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Who else is clean and sober/in recovery

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Ianaesthetized, Sep 2, 2013.

  1. Ianaesthetized

    Ianaesthetized Regular Member

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    I know Im inviting a whirlwind of backlash with a title like that haha but I would like to see if there is anyone else in IM that is also completely clean and sober.

    Ill give a little background on myself. Im 23 years old, I live in the U.S., and Im 13 months clean and sober. I dont drink, I dont smoke pot, I do nothing of the sort.

    I've had quite a few addictions through the years, but what did me in were opiates. Mostly morphine. Ive never been much of a drinker, my main problem for years was speed. But after busting my face up in a bad car wreck, I got addicted to the pain medicine, then it just escalated from there. Which is actually pretty typical.

    Ive been in trouble with the law half of my life. But what really got me in trouble was what I decided to do when I was withdrawing. I hid in the storage area of a pharmacy, waited til they closed, then busted a hole in the wall from the bathroom to the pharmacy section. I stole thousands of pain pills and left. Yea tell me im stupid, say how funny it is blah blah blah ive heard it all. The fact of the matter is I made a very, very dumb decision. I ended up being caught a week later. I do have to say, this is far from my first crime of this nature, just the first where I was caught. There's no justification for something like this, but I was a junkie, I was willing to do anything to keep from withdrawing.

    But after they put a warrant out on me, I hid out in a sleezy motel for a week with my girlfriend. I ended up lawyering up and turning myself in.

    My sober day is July 24th 2012. My girlfriend left me shortly after, I dont blame her. I moved back in with my dad, my brother went to prison for 7 years and I had nothing left but to change. I put myself into a hole I could only get out of if I accepted responsibility for being the one that put myself there in the first place. I believe the level of change I achieved would not have been possible had I allowed self pity to manifest itself. Naturally Ive had a lot of really hard nights, but I knew I had no one to blame but myself.

    The couple days leading up to getting clean, I discovered IM. I obsessed over it immediately. Im now in a position where I make xxx/day, and have 5 figures in the bank. I still live with my dad, near my grandpa who grew to become my "best friend" haha but one thing Ive learned is the importance of family. Plus I dont want to leave my dad all alone since my brother is gone and hes pretty upset about that. I cant believe they stuck with me after all the shit ive done. I feel overwhelming shame for my past anytime I have to tell someone, or I tell a prospective "girlfriend" which never ends well. But I know I have to accept the past and move on as best I can.

    I am now very conscious of my health. I work out 5 days a week, take vitamins, eat clean, meditate, and have found many new hobbies to fill my time with. I wouldnt say Im a success story, but Im trying really hard to be a success story in the making lol

    The biggest change was my state of mind. I was a miserable, desperate person. I've done a lot of bad things in my past. I've had to learn to be positive about life. I had to put forth a lot of effort to keep myself thinking that way. I hoped and dreamed for this day so desperately, and through all the self induced hardships, I finally reached a place where I can feel good about my life. There is still farther to go, but I'm moving in the right direction.


    Is anyone is in recovery from dealing with addiction?
     
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