Tiger Woods' Wife Kicks Him To The Curb!

The Scarlet Pimp

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Man! It's just so hard to believe that someone in sports would cheat on their wife, especially since that hardly ever happens in this day and age... :cow_yello

Tiger Woods' Wife Kicks His (Cheating) Ass!

http://gawker.com/5414362/correction-tiger-woods-wife-kicks-his-ass?

Whoops! Last night, everyone was pretty sure Tiger Woods' "Operation: Lovetap" accident was followed by his wife smashing his car's back window to save him.

Looks now like she was doing it to bludgeon him. Scorned lovers, coming up. FORE!

The august news organization known as TMZ reports that the facial lacerations Tiger was found with were reportedly caused by his wife, Elin Nordegren, after she got wind of rumors that Tiger

(A) "....had to pull his putter out of another hole."

(B) "....was getting his balls washed on another course."

(C) "....got busted hitting a new back nine."

(D) "....took a few too many strokes back there."

(E) "....had hired a new caddy to organize his clubs, and that caddy was possibly a hot club promoter, and by 'caddy' we mean 'mistress.' and by 'organize' we mean 'have sex with,' and by 'clubs' we mean 'penis.'"

Take your pick. :D

Basically, they got into an argument, she went all crazypants, beat the shit out of him, he got in his car, she smashed his window, he tried to get away, he backed into a tree and a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up.

We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV ? but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

Another interesting development: there was no blood on the wheel, and Nordegren's been changing her tune for cops, both evidence towards the "scorned wife" theory. Oh, and also, he might've been fucked up on pain pills for his knee. Not, for the record, his Wheaties. Which he clearly didn't have that night. Or if you ask his dick: has been having more than ever!

Maybe, maybe not. According to the woman who he's probably given more than a few mulligans to, not so much. Rachel Uchitel, the woman who Tige's lady thinks is schtupping her man, says the National Enquirer story Woods and his wife probably fought over is bullshit. BlackBook got her on the horn:

I totally deny the Enquirer story. They did contact me about it, but they didn't use any of my quotes or any of the information I gave them. They make it sound like I said those things, but it's all other people saying I said things

Meanwhile, Tiger-style's apparently going to talk to cops today, which will give us a more clear picture on whatever happened, but since Woods lives in one of these insular Florida neighborhoods that protects the livelihood of celebrities first and foremost, and the local news organizations are probably used to kowtowing to said authorities, we're going to have to depend on the reporting of Harvey Levin and Co. to keep us sufficiently updated on this one.

But, basically, the story that's developed is something like this: Tiger's lady went psychotic once rumors of Tiger cheating surfaced, Tiger, trashed on pain pills, tried to escape evil lady's clutches, crashed into fire hydrant and tree.

Awesome.

Any pop culture incident involving celebrities, infidelity, drugs, domestic wife-on-man violence, and car crashes? Come on, it's like celebrities going shopping for you. Personally, I have my own theory as to who's behind all of this madness. This menace must be stopped at once.
 

WizGizmo

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Hello The Scarlet Pimp:

I have to say that your posts remind me very much of a member who has now been banned from BHW for some time. His username was Worldly Panther. No offense . . . Just an observation.

He was always "heralding the latest news" in the Lounge.

"Scarlet Pimp" - "Worldly Panther" . . . Hm-m-m-m-m . . .

"Wiz"
 
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The Scarlet Pimp

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Ha! I'm not the first, or the only one, to post about Woods' exploits. And I truly doubt that WP got banned just for posting something in the lounge. I post things here that I hope people will find interesting or amusing. But one can't please everyone...
 

Paper-Boy

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Man! It's just so hard to believe that someone in sports would cheat on their wife, especially since that hardly ever happens in this day and age... :cow_yello

actually, im pretty there are MANY men in sports who cheat on their wives on the regular.

thanks for the post though.

i just never tiger was this kind of man.
 

MikeHustle

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At least he didn't hit her back. I would have, but I don't love dem ho's.
 

inumel

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Thats crazy and especially how they tried to cover his tracks about the whole situation just. Honestly it just didnt seem right that he randomly hit a fire hydrant and he would be that messed up
 

The Scarlet Pimp

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At least he didn't hit her back. I would have, but I don't love dem ho's.


heh! heh! she chased him out of his own house with a club! he should be working at espn -- he'd fit right in with steve phillips and david berson! :D
 

The Scarlet Pimp

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i just never thought tiger was this kind of man.

i'm with you on that one, he seemed a decent sort. but if this is true it will take a big chunk out of his popularity, especially since cheating is not taken lightly.
 

Paper-Boy

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i'm with you on that one, he seemed a decent sort. but if this is true it will take a big chunk out of his popularity, especially since cheating is not taken lightly.

i do respect him for not hitting his wife.

and i'll never forget the chris brown case. i lol'd so hard. (at him of course)
 

MikeHustle

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Elin use to be a nanny before Tiger 'wife'd' her up... She should be happy with her mansion and 50 million dollar yacht named "privacy". She must have thought like most people do that Tiger's just a golf nerd, but he's a playa.... Look at who his friends are Jordan and Barley... If he didn't already have the proclivity to cheat, hanging around Jordan and Barkley would have influenced him...

Broad needs to peep game...
 
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The Scarlet Pimp

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ha! any woman who thinks that a popular, wealthy athlete is gonna be faithful is out of her mind. these guys are on the same shelf as rock-stars when it comes to the skirts. girls throw themselves at these guys and one can only hold out for so long... :D :D

hang around some good ol' boys with their 'player' mentality and top it off with mucho time away from the wife and... kaboom!!
 

MikeHustle

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sports stars have replaced rock stars! Serious... rock stars have become so pussy over the years. I miss the excess of the 80's: jets, bikes, alcohol, bitches and blow... Musicians now days are too wussy...

He should have her deported!
 

ClThis

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NICE...


It may be because it hit the media, but still, come on...he's bringing her a lifestyle she would have never got with out him. Is it an excuse? I guess not in her case.
 

MikeHustle

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He should get OJ to teach him how to put an ungrateful white bitch in her place... I'm so glad he didn't fight back:)
 
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