What you missed in the Blackhat Lounge: April 2018

Sherb

Ban reason = Abuse of Mods
Joined
Dec 26, 2010
Messages
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For the best threads of 4/2 to 4/9, please click https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/the-dirty-dozen-lounge-threads-of-4-2-to-4-9-a-tl-dr.1021280/.

@krishnaverma

https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/how-i-made-290-000-selling-books-finally-revealed.1025978/

Lo and behold the thread that made me realize that @krishnaverma was not just a very sophisticated Xrumer bot. Quote of the thread, though, goes to @mickyfu with "I've had more balls whacked against my chin, than Roger Federer's racket."

@Billy Batts
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/so-6ix9ine-huh.1025914/

Birthday Billy bitches about trashrap. Claims music was better in the ol' days and posts pics of black dudes squinting versus Skittlemouthes. @Ricky.Montana posts some philosophical shit. People with shit opinions shit on other shit opinions.

@vinku
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/real-world-business-is-better.1025475/

Actually an alright thread about brick and mortar versus online businesses. @Sherb outlines his entire retirement coffee food truck model. @LukaB talks about https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/real-world-business-is-better.1025475/page-4#post-11001692.

@Sherb
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/23-000-posts-for-proxygo.1025094/

proxygo bypasses 23,000 posts. West Germany joins NATO. @proxygo adds over 200 posts in the five days since. Proxygo admits to narcolepsy and polyphasic sleep. @Asif WILSON Khan posts a pic of a weiner and gets away with it.

@Billy Batts
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/woot-made-it-to-another-year.1024798/

He an old bitch. Billy shacks up with @MisterF. Still looking for his fuckin' shinebox. Quote of the thread goes to @Geasy with "NO FUCKING GIFF". @Dribber does some weird ass shit. @Society Girl volunteers to build a BHW boat.

@Aman Dubey
Make $500 with only $10

OP outlines how to do CPA marketing using PPC. The most innovative and exciting thread I have ever seen on this site, ever. The thread was so good that the OP was banned for revealing a method outside of Jr. Exec. @Lust tags me. I didn't want to be tagged.

@SiddharthW
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/you-broke-whats-your-next-move-with-your-last-100.1024473/

I think this entire thread can be summed up with this direct quote from a post in this thread from @Zwielicht: "https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/you-broke-whats-your-next-move-with-your-last-100.1024473/#post-10989749" BHW superstar and my third favorite member @Sherb lays out another solid plan of action.

@kongking
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/im-giving-up-on-on-this-shit-wasted-enough-time.1024465/

OP is a hentai-addicted security guard who spends his spare time bitching on the Internet to a group of nobodies on a forum with a ten year old logo. @macdonjo3 also claims to be a hentai-addicted security guard. Quote from OP: "I won't show my dick on camera".

@vinku
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/i-cannot-street-fight-i-feel-like-bitch-now.1024238/

well..... would you? would you fight me IRL? obviously the answer is no. I'm just saying think about that for a minute.... you are a "man"? no.... you are not a man... you are a male. You are a person. You have no physical attributes that make you a man. You can read, you are smart, you know math and can make comments on reddit. You have decimals and maybe a penis. You are not a "man". I however... can comfortably say, " I am a man". When women look at you, they see a nerd or a boy or a geek. When they look at me they wet their panties and go "oooohhhh fuck, who is that man???"

Alternate: Come on and fight me you little midget You fuckin little ass kid Ill have you know I know 700 forms of fighting and one of them is midget stomping DONT FUCK WITH ME YOU LITTLE CUNT

@wanmei
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/im-chinese-you-can-ask-me-if-you-have-any-questions.1024022/

Let's get down to business, to defeat the Huns / Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons? / You're the https://www.blackhatworld.com/ / But you can bet before we're through / Mister, I'll make https://www.blackhatworld.com/members/sherb.152709/ out of you.

@SEOWORLDS
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/really-upset-and-offended.1023895/

Whiny ass bitch being a whiny ass bitch. OP learns that there can only be one dog on BHW and that dog is @Neon. Or @Innovatorz. Or @Sombrero. There can only be three dogs on BHW. OP says "ban me bitch". Gets banned. Answer provided, thread closed.

@gcgipson
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/i-guess-bhw-isnt-the-best-place-to-ask-questions.1023888/

OP asked a https://www.quora.com/Where-can-I-buy-cheap-tall-gay-tables-online, gets no answers, makes another thread to whine about it. Summary from @jazzc: "Just because you decided one day to post your 3 Qs, doesn't mean there's an army of people who were waiting patiently in queue to post their As to them."

