopause—acts as fertilizer for different neurological connections that are responsible for new thoughts, emotions, and interests. Because of the fluctuations that begin as early as three months old and last until after menopause, a woman's neurological reality is not as constant as a man's. His is like a mountain that is worn away imperceptibly over the millennia by glaciers, weather, and the deep tectonic movements of the earth. Hers is more like the weather itself—constantly changing and hard to predict."
    (Dr. Louann Brizendine," The Female Brain", Page 3.)


    So what's a man to do?

    Well as the great actor Joe Pesci said (In that shitty fucking film that no one saw called 'With Honors')

    "If a woman is willing to give you her love, it's the greatest gift in the world."

    ah yes...

    "If a Google is willing to give you her love, it's the greatest gift in the world."

    And so what's the moral here?

    "Women and Google! Can't Live With Em, Can't Live Without Em."

    Or perhaps this is a better ending:

    "The moral at the end of that story is this: 'Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.'"
    - Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake


    Or perhaps this is a better ending:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oVvFyBic_4

    Whatever.

    I'm going back to my bitch people. (er... back to work)

    Peace out bitches.

    :D
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2009
  2. showbizvet

    showbizvet Power Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2008
    Messages:
    795
    Likes Received:
    260
    Occupation:
    IM
    Location:
    Tennessee and around
    I sent this post to a bud... now this is thinking outside the boob.. er box.
     
  3. tony-raymondo

    tony-raymondo Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    459
    aint nothin but a g thang baby
     
  4. Flinx

    Flinx Newbie

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2009
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    38
    50 failed relationships? You analysis of women having something wrong with them says that you have not learned what you need to learn from those relationships.

    I used to think like you until I read the owners manual for women. Its called "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

    Basically it is a functional specification document for female software systems. IT EXPLAINS HOW THEY WORK.

    There is nothing wrong with women. They just work different than you.

    Its like having an auto mechanic try to work on a jet engine and complain they it "doesn't work right". It does work, its just that the auto mechanic has never been trained on it.

    You need to get training on women

    Read that book. It will give you a huge advantage in relationships.

    Then start looking for QUALITY females. Not at bars or clubs. Go to places where quality women go. And change yourself to "fit in" with them.

    Its just another kind of marketing

    Flinx

    PS. Want to find all the women you could ever want? Take up "personal development". Read the books. Go to the courses. Attend the conventions. A guy wanting to find himself? Who really wants to change? They will be all over you.
     
  5. pewep

    pewep Power Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2008
    Messages:
    586
    Likes Received:
    1,982
    Occupation:
    Porn Star
    Location:
    U.S.
    2 things to do this week:

    1. Get laid
    2. Get paid