As this is the most discussed topic lately, the new update from Matt Cutts stirred some panic into the minds of IM'ers. But what did Matt Cutts really say?! As usual, close to nothing... But hey, that's his job, his role at Google is to dissimulate and detour people from the truth, much as any elected official. I had some free time today, really listened to the video and I have some conclusions to share. Bare with me because this is going to be a long post and hopefully entertaining. I know it's a long post because I'm writing this sentence after I finished the post, badass, I know! Again, I'll share the video here, so to inform the few people who have no clue what this is all about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQmQeKU25zg So let's break down the main things the baboon said: 1) Introduction, yadda yadda, I is Matt Cutts and I has many monkey in my papal.. I has blog ranking good in Google... yadda yadda and here comes a bit of info: My take on that: Spoken like a true politician mr. Matty. Overlooking the fact that this dude should take a grammar course I interpret that he told us: a) bookmarks will be better ranking factors than they're now - this resource can be spammed, I highly doubt that he wasn't lying. He could've said that traffic coming to your site from bookmark sites would help in ranking you, or maybe if you bookmark the bookmarks and make friends view and comment on them, the bookmarks will rank you better. D'oh! b) Behavioral user factors will offer us better rankings and higher authority. The factors he spoke about are: recurring visits or as he said as a true specialist that he is "come back to, visit over and over again, you know.. all the things that make a site compelling" , dirrect traffic, bounce rate, branding. Nothing new under the sun mr. Cuntts. You've warned us about this factors already and guess what?! It doesn't really matter unless you're full white hat, oh and yeah, your method is more costly than grey hat SEO. 2) - meaning they have no idea what the update will REALLY be about or WHEN it will be launched. 3) LMFAO!! This I really want to breakdown... WOW, great for you, you've kicked us in the head with that precious information. And by the way mr. Cutts sir, advertorials are articles with links in them that point to external sites and internal pages, you know, umm, err, like, umm, like 90% of the articles posted on the internet maybe?!?! No way... you've seen a few sites in the US and around the world that take money for posting links and the links pass page rank?! DAFUQ!!! That's outrageous! Next thing, you'll tell us that you've seen sites that take money for sending traffic to other sites too!! What did this world come to!?!? This is the quintessence of public speaking 101. You've expressed your thoughts like a champ Mr. Butts. Rocky couldn't have said that better: Tho mr. Cutts has difficulties speaking, he also said that if you write an article with links to other sites, then you should clearly state that the articles are paid for and yadda yadda. That's probably how Google will correctly identify advertorials from normal blog posts or articles: if it's written in the body of the article something like "this article is paid for, potato" then they'll classify that backlink as "advertorial, no linkjuice, no authority". Maybe they'll add this to schema.org as well... something like itemprop="potato">this is an advertorial< Right, let's push on through the shit wave... 3) This quote is a gem, it really is, I'll break this down a bit further too: I bet you do, and it's all coming from BHW ain't it?! Also, please note that the next time a rotten tomato comes flying in through the window, don't eat and see it as a treat but rather a sign of disgust in your work, ok mr. Cutts? Oh really?! And only on google.co.uk?! And only for the term "payday loans"? Hmm, how about the term "10 horses butthump your momma"? Isn't that query spammy too? Mr. Cutts, aren't you really telling us with this affirmation that you have no clue whatsoever how to deal with spam niches? What's your solution to that? Take down the sites that are in the first 3 pages of SERP and replacing them with "authority" sites that buy your other Google products? Like perhaps the data management system Google offers for large companies?! 4) This, this is, wow, I have no comment on that... it's groundbreaking news... "Armstrong landed on the moon" groundbreaking like... 5) You guessed it, more breakdowns: If you pull this off then it could be a good thing, but I doubt we'll see that implemented in GWT this year. Whoaa!! Easy there Grandmaster Flash, don't get so excited. 6) You guessed it! Breakdown time! Yuup, we've seen that too mister. We know the domains in question too: Amazon, Ebay, Wallmart... And you forgot to mention that the sites are in the first page as well for that query. So what you're really saying is that, Amazon and Ebay don't like having that much results from the third page onwards? And your solution is to add the "cluster" to the first page, did I understood correctly mr. Cutts?! So we'll have the first page packed with url's from Amazon but we'll be less likely to see more results from that site once we go deeper into the next pages? Wow, the feud lord is really generous to us peasants, he lets us fight for the "next pages" and will reserve the first page for the top dogs. Sweet! How come only presidents and government officials get assasinated?! Really, how come?! So, the conclusion we should take is that the baboon is wearing a Firefox t-shirt. Really, that's the only conclusion you should have after seeing this video. To exemplify further, please note that the colors of the firefox logo are grey (grey isn't a color I know) and the t-shirt itself is black. Grey means death and of course, that metaphorically suggests the assasination of Mozilla Firefox by the coward Google Chrome (yes, I know, refference to the Brad Pitt movie) and the blackness of the t-shirt either means Matt Cutts is getting fatter and black as we know makes you look thin, or is another metaphore to the abyss Firefox is falling in. Oh yeah, I forgot, another important conclusion is that Gengis Khan was a better and more litterate public speaker than Matt Cutts. Now I have a question for you people: What is SEO?