@bigvision
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/school-is-written-by-the-banks.1023812/

Armchair conspiracy theorist gets spiritual awakening from a YouTube video, just like the Dolly Llama. @MikeyMikey13, BHW's resident actual lawyer, spits game. @jazzc explains banks. @Zbigniew accidentally shit talks @BassTrackerBoats. I think he was actually referring to me.

@roseczech
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/rip-paypal.1023561/

OP and others are shocked when their breaking of PayPal's Terms of Service isn't going to go unnoticed any more. Claims PayPal is done for. Forgets what PayPal actually does. LITERALLY 30+ POSTS SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING WITH DIFFERENT WORDS. Fuck.

@eternalwarrior

https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/why-are-you-an-entrepreneur.1023060/?

Misinformation and generalization everywhere. Like https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/why-are-you-an-entrepreneur.1023060/#post-10973737 and https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/why-are-you-an-entrepreneur.1023060/#post-10975489 and https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/why-are-you-an-entrepreneur.1023060/page-2#post-10975493 and https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/why-are-you-an-entrepreneur.1023060/page-2#post-10975613 and https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/why-are-you-an-entrepreneur.1023060/page-3#post-10976686 and https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/why-are-you-an-entrepreneur.1023060/page-3#post-10976929. Want to know what an "entrepreneur" is associated with nowadays here in the States? A stay at home mom peddling leggings and essential oil and makeup and making Instagram stories saying "DM me to find out how I live my miserable life!"

@GopalGoyal
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/earning-1500-2000-per-day.1022885/

OP says "its true I can show my earnings in inbox". Earnings in this case means very small penis. Standard BHW shit-thread: Boasting with no proof, people talking shit, others trying to crack jokes that fall flat, multiple PayPal Money Generator references... six pages.

@bartosimpsonio
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/google-spying-shown-live-on-video.1022581/

My own tl;dr: That's fine with me. It's not like there's a third world call center with a dude wearing a huge headset and scribbling notes on my activities. This isn't Watergate, it's all robots and shit. If Google wants to listen in to me telling my wife that 30 Seconds to Mars is finally coming to town, and then display relevant ads, so be it. If I have to suffer through advertising, I'd rather have it related to my lifestyle instead of just my browsing habits... @Apricot never passed out the hats.

@Veronique89
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/balkan-people-overhere.1022437/

Catfish attempt. Nine pages of shit. OP says: "Yes, I am female and maybe more attractive, but I don't like people judging me on my looks." @Ecodor says: "Whats your boobs size?" @hacko accidentally https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/balkan-people-overhere.1022437/#post-10966022. He doesn't realize that's an instant permaban. HACKOED

@juniorfast1
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/president-trump-orders-airstrikes-against-syria.1022398/

"What I won't do is take in two hundred thousand Syrians who could be ISIS... I have been watching this migration. And I see the people. I mean, they're men. They're mostly men, and they're strong men. These are physically young, strong men. They look like prime-time soldiers. Now it's probably not true, but where are the women?... So, you ask two things. Number one, why aren't they fighting for their country? And number two, I don't want these people coming over here."

@MAG WEB DESIGNS
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/holy-crap-im-moving-to-algieria.1022257/

OP gets e-whored and tells us all about it. @Nerva says everyone is ugly. @ExperimentalSEO gets super ass boring with "Beautiful women can be found anywhere. What is more important is how is the legal system, tax rates, infrastructure and business climate."

@bigvision
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/my-life-just-changed.1021609/

OP literally makes up a shitty story just to get on this list. First eight words are all you need to read: "first off don’t be a dumbass like me". @BassTrackerBoats predicts thread length accurately. I PM him for lottery numbers, he gives me numbers, I play numbers, I don't win shit. Fuck you, man.

