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The BEST Pizza Ever !!!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Nigel Farage, Aug 28, 2013.

  1. Nigel Farage

    Nigel Farage BANNED BANNED

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    Okay my Blackhat Brothers & Sisters, I am going to share with you my recently perfected recipe for the best G-- D--- pizza EVER. I'm chomping on it right now, and trying to keep the pepperoni grease off my microsoft natural keyboard. This stuff is so good, I just HAVE to share.

    1) One cheap Red Baron (or equivalent) pepperoni pizza.
    2) 1/2 lb. shredded mozzarella cheese
    3) 4 ounces of sliced pepperoni

    Rearrange the original pepperoni so that all the pepperonis are symetrical and look nice. I'm OCD, and this helps make it taste better.

    Spread/sprinkle the mozzarella cheese on top of the cheap, nasty Red Baron pizza.

    Carefully arrange the new pepperoni on top of the new mozzarella so that it looks nice & symetrical More is better. If you have too many, rearrange the ones you have down until there is room. More is better.

    Bake pizza in pre-heated oven at 400 deg. (F) for about 18 minutes until the pizza is done, then turn the Broiler on and let the broiler scorch the cheese & pepperoni until they start to crisp and turn brown. This will take less than 2 minutes, and it will be burnt in 3 minutes, so you have to watch it closely.

    Pull from oven, cut and eat with any kind of store-bought bar-b-que sauce like Open Pit, or whatever. (I have Jack Daniels, but it could be anything.) Dip pizza into bar-b-que sauce puddle on plate, as desired. (A little goes a long way. It's not like ketchup.)

    Total cost: $8.00 or less. I'd pay twice that in a restaurant. Takes less than 30 minutes. Feeds two adults, or one super-fatty.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 28, 2013
  2. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    great tip buddy! i think you better call our resident pizza girl kinlee, she'll definitely dig this one. :)
     
  3. elschlongo

    elschlongo Junior Member

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    I put BBQ sauce on just about everything. This set up you have here sounds delicious. I'm going to have to make a run to the store for supplies.
     
  4. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Jr. VIP

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    I make a similar pizza but add Tabasco and Encona Hot Pepper Sauce.
     
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  5. SPQR

    SPQR Elite Member

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    I will try this next time. Adding extra ingredients to crap pre-product = better than buying a good product to start with! :D
     
  6. keytenx

    keytenx Supreme Member

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    I bet you do have a 2L coke beside it. Imagining this pizza recipes makes me hungry... :(
     
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  7. Duffers5000

    Duffers5000 Elite Member

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    That sounds like a nice sloppy pizza.......However

    The average shop bought basic bacon pizza is usually over 1000 calories of crap to begin with.
    Mozarella is not the worst offender on the cheese/fat front but 1/2 lb runs into 700 calories
    Peperroni is fatty sausage and 4 ounces of that will be a further 550-600 cals

    So basically what you have concocted there is a fucking heart attack on a plate.

    Fat tastes really good to us humans. We are super advanced and cyber connected constantly but we are still controlled by the ancient part of our brain that was formed when we were actual hunter gatherers and went long periods without food. Thats why the brain say "eat lots of this shit, it could be months before we get it again" when we do get our hands on greasy slop like the El Farage Pizza extravaganza.

    Now I like the sound of it but thats a strictly once a month treat.

    As you get older you can hear your heart telling you its ok or not. I have taken a liking to 3 slices of lightly grilled rye bread. I top this with several sliced Tomatos, A finely chopped onion, Several sliced Jalapenos or equivalent chillis(scotch bonnet if I am feeling like I have an asbestos mouth) A good sprinkling of freshly ground black pepper, a thin dust of rock salt and a drip of virgin olive oil. Put that under the grill and have a filling meal that comes in around 350 calories.
     
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  8. UrsuAke

    UrsuAke Power Member

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    Can we have a spoonfeed on that method Farage? I can't seem to get it right...

    Btw, I made a response thread here, for fellow BHW members who want a healthier alternative, yup, Duffers, you too :)
     
  9. lmxftw

    lmxftw BANNED BANNED

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    did this once... it was like getting a blowjob from a massage that had an orgasm