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What's wrong with my Sales Page?

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by englandrm, Apr 8, 2011.

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  1. englandrm

    englandrm Senior Member

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    (I'm pretty sure this is allowed and think is the best section to post it in, but if not please delete/move as you see fit)

    What's wrong with my sales page? I want you to poke as many holes in it as you can. It's not converting like it used to.

    Here was the link, I removed it after.


    Thanks. ~englandrm
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2011
  2. artizhay

    artizhay BANNED BANNED

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    I don't deal much with this type of landing page, but I have read many places that you need a big call to action above the fold. At least a button that jumps down to the order button.

    Also, this is just a guess, but you may be invoking a negative psychological undercurrent by saying how boring and slow reading is, then prompting the user to read a long sales pitch. I think you should maybe have some bullet points of the main benefits (along with the pitch) and the call to action above the fold. Or maybe even move the video up. It just seems like reading a long pitch is probably the opposite of what your particular audience wants to do.

    I hope this helps. =]
     
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  3. butterrr

    butterrr Junior Member

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    you headlines are weak and don't make readers want to continue to read the sales page..

    you go into the sale way to early, you need to show and tell the people reading why they need your software and how their life is crappy without it, how they are wasting so much time and energy without using your software..

    tell a story of how the software has helped someone (or make it up) that people can related to
     
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  4. Autumn

    Autumn Elite Member

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    You've got three headlines and they're all not very good - try something like "Triple your reading speed in 7 days or your money back!"
    Not enough copy
    Not enough subheadings
    Not enough focus on benefits
    No short summary of what the product actually is or does or how it works
    Doesn't capture my attention - boring to look at
    First few paras are useless and could be completely cut
    Few examples
    No testimonials
    Poor call to action, no benefit in call to action
    No verisign etc seals
    No explanation about bonus offers
     
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