@myfault
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/despacito-video-hacked.1021481/

So today in Spanish class, my teacher told us that we would be listening to a song in Spanish. Already, I began to tremble. I had a bad feeling about this. “Which one?” I ask shakily, not wanting to hear the answer. “Despacito” She responds. I begin to hyperventilate. My worst fears have been realized. I fade in and out of conciseness. I clamp my palms over my ears, but I know it’s futile. The song plays. I’m crying now, praying. God, Allah, Buddha please help me. I curl up on the floor. There’s nothing I can do now. And then it happens. The chorus plays. The girls in my class open their mouths. The screams of the damned, the shrieks of the tortured fill my ears and bounce around my skull. My eardrums rupture, blood leaking out. I try to scream, but no sound comes out. I can only sit there, violently shaking as it happens to me. After what seems like hours, it’s finally over. I try to move, but I cannot make myself. My brain shuts down as my vision fades to black. I muster the last of my energy, uttering the accursed word. “Despacito”

@MehdiBmm
https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/what-of-a-procrastinator-i-am.1021345/

I would walk naked backwards through a forest fire wearing nothing but a gasoline filled jumpsuit while a swarm of angry bees compete for the right to sting my eyeballs just for the chance to go back in time and not have to review this thread for this list.

...






There is no way anyone got this far in this shitty thread pandering for Thanks, so I can safely reveal this to the world:

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge, and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to orgasm. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor’s office and when he lubes up I nearly cum every time. But I’ve trained my keggle muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius’s wrath. then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting it’s prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don’t have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it’s covered by taxpayers. That’s my fetish.
 
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I was getting worried that we'd never see another @Sherb roundup posts after checking the lounge for the weekly posts. But you have put all my worries behind me! This should be a good read....
 
@Billy Batts
So 6ix9ine huh..

Birthday Billy bitches about trashrap. Claims music was better in the ol' days and posts pics of black dudes squinting versus Skittlemouthes. @Ricky.Montana posts some philosophical shit. People with shit opinions shit on other shit opinions.

Only my humble opinion. Thank you for taking me into consideration :suspicious:
 
He an old bitch
Excuse me? Calling a male bitch is not only disrespectful but will get you killed in many parts in the world.

You lucky I like you so I will let this one slip and call off the Hitman. ;)
 
your prostate has a very interesting life
 
Lol nice post but....

I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams.

you-gotta-pump-those-numbers-up-those-are-rookie-numbers.jpg
 
You forgot the dentures thread by tunescool he is one member who will always make the list :)

No.

OP, you are an exceptional writer. The more I read your lounge collections, more I appreciate your writing skills.

Hey thanks!

Excuse me? Calling a male bitch is not only disrespectful but will get you killed in many parts in the world. You lucky I like you so I will let this one slip and call off the Hitman. ;)

Who the fuck are you?

EDIT: Oh I see it's Bill.
 
I love the round-ups, John. Keep up the good work.

Also, fuck 6ix9ine. Sexually assaulting a 13 year old
 
@MAG WEB DESIGNS
Holy Crap I'm Moving to Algeria

OP gets e-whored and tells us all about it. @Nerva says everyone is ugly. @ExperimentalSEO gets super ass boring with "Beautiful women can be found anywhere. What is more important is how is the legal system, tax rates, infrastructure and business climate."

It was an honor just to be nominated
 
@bartosimpsonio
Google spying shown live on video

My own tl;dr: That's fine with me. It's not like there's a third world call center with a dude wearing a huge headset and scribbling notes on my activities. This isn't Watergate, it's all robots and shit. If Google wants to listen in to me telling my wife that 30 Seconds to Mars is finally coming to town, and then display relevant ads, so be it. If I have to suffer through advertising, I'd rather have it related to my lifestyle instead of just my browsing habits... @Apricot never passed out the hats.

Tell us something, Sherb.

Does doing this on forums improve your rankings?

Google knows who you are, they know who I am. Do they improve your rankings based on how generous you are about Google in every aspect ;) ?

We're all capitalists in here, so tell us what's in it for you to be so kind about Google in every single aspect? Honest question. I might change my views based on your reply, for real.
 
Tell us something, Sherb.

Does doing this on forums improve your rankings?

Google knows who you are, they know who I am. Do they improve your rankings based on how generous you are about Google in every aspect ;) ?

We're all capitalists in here, so tell us what's in it for you to be so kind about Google in every single aspect? Honest question. I might change my views based on your reply, for real.

I just really want Google Fiber to come to my city is all.
 
I just really want Google Fiber to come to my city is all.

Why Google Fiber and not just any fiber? You know why Google Fiber is "cheaper" right?

You know but it doesn't matter, because you don't really do anything black hat?
 
You'd better create useful threads which reflects your high reputation here. Thread by Leith is a very good example. Help others with your knowledge is far better. Dont forget to give respect and there will be no war in this world.

Hahahahaaha
 
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