This Guy Isn't Having Sex Tonight. But The Reason Why Is Hilarious.

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by iBrazilian, May 8, 2014.

  1. iBrazilian

    iBrazilian Regular Member

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    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight.



     
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  2. wild1

    wild1 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  3. Automated

    Automated Regular Member

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    LOL - did you really do that? For some reason I feel like I've heard this before...
     
  4. JustUs

    JustUs Power Member

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    Rosy Palm and her five daughters; never say no and never fail to satisfy.
     
  5. prlinkssale

    prlinkssale Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Ha Ha.. Thats Funny , No sex For You after this..
     
  6. asap1

    asap1 BANNED BANNED

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    lmao that was funny.

    But for some reason I believe I read this somewhere else before
     
  7. BuildMoreLinks

    BuildMoreLinks Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    thats exactly the reason no one can understand women, I will buy an ebook later tonight.
     
  8. lalit_burma

    lalit_burma Senior Member

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    Thumbs up on behalf of all man

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    And some wild one

    [​IMG]

     
  9. REAL EMAIL ID

    REAL EMAIL ID Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  10. acidol2

    acidol2 Supreme Member

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    LOL. That was a nice ending OP haha.