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What would you do if you met up w/an old bully from school?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by tonlilaz, Jan 21, 2010.

  1. tonlilaz

    tonlilaz Executive VIP Premium Member

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    well, in middle school, there were these 2 girls that made my life a living hell on a daily basis.

    the time i went to school, there wasn't an awareness of the impact of bullying....so the teachers didn't really do much...and i never talked about it to my parents (they just didn't know why i wasn't doing well in school)

    well, we eventually moved away (middle of the school year), and even though i've moved on from those days, they're actions left scars that carried w/me even now some 25 years later. I mean, i'm not at the point where i need psychiatric help lol.....but it made an impact...i'm sure those of you who've been bullied know what i'm talking about.


    so, i found one of the girls on facebook the other day....and i verified it's the same person (not just some person with the same name).

    i realize that we all grow up...and that they aren't the same people they were in middle school....but what would you do if you had a chance to meet up with an old bully? would you just let it go? would you say anything? i'm not really looking for an apology....but a part of me wants to be like, 'you did this to me, and i'm ok'...a part of me wants to know what happened to them after i left...

    what would you guys do if you were faced w/this situation?
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2010
  2. fatboy

    fatboy Elite Member

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    Ask her what time she works at McDonalds just so you can hear her say 'do you want fries with that' before pulling your large bankroll out to pay her with a $100 bill ;)
     
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  3. Remington

    Remington Regular Member

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    Make sure you don't give her any usable information about yourself. It's amazing how people DON'T change. She just may decide a trip down memory lane, including messing up your current life, is just what would make her day.

    Personally I'd give her a bit of payback by finding some way to get her Facebook account banned.
     
  4. poisonsembrace

    poisonsembrace Registered Member

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    Kids can be cruel and I'd hazard a guess that girls are much worse than boys when it comes to bullying.

    In any case, move on. Don't add them to your Facebook because what good can come from it? Most people who are bullies have issues of their own to deal with and unless they've already worked through those issues and approached you with an apology, then i don't think you'll get one any time soon.

    If it really is troubling you, speak to a counselor, not the perpetrator.
     
  5. Crooker

    Crooker Newbie

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    Well i use to bully at school.
    I was very tall at a very young age, giving me some power over others.
    Although i didn't realize it then, i later found out people, even some who were my friends back then, were actually very afraid of me.

    I was walking on a local market a few months ago and someone came up to me.
    He asked me if i was crook.
    So i replied, yes i am. Turns out we were in the same football team years ago.
    We went for a drink and then he told me he use to pray to god that he could just make it threw the day without me harassing him.
    It really took me by surprise. I had no idea I had such an impact on people.
    Sure we made jokes about one another, which i thought nothing of.
    But he took it home with him.

    Point is, those people probably think the same about you.
    Not as a victim, but just tonlilaz from high school.
    Like you said people change.
     
  6. shadowguy

    shadowguy Junior Member

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    Karma is a bitch.

    1) Get nude pictures of her
    2) If that fails get insulting pics of her like you're a bitch that fucks animal blabla
    3) Friend all her facebook friends
    4) Tag all her friends
    ...
    5) Profit!
     
  7. plouyd

    plouyd Regular Member

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    there were like 2-3 people who have bullied me in school, if i saw them now i would pretend to not know who they are if they recognized me so they would feel that their months of being a douche = fail.

    but i prolly wouldnt recognize them anyway because the 2 of 3 were before middle school...

    there was 1 douche in HS (the 3rd) who i'd for sure ask how it's been not having a shower since the last time we spoke.. then i'd punch him in the mouth..

    ah bullies..
     
  8. Mrnewbie

    Mrnewbie Regular Member Premium Member

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    I was bullied and it really did affect me. Now, I wouldn't let or give the same people the satisfaction of knowing how I am doing now. What is the point? Do you think they would care? I just moved on with my life and I hope you can do it also. The scares will always be there you just need to put them and that situation in the rear-view mirror. Sorry that this happened to you btw.
     
  9. kumansk

    kumansk Regular Member

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    u turned 9 yesterday?
     
  10. lucius

    lucius Power Member

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    Well if you ask me, its not worth the time or risk to see if they changed or not. Why would you even give two shits about them, anyways? heck, they used to be your enemies, so that gives you more than enough reason to avoid them. Kids that are like that at an early age often dont change, it just gets into their character. My advice: stay away from that woman, even if you did go ahead and found them to be a changed person, what good would it bring anyways? Good luck.
     
  11. CoyoteAssassin

    CoyoteAssassin Elite Member

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    Are you a male or female? I do not want to assume.

    It sounds like your experience (good or bad) has made you humble and more respectful to others because you "know what it is like".

    I had a simular experience in school. As a Christian, I am taught to forgive the person - so I have. If I was to see them out, old memories would recure, but I would not let that affect my interaction with them today. However, I would make it a point to stand up for myself if they tried to start their bad habits all over again.

    If this person is not a friend, just leave them on Facebook. You reaching out could make you appear to be weak and in need of a friendship.

    In conclusion, don't do what some of the post above have mentioned and try to seek revenge. It appears as though you have been blessed and there is no reason for you to mess it up.

    What do you think? Comments on my suggestion?
     
  12. shadowguy

    shadowguy Junior Member

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    Nah I've been bullied too, a lot.
    I had no mercy for people that hurt me and more or less i always got my revenge (had one guy fired and did something similar to this fb thing to another).
    But that's just me, if you want to let people do what they want to you well, i completely understand you.

    And no, people don't change.

    edit: but this really wasn't nothing compared to what they have done me, i feel like i forgave them
     
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2010
  13. blackhat

    blackhat Newbie

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    I don't know what I'd say you should do, espcially if you're a woman.

    I'm a guy who was quite small and, while there were some general idiots who took advantage of that, there were two or three who took it way too far.

    It affected so badly (I'm in my 40s) if I saw them now I'd knock them out.

    See, before I even left school I started weight training and martial arts. Now I'd kick the shit out of them.

    And I'm still not very tall. But I'd die before I let them beat me again.
     
  14. danizdeman

    danizdeman Regular Member

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    Do you know what you do?
    You forgive her.
    If you forgive her, then that will be the greatest way to insult her.
     
  15. tony-raymondo

    tony-raymondo Junior Member

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    seems that i've met so many females that have "this one girl in highschool" who they absolutely hate.

    i'm convinced, that, eventhough we always see male bullys in movies, i think girls are more evil than guys

    so heres what i would do

    NOTHING

    grow up
     
  16. rickstar

    rickstar Elite Member

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    Just to clarify, are you a girl as well or a guy?

    I never really got "bullied" at school but I did get into a few fights back in the day over small crap that escalated.

    If I met one of the assholes, I wouldn't really do anything at all. On the other hand, if he/she decided to be their asshole self again, I wouldn't hesitate to kick their ass.
     
  17. sharpie349

    sharpie349 Regular Member

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    The OP is a girl just to let you all know.
     
  18. Hierarchy

    Hierarchy Regular Member

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    My principal in HS told my parents I was going to grow up to be a consumer... Once I started making over 7k a month I called him up and offered him a job to screw with him and told him he was not economically viable like in the movie "Falling Down" and let him know exactly who I am and that I am the President of my own company now. Wont ever forget that day lol :) .
     
  19. stang1101

    stang1101 Junior Member

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    I would forgive them, but have nothing to do with them. You got to move on, you cant change the past or what happened. Don't think about it and let them get to you any more.
     
  20. Gupnup

    Gupnup Regular Member

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    murder/suicide