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Trying not to stumble on the tightrope known as the Sorcer's Path

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by pewep, Jun 19, 2015.

  1. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Every once in a while, my relationship with this sacred force known as Magick yields unexpected fruits - perhaps a turn for the sinister, perhaps good fortune rains down on me, perhaps silence. In those moments, I realize that I am lost. I really fundamentally don't know what the fuck I am doing or the kind of monsters I am playing with. How can these beings be so powerful, so intelligent that they can see 5, 10, 15 years into my life? What exactly am I doing?

    Several months ago - last year around October, I was casting a spell and it backfired. I'd rather not get into the details about what exactly I was doing because it's a bit more personal than I care for people to know. Anyway, it didn't work. I noticed some extreme, pronounced changes in the person but the most interesting change was in me. For some reason unknown to me, as I was in my temple that night howling into the great darkness to aid me, I felt my energy draining. Like it was literally getting sucked out of me. Completely. I left my temple absolutely drained like a zombie, all my desire for the spell's success having left me. Usually this would indicate a success as my energy had left me, gained a life of its own and turned into a thought form - a poltergeist - hellbent on accomplishing my will, but not this time.

    I'll admit that I felt quite dejected on my abilities for a while, but as the weeks passed by and I was successful with other spells, I had to revisit this failure to learn from it. Now, I was using the red inverted pentagram and to be frank with you, it kinda scares me. But I think that's mostly subconscious programming that we are all taught from birth. I personally have never felt any sort of sinister emanations coming from it, but then again I don't really know much. I sense a kind of neutrality in it and to be fair, it has helped me tremendously with developing clairvoyance. Now, a couple of weeks ago, I had the great fortune to be fairly lucid while I was traveling out of my physical shell and I immediately went to my closet to look at it. I had the intention of jumping inside of it and seeing what entities lurked within and who exactly was behind its power. I wasn't fully prepared for what I saw.

    In its true form, the red inverted pentagram when charged looks something like a big golden, ornate box. There were 100s of little knobs, bells and whistles on it. Extremely hard to explain but basically it looked like ANYTHING could pop out of it, it was just operator dependent. I was trying to study it when I felt my astral body weakening and shortly thereafter lost consciousness. The important thing I got from it was that it's also a storage box. I can hide/hold VAST quantities of energy. There's only one other object I know that has been able to store that much energy - that's the earth. The earth is used in somatic meditations by Vajrayana buddhists so that during celibacy, they have a way of releasing the huge quantities of heat their bodies are generating. Very curious. I have yet to find a way to release the energy in my pentagram - never mind control it. I'd actually rather not release it in 1 burst because it would almost certainly wreck all kinds of havoc in my life. I am very curious though. I'm curious why I psychically sensed it as a sentient, living, neutral entity but it chose the form of an inanimate box when I went to study it. I don't know, there are so many questions that I have, so many things that I have yet to grasp.

    Playing with magick is kind of like playing cat and mouse with a deity. I can only hope that one day I will look back and understand what the game was all about. I hope that it will all be worth it. I can only pray that I will find my way out of the wilderness. But I guess time will tell.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 19, 2015
  2. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

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    Why not become one and a demon conjourer ? I saw a video where a guy actually summoned a demon and it helped him gain knowledge.
     
  3. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Become a demon? I'm a human being and I like being one lol. I don't really see the benefits of that. Yes, many spirits can teach you things, whether you want to know them or not is an entirely different story.
     
  4. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

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    A demon conjourer is one who summons demons, but it would be cool if to become a demon.
     
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  5. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Oh my bad, didn't understand. Well, why limit yourself I guess would be my question? I know guys who strictly say they are left hand/right hand but that really is much too limiting. The whole point of being a sorc (heh) is to be able to manipulate all of creation - both good and bad - to live the kind of life you want.
     
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  6. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    And actually if you look at the original definition of the pentagram, it literally means "victory of the spirit over matter" - aka ascension. The inverted is the "opposite" but serves the same purpose. The whole spiritual world, not just the good/bad. :D
     
  7. theconscience

    theconscience Regular Member

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    Are you dealing in Black Magik?


    Whats difference between casting a spell and return of Karma?
     
  8. Capo Dei Capi

    Capo Dei Capi BANNED BANNED

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    There are a ton of magick bookshops where I live I may get some books soon.
     
  9. ja1myn

    ja1myn Senior Member

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    OP what in the hell are you talking about?
     
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  10. JustUs

    JustUs Power Member

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    Why don't you take the time to study Magick and Magick in Theory and Practice by Alister Crowley before you pop more fantasies at us. At least then you might be believable.
     
  11. asap1

    asap1 BANNED BANNED

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    Again, you post this on the wrong forum.

    This is a place of business and making money online lol
     
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  12. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Why not seek medical help, preferably from a psychiatrist?
     
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  13. SnoopyDrew

    SnoopyDrew Senior Member

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    Another solid post from Pewep,my god how does he do it?
     
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  14. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    Must be magic!?!
     
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  15. theconscience

    theconscience Regular Member

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    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MahsBn-ucIY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
     
  16. theconscience

    theconscience Regular Member

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  17. T0NYS

    T0NYS Supreme Member

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    well it's lounge so he can share whatever it wants as long as he is OK with the rules , I am not that much into pewps topics but yeah he is fine with that ,
     
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  18. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Of course I'm dealing with black magick. When I was going insane, demons were the first responders at the scene lol, so I kind of owe my loyalty to them. Secondly they just get the job done without any questions about morality. It's funny how when I just kinda want something done, I pray to God/my guardian angel and higher forces but when I REALLY FUCKING NEED something done, I summon demons. They get the job done, no questions, no bullshit, and don't give a fuck about any consequences.

    That's kind of a deep question you asked at the end. I can answer it via pm, not here.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 21, 2015
  19. pewep

    pewep Power Member

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    Just adding to that, it's kind of scary summoning demons because they are willing to do *ANYTHING* to get the job done. One of my friends summoned them to get a day off work and basically the demon flipped over my friend's bosses' car and caused an accident that nearly paralyzed his boss. God damn. You have to be careful with them, only in emergency cases. Because they don't give a single fuck about hurting people. But fyi, they are the most entertaining spirits to summon by far.
     
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  20. Zwielicht

    Zwielicht Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    Pewep, have you ever considered creating a tulpa to talk to about this stuff instead of conjuring demons in your shrine to carnality?
     
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