So... What has a Screenwriter gotta do to get his/her work out there?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by The_Cat_In_The_Hat, Jan 8, 2015.

  1. The_Cat_In_The_Hat

    The_Cat_In_The_Hat Registered Member

    Feb 7, 2012
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    Nowhere man!!!

    Okay, so there are a thousand-and-one platitudes to answer the question posed in the thread title. We all know the answer. Work hard, work harder, work even harder and finally you may get your break. I'm sure most of us, in general, would agree that in order to get what you want, you need to just plough ahead, keep going and either you will get better, get seen, or... Well, just get.

    Just to get some fundamentals out of the way, I am not in any way condoning the measures taken by the forth-mentioned and I am in no way responsible or linked to anyone mentioned within the body of this message.

    First off, there's this Screenwriter and as if British isn't being hard enough in this game, this Screenwriter could easily be one of the cast of the Boys from the Black Stuff. He's mostly been into acting, directing, theatre, writing, comedy and plenty of other fruitless endeavours for most of his adult life. He has his qualifications and Scholarships, he pays his taxes and... He helps his landlady carry out her garbage. He's Dyslexic, but that doesn't matter, because at the end of the day, there's only a few things worse than being Dyslexic in the arts, and to name a few would be to name one too many.

    Aside of the fact that he's had a few short films do the rounds here and there, a few plays under his belt, he is pretty much a jobbing creative. As with many industries out there, the arts, TV and Film - Well, it can be a pretty closed circle if you haven't got a good name, good connections, cash, or... Well this buzzword that is about as foggy as an elevator filled with curry farts; that buzzword being 'Talent'.

    Now I'm not going to get into the debate about Talent. I'm sure we all have our own viewpoints on what Talent is, but I would say that it is a myriad of different elements that propel the ability of the said person to do his or her job. Others may have their own ideas, but that is the beauty of it all, we're all Talented in our own ways, and we all respect Talent, for what it is, in different ways. At least, that's my view on it. I don't buy into the notion that you are born Talented in a particular field, I think we are all just born Talented. Then education shapes us and certain events in our childhood tailor our Talent, and time served, we become better at our chosen field; then and only then, other people label us as Talented. We're born, we do something we're good at, we make money, we take shit, we take more shit, we die. Add to that what you please, but the only thing I personally would add to that is that somewhere in there we try to use our Talent to get laid, have a kid, and then try to shape his or her Talent to give our dithering old life some meaning. Herein the end of the rant.

    Anyhow, this Screenwriters Talent has been, and has always been, writing bollocks. Any old bollocks. He has penned poetry, music, lyrics, commands into Commodore 64 adventure games, love letters, diaries, journals, smut, graffiti, and he has even jotted the occasional joke that don't make any sense at all.

    Witness, if you will:

    What do you call a Brown Greyhound?

    A Brownhound.

    Q.E.D I think.

    (Okay, so I think that didn't work...) :rolleyes:

    So, this Screenwriter...

    Quite recently we have all seen the S0ny Leaks that have sprung up around the internet. Now this specific Screenwriter thinks that this may in fact be the biggest film-related farce of all time. He thinks that these leaks are nothing but a newfangled marketing ploy to shift along some terribly botched productions, that haven't fared well in pre-screenings. We all know that production companies push back their woeful productions to January/February because it's essentially black-space, or what is called 'Dump Months'. Just after Christmas, everyone is skint, no-one wants to go and take his girlfriend to the pictures and try the old cock-popcorn trick..... You get the idea. The said Screenwriter knows that there isn't really much evidence to prove this and he would be the first to admit, that it's a conspiracy theory. He knows that there is a 99.9% chance that it's absolute twaddleshit.

    However, what the Screenwriter saw was opportunity. If there was a way that he could write a first draft for a confirmed S0ny project, he could possibly (with the help of some Blackhat techniques) spread the Screenplay within the internet; in order to stick it to the man, get his work out in the world, piss some people off and hope that S0ny get off their arses and turn up at his door, take him to a warehouse somewhere in Montreal, strip him naked and beat him senseless with a wet turd. But also, the story for which the Screenwriter has worked on (for four days flat out), is quite close to his heart and he thinks with a little guidance, that he could possibly do the source material (A well known Scandinavian Novel), some justice. (In his own opinion - of course).

    But... the Screenwriter is perhaps a little unsure of what direction he should take with regard to steps forward; vis-a-vis, best places to 'publish', tricks he may use, hats he may use or avenues to exploit...

    So, I guess the question that I put to you good fellows is, what would you do, within the context above, if you were the above mentioned Screenwriter?

    The Guy Who Played With Fire asks for the best brand of matches, gasoline and combustible materials.
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2015