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Who was your client(s) from hell?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by SEOMemj, Aug 6, 2016.

  1. SEOMemj

    SEOMemj Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Obvious this is going to be similar to http://clientsfromhell.net. If you don't know what that is - go there now. Thank me later.

    I want to hear about some of your stories about shitty clients and share some of mine. Whether the client was a moron, difficult, or just made you want to pull your hair out.


    My client from hell:

    This client was in the finance industry. They have a software in which users sign in and use within their browser.

    Said client fired me after 2 months of SEO work. The conversation went like this:

    "I have to end my contract with you. The data (GA data) looks great but it's impossible to tell who's coming to my website for the first time or who's a customer".

    Yes, the GA data I showed him included segments showing this exact data. I hated working with him so I kept my mouth shut and moved on.

    My client from hell:

    I was hired for a short-term SEO evaluation. The contract was to determine if their content was a good choice for their users. I accepted this job too early as If I had asked the right questions, I never would have taken this job.

    I was not permitted to view GA or any user metric data. I asked the client who their target market is their reply

    "Everyone".

    Obviously, I was going nowhere fast. I asked them who their personas were.

    "We don't have any".

    I started giving them advice on how if their writing appeals to segment A but most of their users are in segment B then they're wasting money and missing sale opportunities. I the offered to help them determine their personas by looking at their user data and doing a, b, c to find all the info.

    I was fired because, and I quote, "advice is too generic and not specific for our needs. Advice is good but will not help us as it is not specific enough".

    Your turn :)
     
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  2. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    It was the evening of November 10th, 2013. I had finished a meeting with a hair dresser who had just become my first client. We worked based on a loose web design contract that was verbally agreed to, a mistake that would come back to haunt me later in the month.

    Enthusiastic and eager to please my new client, I spent the entire day custom coding her website using my knowledge of HTML and CSS. On November 11th, I finished a rough draft of her website and subsequently sent her message to let her know the website was finished. She was impressed with not only my speed, but the design of the website. She sent me more photos for her website and I continued making improvements to her website over the next 2 weeks. Everything was going according to plan, or so I thought.

    On November 27th at 4:42 in the morning, she sent me a message, but this message differed from the others. It differed in tone; it was significantly more demanding than her previous messages. She began making absurd requests to have the pictures "pop", removing elements she had approved of in the past, and to make the website "perfect". It was clear to me that this was not the same woman I had worked with earlier in the month.

    Later that same day, she asked me for the login credentials for her website. I suspected that she would make an endeavour to gain access to the website to add her own images or text, but due to her lack of coding knowledge, she managed to break the entire site. She was auspicious, for I had created a backup of her website prior to providing her with the login credentials. I uploaded the backup of the site, restoring it to its former glory, but she never alerted me about what she did to the website; I had just been monitoring the website for changes. However, it was at this juncture that I began feeling ambivalent about the project, but I continued onward in hopes that the feeling was erroneous.

    I didn't hear from her until December 8th, which was the day she responded to my website update messages I sent the day before. Her messages were getting shorter; still demanding, but much shorter. Her final message to me read, "I'll send you more information soon", but the information and my payment never came.

    So what happened to my first client?

    On November 26th, she was styling the hair of one of her own clients when she began talking about her website. She excitedly showed her client the website using her phone. Her client happened to be a pseudo web designer who designed, and I use that term loosely, websites for her relatives and strippers using Squarespace and unmodified Wordpress themes. She told her that she could design a better website, all for the cost of doing her hair for free for the rest of the month; I was able to estimate that at $800 in services based on her rates. My client agreed, and her new web designer requested the login credentials from her, which my client requested from me in the morning. By now you've most likely figured out who the true culprit was that caused the site to break.

    The day after her last message, the new web designer had commandeered the site; it now had a $30 Wordpress theme installed, with only the images and title of the site being changed out. I was never properly fired from the job and she had the audacity to never inform me that she had a new web designer working on her site at the same time as me.

