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Tutorial: How to be a total blackhat TURD [READ IT OR DIE]

Discussion in 'Black Hat SEO' started by HenryHavoc, Jan 30, 2009.

  1. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    5 Ways to be a Total Blackhat DOUCHE-NUGGET.



    1: Post "digg me I digg you" posts
    We've all seen them. Typical douche-nugget makes an unproductive post saying that everyone should post there digg/stumble/propeller links, and if you digg his link, he'll do the same. What actually happens? Everyone will be intrigued by this "genuine" offer and immediately digg his link. They will then post their link as well. But in reality, the only people getting dugg are the first few that post their links. The longer the post gets, the less productive the idea gets.

    2: Lie about earnings
    Not going to name any names here. *cough* 14 year old marketing "genius" *cough*. Lying to other blackhatters about how much you make is a surefire way to declare yourself a complete turd. The worst part? Is when real BHers like me confront them publicly, and they try to lie their way out of it (total PHAILSAUCE.)

    3: talkn wit no grammer liek dis
    Do I really have to evaluate on this one? Come on people, I'm 15 years old and even I know that the built in spell-checker in FireFox will make you sound 10x smarter than you actually are.

    4: "Thanks" posts
    Anytime someone posts watered-down information, attempts to "teach" people how to make money (when they don't even do it themselves), or writes "CLIX THE THX BUTTUN IF YOU LIEK THISS!!!!11!!1!" is a douche. There's one thing if you say "if this helped you, show thanks by replying, repping, or clicking that magic button", that is if you actually put effort into what you're sharing. Otherwise -- DOUCHE.

    5: Not sharing
    Don't be stingy. If you know something about blackhatting that others don't, fucking share! Make your mamma proud and write up a tutorial on your methods. Either way, it will get shared eventually.

    I recommend that everyone prints this list out and sticks it by their monitor, that way you won't end up looking like a total blackhat TURD.

    Feel free to add more to the list :)
     
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  2. crunch

    crunch Junior Member

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    damn, who died and made u god
     
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  3. jvmarket

    jvmarket Regular Member

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    Talking about shit you've never done and claiming to be the expert on it.

    Being a leach
     
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  4. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Lol really? I feel kind of flattered actually, I haven't been compared to god in a few days. :rolleyes:
     
  5. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    wow your only 15 i would never have guessed :) that spell checker really does do wonders then :D
     
  6. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    +1
    (cookie, cookie, cookie)
     
  7. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Doesn't it? I just can't stand posting anything and seeing that annoying red line underneath something I didn't spell right :( Must be OCD.
     
  8. crunch

    crunch Junior Member

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    thats not what she said :D
     
  9. lewi

    lewi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    By OCD you mean

    Over-rated
    Cock
    Dance

    i presume? otherwise i have no idea

    nice topic and is very true but the digg one really does need a site that can work on points etc for that to work.... could be a big money maker too
     
  10. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Actually I was more leaning towards Overweight Crossdressing Dominatrix :p

    I actually had the same idea around 10 minutes ago when I was sitting on the crapper brainstorming. There's been a lot of websites geared around the same idea, but none made it.
     
  11. frooshontay

    frooshontay Newbie

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    I liek dis threeeet!!! :d
     
  12. aмillionaírе

    aмillionaírе Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I think everyone should try to learn and write in decent English.
     
  13. emgxxg

    emgxxg Registered Member

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    Henry are you sure you've never requested people to hit the "thanks" button. Forget threads its in your signature :)

    And in my personal opinion you shouldn't be stingy, and should share.. with people who wont trash the method and shorten the life cycle of the particular version of the method. unless of course you can make up for the lost money selling it as an ebook. And if not, be stingy, let someone take the credit, use and abuse the method before it gets shared, and thats that.

    feels like a topic i'd discuss in the lounge.

    Cheers!!
     
  14. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Like I said, there's a huge difference in reminding people to show gratitude rather than making a post for the simple reason of getting your thanks button clicked ;)
     
  15. Erik

    Erik Regular Member

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    No names but what about people who use lil wayne as their avatar? i kid. i kid.
     
  16. RaoulDuke

    RaoulDuke Registered Member

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    I agree with you here... and disagree. I think this forum is too big to share your main income methods because they'll be dead in a week. Unless they are unsaturatable? (I think I created a word).

    Anyway to add to the thread...
    Newbies that make their first post like this: How can I make money on the internet? or I need to make $50 a day, what's the best way?
     
  17. HenryHavoc

    HenryHavoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Good points, however I think that keeping your niche private is a way to prevent over-saturation (hey, FireFox says it's a word if it's hyphenated!)
     
  18. toonarme

    toonarme Junior Member

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    Or noobs who, for their first post, ask 'I'm looking for super niche blogger scraping genius CS youtube downloader thing, can someone upload it for me?'....

    BTW, if anybody has it, can they upload it for me :rolleyes:
     
  19. wakkaoaka

    wakkaoaka BANNED BANNED

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    what you said is so true. i haet ppl hu spaek lyk dis yA Kn0w? I cant stop reading the thanks thingy and then looking at the first line in your sig though :p
    edit: re upload this thread to mediafire please.
     
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    Last edited: Jan 30, 2009
  20. aliskorn

    aliskorn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Not to poop on your parade but honestly, you are one of the biggest "thank you whores" on bhw :D . You crave attention, that`s why you do all you that you do. How do I know? Well, your first replies to your own threads are usually like "xxx people saw this thread and only x people thank me? I`m so disappointed :( " or "I will not share anymore if no one shows appreciation" . I`m just posting the truth, maybe this will awake you form your "Holier than thou" mindset. You`re an ok guy in my book, anyway, good luck!
     
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    Last edited: Jan 30, 2009