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tell your fav joke thread

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by proxygo, Jul 24, 2013.

  1. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    ok hears mine

    why doe lieutenant uhura smell so bad.?
    because william shatner :D
     
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  2. Trepanated

    Trepanated Supreme Member

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    A woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre.

    So the barman gave her one.
     
  3. sn0rt

    sn0rt Elite Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  4. SkyrocketSEO

    SkyrocketSEO Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Musclteen walks into the bar
    He asks for a photo makeover
    He gets 100s
     
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  5. TheArticleMan

    TheArticleMan Power Member

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    " Please you send me paypal money clicking bot, mny thx, no scam "
     
  6. SmileAtmyWins

    SmileAtmyWins BANNED BANNED

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    "Hi, yes I'd like to rank for 1 million + Seach volume keyword. I have small budget. $50 is a lot of money to me, plz don't scam me"
     
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  7. alaltaierii

    alaltaierii Supreme Member

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    A classic one: :)

    Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
    The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
    He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?".
    The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
    There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
    Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
     
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  8. MachineLord

    MachineLord Supreme Member

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    Yo mama so stupid she put paper on the TV and called it paper view!
     
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  9. HaiiroNeko

    HaiiroNeko Power Member

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    Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves. :D
     
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  10. Schvamp

    Schvamp Power Member

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    A good one:

    Once it was a woman, who's husband worked in the armey, so he visited her max 2 times a year... so after a while... she begun to miss the sex, so she went to a dildo-store, to buy a vibrator.

    In the shop, it was alot of vibrators... and the woman was new on this area, so she asked a man who worked in the store, he showed her a glass vibrator, and said "this is a very good vibrator, but if it breaks... it will hurt alot", so they whent to another, but she couldnt find one she liked... after a while she saw a wooden box who was on a table, and she asked "whats in that box?", and the man answered, "this is a magic vibrator, just say "magic vibrator, and then the area u want to be vibrated", she thaught that sounded nice, so she bought it...

    while she was driving home, she took up the vibrator and said "magic vibrator, my shoulders", and it started vibrating her shoulders... after a while she felt so good, so she screamed "MAGIC VIBRATOR, MY PUSSY!!!" and it started vibrating her pussy, then she got an orgasm, and crashed into a car... when the police arrived, he asked here "why did u crash into the car?" and she answered "well.... i bought this magic vibrator... and i made it vibrate my shoulders.. and after a while.. i made it vibrate my pussy, then i got an orgasm and crashed into the car...", then the police laughed and said "hahaha, magic vibrator... my ass!
     
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  11. KELLOGGS

    KELLOGGS Supreme Member

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    Yo mumma so stupid she stared at an orange juice carton cos it said concentrate.
     
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  12. HaiiroNeko

    HaiiroNeko Power Member

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    The thing about yo mama jokes is that they have been done a thousand times by a thousand different people... just like your mama. :D
     
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  13. Leith

    Leith Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    1- Ironic how the biggest wanker in the UK wants to block online porn.

    2- I told my son that if anybody ever tries to take his lunch money at school then he should headbutt them. The twat was sent home today for breaking the dinner lady's nose.
     
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  14. KELLOGGS

    KELLOGGS Supreme Member

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    Stop right there for a second. Yo mumma is known as the vacuum cleaner cos she sucks, she blows and gets laid in a cupboard.
     
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  15. HaiiroNeko

    HaiiroNeko Power Member

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    That one is great, you win :D:congrats:
     
  16. toughtrasher

    toughtrasher Senior Member

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    At least when his momma steps on the weighing scale it doesn't say "To be continued"
     
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  17. SmileAtmyWins

    SmileAtmyWins BANNED BANNED

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    All of yo mamas so fat they put their lipstick on with a paint roller.
     
  18. Patel

    Patel Senior Member

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    Yo momma so stupid she types the URL in the search bar
     
  19. GreenGoblin

    GreenGoblin BANNED BANNED

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    What's the difference between a drug dealer and a Prostitute?

    A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it!
     
  20. dismantle

    dismantle Newbie

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    There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears.
     
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