    However, that experience taught me to choose my client's precisely based on my buyer persona, and to write detailed contracts to prevent scope creep. It's for those reasons that I thank my first client, for without her abysmal behaviour, I could've potentially learnt these lessons much later.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 6, 2016
  3. risefromtheashes

    risefromtheashes Regular Member

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    I designed a website for an acquaintance, I gave them a friendly quote as their website was shit.
    I expected the website to be done in a month tops. 7 months later we're finally SUPPOSED to upload the site.
    Expect that people will always be fucking stupid, no matter how close they are. Always have everything on contract, and give a limit to revisions.
    Or eventually the idiots will start contradicting themselves,
    be overly demanding no matter how much or how little they paid and will fuck up a perfectly good website.
    You live and you learn, the first clients are usually the worst.
     
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  4. Finn

    Finn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    My personal client from hell:

    I served a streamer and guy named "Cro" on twitch and provided him his live viewers.

    He is by fact the son of one of the richest oil familys in Qatar. So the guy has millions on his account. Problem was that everytime he went live with his stream, on the very same time he kept spamming me on skype during his live stream, that he wants more viewers, he wants them faster and that I am a bitch and stuff like this.

    He always was strong on Alcohol and Cocaine so that made his attitude really crazy and unbearable. Whats also a matter of fact and not even a joke or troll, he had a thai prostitute sitting besides of him in every single stream.

    So its like this dude weaks up, does some shit what millionairs do during the day, and once it gets evening he gets on cocaine and alcohol. Then on his way home he seems to hire any kind of prostitute he can find and take her with him to his home. The only job this prostitute has to do in the first hours is just sitting besides of him and watch him live streaming. The awfull thing is that she is also on the stream and she doesnt even knows that. This is just halarious I can tell. Let me show you guys who cro was and how this fat crazy drug guy looked like on his live streams.

    By the way do you know what cro did streamed live ? He ONLY streamed how he opens CS:GO keys and spend over $1,000 on EVERY single stream he does while full on drugs and alcohol with prostitute besides him. I am sorry for the disturbing video but this was my personal client from hell :)

    This is cro on one of his live streams, the usual scenario:

     
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    Last edited: Aug 6, 2016
  5. Buzzika

    Buzzika Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    lol wtf
    You should have milked him for all the cash by offering a selection of very premium services you offer only to the exclusive clients like himself.

    PS. The country is Qatar btw, Katar is an Indian knife.
     
  6. Finn

    Finn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I have tried all of that trust me lol.
     
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  7. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    My response to that video:
    [​IMG]
     
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  8. Finn

    Finn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Well Zwielciht, thats how I personally started in IM and thats how my work looked like in the first months :D

    I earned pretty well with this guy so at least that was OK. But on the end it was too crazy to deal with him.

    After few months I finally deleted him on skype it was just too much for me at some point.

    Now you guys met the real client from hell.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 6, 2016
  9. CRT

    CRT BANNED BANNED

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    Ah good old cro. One time he actually played the game, then he accidentally showed his hacks haha
     
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  10. Lunaaa

    Lunaaa Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Should've gone in there with a few friends, get the most expensive stuff then leave without paying and tell her you will get a different stylist to finish
     
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  11. Finn

    Finn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    lol yes always these things happend to him ... what a crazy guy right.

    80% of his viewers were botted by the way.
     
  12. RafaViQ

    RafaViQ Power Member

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    Damn, I feel sorry for the money wasted by this fool.

    Aren't their parents aware of this? Lol
     
  13. Finn

    Finn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Their parents? The girl is a prostitute and the dude is the son of a billionair family.

    Maybe research their parents if you like and show them the video lol.
     
  14. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    My client from hell. He had three balls and wanted me to tea bag him.
     
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  15. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Ha ha!

    Wait, let me fix that: I should've gone in there, told her to do my hair, and then while she's working on my hair, I would have another stylist come in and work on my hair at the same time. Then I would pay the second stylist and walk out of her salon without paying her.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 6, 2016
  16. Finn

    Finn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Damn mickyfu. Interesting whats going on in your head :D
     
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  17. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Because of my username, people assume I am male. However, I'm a chubby little bird with ginger hair, and a messed up snatch.
     
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  18. Finn

    Finn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    [​IMG]
     
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  19. SEOMemj

    SEOMemj Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    I'm surprised he didn't try to pay you in cocaine
     
  20. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Difference is, I tea bagged him.