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What Is The Most Ridiculous Question You've Ever Been Asked By A Client?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Zwielicht, Jan 17, 2015.

  1. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    I figured this would be a fun thread for everyone to share the ridiculous questions they've been asked by their clients, so I'll start:

    Web design and photo retouching client
    November 27th, 2013
    4:28 a.m.
    [​IMG]
     
  2. THUNDERELVI

    THUNDERELVI Elite Member

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    "Why do I need a website?" - maybe not the most stupid but comon it's the 21th century!
     
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  3. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    can i have a payment plan? for a service that charges 1 signup fee with
    no monthly re up
     
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  4. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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  5. TheFreshPrince

    TheFreshPrince Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    How much do you think we would need to pay xxxxxx.com to switch spots with us in google?
     
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  6. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    I just found this client response while searching my email archive from when I offered photo retouching as a service:

    "This work is easy for you, so I don't see why I have to pay".
     
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  7. Leith

    Leith Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    Haha, this made my day!
     
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  8. DFWi Reaper

    DFWi Reaper Regular Member

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    Not really a client, but had a friend on fb asking for anyone who knew some SEO. Everyone was saying how it can be pricey and some guy comes in and comments

    "I have a friend who can do it for 10$, hmu"

    so I had to ask what he did for 10$/m and he responds

    "Google ratings, advertising, keywords, domain names etc etc. He may have gone up he may have not. He does it from his house."

    I guess some people can work for really cheap prices :p
     
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  9. Xp3r7

    Xp3r7 Regular Member

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    Go to http://clientsfromhell.net/ for more :)

    Personal experience:
    -You said you create and edit websites? Google is a website, right? Then why can't you edit it and make all users go to my site?
     
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  10. redrubies

    redrubies Supreme Member

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    Oh God, I have so many that stand out in my mind from over 25 years of having my own business. Let's see...

    I just bought xxx. Will you be bringing it to me before I go to bed? (she bought it at my online store)

    You know that sapphire necklace you have? Do you have it with a ruby but in earrings?

    (from a woman married to a woman) My wife said I look fat in this necklace.

    I just received a ring that I never ordered. Don't think I'm paying for this because I'm not. I'm returning it to you. I know your kind. You send jewelry to people thinking they will pay for it. (My response was that it was a gift, and there was a gift card enclosed, and I would let --- know that she didn't want the gift. LOL)

    From a dentist-Can you make me teeth necklaces? I want to give them as gifts. (because who wouldn't want a tooth necklace???)
     
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  11. Golonzo

    Golonzo Junior Member

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    After meeting with client to show them the website I made for them. She asks me "do you repair computers and remove viruses, my Facebook is slow... and can your repair point of sale terminals. "

    Just because I can make a website does not mean I know every freaking thing about technology.
     
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  12. iggypop

    iggypop Junior Member

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    Designed a huffopo/tabloid style news site for these guys and they wondered why their website wasnt ranked #1 a week after i finished it. They also threatened not to pay me on the grounds they couldn't immediately flip it for $20,000. It was more ridiculous than that but that gives you an idea.

    oh yeah one more from those same clients.

    "I just reposted news content from another site. Please make our post go viral by 5pm today, thank you".
     
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    Last edited: Jan 18, 2015
  13. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    You should have made the dentist a shark tooth necklace with an inscription on the back that said "Surf's Up, Dude". :D
    [​IMG]
     
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    Last edited: Jan 18, 2015
  14. Reeshua

    Reeshua Power Member

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    This client says he has a background on SEO because his friend is a famous SEO that joins lead generation competitions. He also keeps a handy rank tracker on his smartphone:

    "I want the top 10 results for this keyword to be my site."
     
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  15. fatboy

    fatboy Elite Member

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    #1: "I need a bot in the next hour or so, it needs to do: <list as long as your arm>, I can pay but I only have $3 in my PayPal"

    #2:
    Them: "Its an easy bot to code so can you do it for free"
    Me: "If its easy, why don't you do it"
    Them: "I don't know how to code"
    Me: "So why do you think its easy"
    Them: "Because its just a box with some fields in it"
    Me: "No"

    Could go on......
     
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  16. st1ck

    st1ck Junior Member

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    Today: If I shut my computer off does it still work?
     
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  17. papa_ji

    papa_ji BANNED BANNED Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    sometime people add me on skype or send me email or Pm and some ask me very stupid question.

    "what are you selling / offering ?"

    damn why you try to add me on skype or send me mail or pm if you don't even know what I am selling. don't know why some people are sooo stupid.....
     
  18. Lauriat

    Lauriat Power Member

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    I have asked this question myself and i have explanation to it, say i need your service and i add you to skype, you respond only after a week when i have forgotten who you are and why i needed you. I have long list of skype contacts, i can not remember each and one of them.
     
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  19. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Many people forget that they are also paying for the service as well as your expertise. For example, a house owner can easily trim the hedges and mow the lawn in their yard, but they may not have the time to do it, so the'll pay a gardener $100/day to come by every weekend to do it for them. The house owner isn't paying them because they can't mow their lawn, they're paying them for the convenience of not having to do it themselves.
     
  20. Rahimys

    Rahimys Registered Member

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    he makes 50$/day with adsense , he asked me: "what is backlink"