Hello friends! Today I am going to show you how to bullshit your way to selling SEO services! I've been a lurker here for a while and decided to share some wisdom to all of you. Bullshitting your way to internet riches is quite easy - if you know how to pull it off. The more recent your sales page (or BST or website) the better. We're not talking about using the most recent design trends, mind you. We're talking about recent MOVIES! The more recent the movie, the catchier your service is. Who the heck cares about the quality of your SEO anyway (hint: no one, at least until their site tanks)? If the movie is a hit, your SEO probably will be too. "The Babadook SEO: Scare Google With Our Penguin Proof SEO!" sounds pretty convincing to me. Go all out. Nothing says dedication than going all out on your sales page's design! You like this completely unrelated anime character, huh? Use it! Oh, how about this sparkly neon pattern thingy? That looks hip and modern, so you could probably paste it beside Matt's cropped face. That would be funny. He he he... The general rule is, the more stuff you put in your sales page, the better. It kinda distracts them from the stuff that really matters, you know. You don't need to be perfect. Proofreading? That's just a waste of time. Misspellings and wrong grammar are a-okay! No one reads your entire BST anyway. Just make sure you get the price right, because that's where they often look. Jargons are good. When you're bullshitting your way to internet monies, make sure to put in as much jargon as you can. You can also try using self-important words such as "integration" or any word with -tion for that matter. And don't forget to insert "optimization" wherever possible because that like, the most important word. Nuff said. Discounts are eternal. Always put discounts on your packages even if they're really not. Try putting a crossed out "Was: $297", followed by a bigger "now: $35" below. Customers will surely be lining up to your awesomeness in no time. They wouldn't miss your limited offer for the world! An exciting twist: Can't keep up with the competition? Offer a discount to attract customers! Release 10 copies with a 20% discount. After those have been availed of, release 10 more with 20% discount still. Rinse and repeat. Guarantees are great. Guarantee page 1 rankings within 3-4 weeks. That's what customers (who know nothing about SEO, by the way) want, right? So give it to them! If in case you fail and your client did not reach the first page or worse, get penalized, say that Google is an unpredictable bastard and the only way to overcome such adversity is to continue with your SEO campaign.