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Transporting Inmate Today

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Jackalakus, Jan 12, 2012.

  1. Jackalakus

    Jackalakus Junior Member

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    I'm transporting an inmate today. I wish she knew about affiliate marketing instead of identity theft.... So what jokes should I tell this military person on the way to the 'clink'

    I'll be reading your posts at the in-brief on my cell phone. So if I don't respond it doesn't mean I'm not getting your funny jokes...
     
  2. PlatinumPi4u

    PlatinumPi4u Junior Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  3. TeamRoyster

    TeamRoyster Regular Member

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    Let her go!
     
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  4. KraftyKyle

    KraftyKyle Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    You're transporting an inmate and you're trying to think of jokes to tell her?
     
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  5. jonnyquest

    jonnyquest Regular Member

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    Warning Signs You Need A New Lawyer

    Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser

    When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other

    Your lawyer picks the jury by flipping a coin

    Your lawyer tells you that he has never told a lie.
    A prison guard is shaving your head.

    Not mine but still amusing

    JQ
     
  6. Digital_Man

    Digital_Man Registered Member

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    Guy goes to a hooker. Been a while

    They get up to the room, and he takes off his socks, and his toes are messed up.

    The hooker says ? what?s up with your toes?

    He says ?I had toelio when I was a kid

    H- you mean polio?

    M- no see my toes? It was toelio.

    Then the man takes off his pants, and his knees are all messed up.

    H- what happened to your knees?

    M- I had kneasles when I was a teen.

    H- I think you mean measles.

    M- No, it was kneasles..

    Then he takes off his underwear.

    H- Let me guess- you also had small cocks at some point.
     
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  7. SilverSultan

    SilverSultan Regular Member

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    Your trying to Impress any Inmate??? :D lol I would advise against this, even when you and her go out, when she is out, she might clean you out :)
     
  8. Roparadise

    Roparadise BANNED BANNED

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    If she is hot hookup with her,and let her go and say 3 Black Suburbans come up behind the transport vehicle,and 2 more doing a roadblock guys with skimasks on and carrying AK-47's.And demanded that she be let go


    J/K
     
  9. Digital_Man

    Digital_Man Registered Member

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    There is a convention for priests

    These three priests meet for the first time, and in an effort to save money they share a hotel room.

    One priest says- hey lets share with each other what one of our sins are that we fight with

    First guy says - I can't stand to work, so I copy sermons of other pastors

    2nd guy- I can't wait till this is done so I can go gamble all night.

    3rd guy- Gossip is mine and I can't wait to go share all of this.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2012
  10. Digital_Man

    Digital_Man Registered Member

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    Up at the Gates there is a line to get into heaven.

    St Peter is handing out robes bases on what you have done on earth

    The guy in front of a pastor gets the most basic robe.

    Then the pastor goes though and gets a nice robe- to which he is happy

    Then the next guy gets this amazing robe, so the pastor goes to the guy and says, ?what did you do earth??

    The guy says? I was a taxi driver?

    Now the pastor is upset, and goes to ST Peter and says ? hay, I don?t get this I was a pator, that guy was a taxi drive. What?s up with that.?

    St. Peter says ?It turns out he was able to get far more people to pray than you.?
     
  11. Digital_Man

    Digital_Man Registered Member

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    Give her a hooraa from a leg. not that there is any thing good going on - I just want her to keep her chin up. if she was army say it just like that.
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2012
  12. Brainstorming

    Brainstorming BANNED BANNED

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
  13. davids355

    davids355 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Let the bitch go.
     
  14. Digital_Man

    Digital_Man Registered Member

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    A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering.

    The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

    The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner people."

    A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner... NOW!"

    Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

    Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?"

    Pretty good," chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop."
     
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  15. Nick1

    Nick1 Junior Member

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    Pics or stfu.:):naughty:
     
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  16. Digital_Man

    Digital_Man Registered Member

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    Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
     
  17. Digital_Man

    Digital_Man Registered Member

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    A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

    "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
     
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  18. leeboi999

    leeboi999 Junior Member

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    Was walking home the other day from the pub and some prick chucked a block of cheese at me so I shouted that's mature mate init.
     
  19. HoNeYBiRD

    HoNeYBiRD Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  20. oxonbeef

    oxonbeef BANNED BANNED

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    Pull this finger.
     
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