Okay, so I posted some escort ads tonight for one of my CPA's, I was sifting through some of the e-mails, and I found this gem - Enjoy! : "You're not bad looking, so I'm guessing your fee per hour might be high - can you let me know? Do you offer a military discount? Do you accept credit cards?... j/k, again.. Also, how is your conception of time? In January, I tried being with a black girl named Brigdette who called herself Jade, and by her conception of time an hour is 40 minutes. Do you have an objection to using a stopwatch, like a taxi meter? I think it could help keeping girls honest. Also, if you are available for the act of love itself, and if we were in the act, would you have an objection to saying a Countdown Warning in a robotic voice -like a NASA space launch or a James Bond underground lair scene: "...10 minutes remaining... 5 minutes remaining." It would be very important for me that you say this with wide open eyes staring at me, with a robotic monotone. Are you good at faking affection? In January, it was my first try with an American working girl, and I was treated so coldly that I couldn't have a climax at all. I know. Too much information. I hope you're not a police woman working undercover. Can you promise me that you're not? And after you promise, can you cross your heart and hope to die? I think that would be enough to secure it as the truth. All right, I think this was a good talk. respectfully, Mike"