1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

So I went to the dentist today...

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by PizzaButt, Aug 9, 2017.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    J F. Christ man....

    For your information, mates, despite all the pizzas and beer consumption I always brush, floss, and took superb care of my teeth. My pearlie whites are shinier than oiled ass cheeks. In fact, for the past 2 years I never suffered any tooth decay that even my dentist told me to keep it up.

    So just last night when I was flossing before getting to bed I notice there was a crack-like line at one of my molar tooth (the back tooth). So I decided to head to my dentist's office today.

    Boy, she was hot. I told her that my heart has a cavity that only she can fill. She facepalmed and told me to get to the chair. So I did. And I told her, "So are you gonna be on top?" She facepalmed again.

    So anyway, as she inspects my teeth she told me the bad news. "You have a cracked tooth syndrome". I was like, "Huh? What's that?"

    She explained to me in simple terms. To put it simply, it is like a fractured tooth that caused the crack. She told me the cause is usually from biting foods that are too hard. Then I recall, fuck, must be those Russian delicacies I had recently. It is those oily fish in vaccum-sealed packets. Boy are they delicious if you have it with beer or vodka. So fuck, seems that that tooth fell like Stalin's statue.

    Then she told me the other bad news. "You have a very hard clench. So your bite strength is tough."

    I told her yeah, of course, with all the retards I had to deal and I'm a dumb fuck magnet that seem to always attract dumb fucks... of course I am stressed most of the time, thus the strong bite force.

    "So yeah, you need a crown."

    I was like, "What? Am I knighted? A fucking King now? King of Nigeria?"

    She said a tooth crown. Filling is out of the question as she doesn't know how bad the crack is. And because of my bite strength, the filling would fail too sooner or later. So a crown.

    Then I told her, "Well... okay... why not."

    "Erm, but not the porcelain kind. Porcelain crowns are weak. And like I said, your bite strength is brutal and even the porcelain crown will fail sooner or later. So.... you need metal."

    WHAT? WHAT IS THIS? A ROLE PLAY FOR PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN? AM I JACK SPARROW AS YOU RIDE MY SHIP NOW?

    I contemplated over and over... she said she will proceed with the tooth trimming first.

    So as my tooth gets drilled over and over (which I should be drilling her and 'filling' her up) I think to myself.. fuck.. it's gonna be metal... fucking silver metal... it's gonna be hideous...

    Then it's done. She put a temporary crown over and asked me what's my decision.

    I jokingly replied, "Jeez wheez... metal... damn... what about gold?"

    "Yes, that can do too. Why not? But it is pricey as gold prices are high now. In fact, gold crowns for back molars are good choices because gold crowns are proven to be strong and can last nearly a lifetime. That is why gold crowns were popular in dentistry in the past, before people start worrying about its anesthetics."

    Jesus lady... an absolute misfire thinking it was a joke but she replied seriously. So I asked the cost.

    "Probably about $2-3K. It really depends and I can't give you the exact quote. We had to submit the patty model of your tooth to the lab and they will analyze it. Once they analyze it they have to mix the composition of alloys like gold, platinum, and so forth. And they won't know till it is done. Could be lots of gold used, and could be less. It really depends. But usually it is $2-3K."

    Damn, I was thinking.. gold... it isn't about anesthetics now. It is about durability. And hey, if gold prices go up I will be smiling. And if gold prices drop, my teeth will drop.

    Then she tells me, "Also, there are gold fillings too. And you had a old crown near the upper right canine tooth, yes? If you want, you can even get a gold crown for that."

    Fuck, is this lady trying to upsell me like Internet Marketing gurus or what. I told her, "Nah, only the back molars get the gold treatment." She chuckled. Then I told her, "And well, they're still well. IF there are any issues with them in future, I will get them a new crown. But still porcelain of course." She agreed and backed my idea.

    So yeah... PizzaButt is gonna get a gold crown. Not because PizzaButt is trying to be cool by emulating rapper's or African-American gangsters. Rather, due to its strength and lifetime membership like FollowLiker's life-time license (just hope there won't be a monthly maintenance for my case).

    Thank you for reading. You probably wasted 5 minutes of your life reading this. If you chuckled like the dentist, then awesome!

