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The 40 Facts of Life That Porn Has Taught Us

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by The Scarlet Pimp, Jun 6, 2010.

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  1. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Senior Member

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    The 40 Things PORN Has Taught Us All

    1. Women wear high heels to bed.

    2. Men are always rock-hard and ready to go.

    3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

    4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not
    scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

    5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

    6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

    7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

    8. Women always orgasm when men do.

    9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

    10. All women are noisy lays.

    11. People in the 70's couldn't shag unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

    12. Those tits are real.

    13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

    14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

    15. If there are two of them they will high-five each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

    16. Double penetration makes women smile.

    17. Asian men don't exist.

    18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't have even the slightest problem with you jamming your dick in his girlfriend's mouth.

    19. There's a plot.

    20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

    21. Nurses suck patient's dicks regardless of why they're in the hospital.

    22. Men always pull out.

    23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before screwing the both of you.

    24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

    25. When a woman is sucking a man's dick, it's important for him to remind her to suck it.

    26. Assholes are always clean.

    27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

    28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a dick inside.

    29. Men don't have to beg.

    30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

    31. Every guy has a penis as big as Peter North's.

    32. All women are completely bald.

    33. Women really don't mind being picked up off the street and then banged by two guys in a moving van.

    34. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.

    35. Any other girl is a MILF.

    36. 19-year-old virgins somehow know, and can perform, *every* trick in the book.

    37. When a guy takes his pants off, keys will never fall out of his pocket.

    38. Lesbians do nothing in the afternoon because they don't have jobs.

    39. All women look like Vogue models, even if they deliver pizza for a living.

    40. All women have beautiful girlfriends who are into 3-ways and only visit in small groups.
     
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  2. Dark Knight

    Dark Knight Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    lol where did you got this info :speechles
     
  3. seosutra

    seosutra Regular Member

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    Did you compose this ? Good one !!
     
  4. blackboxer

    blackboxer Regular Member

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    hahaha, thanks for the laugh

    I found this one funny
     
  5. jheyslow

    jheyslow BANNED BANNED

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    I'm glad you share to us, what you have learn. lol...
     
  6. scriptaty

    scriptaty Regular Member Premium Member

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    Cool Man!!! All the 40 things are great. Well I have learned them too. hehe
     
  7. xyberk

    xyberk Junior Member

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    Hehehe. Bravo!
     
  8. Alex0808

    Alex0808 Junior Member

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    Op is spot on.
     
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  9. PinguSpy

    PinguSpy Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Watch this series
    A story about one man build porn studio company in Japan

    Funny though

     
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  10. menacer

    menacer Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Haha! I'm not sure why I ended up here tbh but that got me laughing.
     
  11. AdSpyglass

    AdSpyglass BANNED BANNED

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    lol, cool list. Didn't find "never give up" one:D
     
  12. back2basics

    back2basics Power Member

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    41. All adult step siblings live together and also still with their parents and will fuck as soon as the coast is clear.
     
  13. ContentExpert

    ContentExpert Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Nice, a 9-yeard-old thread bump. :)
     
  14. sabujdc

    sabujdc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    excellent :p:cool::D
     
  15. mikey29

    mikey29 Regular Member

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    best bump I seen in a long time
     
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  16. davids355

    davids355 Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    When talking about an event that happened 10 years ago, I would suggest using the past participle (was).

    Best not to bump very old and inactive threads unless you are really offering some new value.

    Thread closed.
     
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