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When I get Tired..I read this and laugh like hell.Must see if you are exusted

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Jeevs, Sep 15, 2011.

  1. Jeevs

    Jeevs Supreme Member

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    I always look for a way to chill out after working for hours in front of my computer..and I never get bored reading the same lines I'm sharing here :) I smile each and every time..read,refresh and back to work!Enjoy...


    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said , ‘Where am I, Cathy?'
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan!

    _________________


    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget..
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

    _________________


    ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

    _________________


    ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
    WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.

    _________________

    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you shitting me?


    _________________

    ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

    _________________

    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death..
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Take a guess.

    _________________

    ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
    ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
    WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.

    _________________

    ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

    _________________


    ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

    _________________

    ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
    WITNESS: Oral..

    _________________

    ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
    ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.

    _________________

    And last:

    ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS: No..
    ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
    _________________

    I always get a smile when I read all these...and this is how I relax...thought to share..thanks for reading :)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 77
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2011
  2. kirkonpolttaja

    kirkonpolttaja Senior Member

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    Oh man cheers Jeevs! :) attorneys read too much from their prewritten scripts/notes that they dont listen to their own questions lol...
     
  3. Neo240

    Neo240 Power Member

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    Single word::::...EPIC.
     
  4. MKelly

    MKelly Regular Member

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    HAHA... those are great! I know a few dumbasses studying Law too, no wonder this happens!
     
  5. diablojump

    diablojump Newbie

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    Crap! It was a FATAL mistake to read this at management meeting. Now they want me to take a mental assessment :stupido3:
    I had a good laugh though.. Thanks mate
    (My mom was right, I should have taken law school)
     
  6. Jeevs

    Jeevs Supreme Member

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    lol :D carry on wid your meeting ;)
     
  7. mohan1218

    mohan1218 Registered Member

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    Awesome man! I really laughed a lot after so many days...

    Thank you very much!
     
  8. funkienz

    funkienz BANNED BANNED

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    Those are some awesome. Made my Day.
     
  9. shankshera

    shankshera Junior Member

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    Wow, after so many days? I think you must trying to love your body than your job. :)
     
  10. vlerian

    vlerian Junior Member

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    hahahahaha...
     
  11. Whitegold

    Whitegold Junior Member

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    Absolutely brilliant! ... cheers for the share :D
     
  12. virtualc08

    virtualc08 Supreme Member

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    Dude I almost peed in my pants .. LOL this is hilarious... Especially the last two .. I still cant stop laughing ..
     
  13. FuryKyle

    FuryKyle Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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  14. sagarpatil

    sagarpatil Regular Member

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    really nice. i had fun reading it.
     
  15. Jeevs

    Jeevs Supreme Member

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    Yeah...the last 2 are hilarious
     
  16. TheMatrix

    TheMatrix BANNED BANNED

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    I liked this one more than the others...

    BTW, someone has the complete ebook?
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2011
  17. martsb

    martsb Registered Member

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    thanks,cheered me up,some classics there
     
  18. gunur

    gunur Regular Member

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    hahaha....thanks for this
     
  19. seovirtualassistance

    seovirtualassistance Regular Member

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    LOllll :)
     
  20. Rumborak

    Rumborak Junior Member

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    Awsome! Anybody got the ebook?