    Now go order a pizza.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 5
  2. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2015
    Messages:
    5,173
    Likes Received:
    2,392
    Occupation:
    blog creator
    Location:
    UK
    Did you not resell bhw services to her, offer to build a website, opportunities everywhere
     
  3. gawsig

    gawsig Newbie

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    110
    Pics or it didn't happen
     
  4. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Jesus. Didn't you read? Ugh... no clench, no clench, no clench! Zen... Zen... Ohmmmmm..... peace of mind, peace of mind.

    They did have a dentist website and such. And from her stream of clients, I doubt she even needs somemore clients.

    By the way, is it true that UK's dentistry is expensive as fuck? So are dental insurance?

    I saw this video recently:



    And hey, India's streetside dentist are pretty cool too:

     
  5. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2015
    Messages:
    5,173
    Likes Received:
    2,392
    Occupation:
    blog creator
    Location:
    UK
    We do have nhs dentists, private is expensive especially in my area
     
  6. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Damn, that's good to hear, pal.

    By the way, I find your country's prime minister pretty hot. Damn, I can drill and fill her all day. Her elegance and beauty has no boundaries.

    She's so sweet looking I could get diabetes. Her elegance makes diamonds look like coal. Her smile can resurrect a withering flower.

    If I'm in UK for my next vacation, I will be at 10 Downing Street with binoculars, an easel with the finest canvas and painting materials. I wish to paint her up and put it at my home and worship her with candles and lavender incense sticks. If I ever meet my God, I would tell Him she's His finest creation.

    Whence has such angelic beauty ever step into office. Whence has such angel ever ensnared me. She's in my thoughts during the day, in my dreams when I sleep. Thou my beauty, O my meaning of life. She gave me a reason to live. Alas, she's married and we're apart far away. I'm curse to live in misery without her close presence. As I daydream of snuggling and kissing her, her husband is doing it in reality. O the pain. O the cruel side of love.

    Farewell!
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2017
  7. Asayus

    Asayus Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2016
    Messages:
    129
    Likes Received:
    44
    Location:
    Procrastination Nation
    Have you thought about starting a GoFundMe page for your gold tooth? Should offset some of the costs!
     
  8. blogzandstuff

    blogzandstuff Elite Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2015
    Messages:
    5,173
    Likes Received:
    2,392
    Occupation:
    blog creator
    Location:
    UK
    Unfortunately can't talk politics on here, so a very short conversation lol!
     
  9. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks my fellow brothers!

    Well, it is okay. Thankfully I still have a chunk of moolahs from my old ventures. So no biggie on paying it upfront.

    The only unfortunate thing is as I'm self-employed (like most internet marketers here) I need to pay upfront in cash, right out of Pizza Butt's cashier machine.

    Ouch! But it is okay... Theresa May's portrait puts me at ease.
     
  10. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    t2.jpg
     
  11. t0mmy

    t0mmy Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    6,568
    Likes Received:
    13,918
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Spain
    Home Page:
    [​IMG]
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  12. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    N... NO.. NOOOO...

    *sigh* unzips pants.
     
  13. redarrow

    redarrow Elite Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2013
    Messages:
    4,305
    Likes Received:
    984
    cracked tooth syndrome 《《《《《wtf
     
  14. t0mmy

    t0mmy Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    6,568
    Likes Received:
    13,918
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Spain
    Home Page:
    [​IMG]
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  15. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Yo fat boy, do you even google? It's an actual term:
    http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=cracked+tooth+syndrome
     
  16. PizzaButt

    PizzaButt BANNED BANNED

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    45
    Gender:
    Male
    Ugh... I will leave that one for extreme horny days. Thanks, chap.
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  17. malky66

    malky66 Registered Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2011
    Messages:
    97
    Likes Received:
    95
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    England
    giphy.gif
     
  18. blinggam

    blinggam Newbie

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2017
    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    ??????????????????????????
     
  19. AryabhattZero

    AryabhattZero Power Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2015
    Messages:
    763
    Likes Received:
    296
    now what the fuck was this
     
  20. silverleafy

    silverleafy Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

    Joined:
    May 31, 2015
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    119

    True go to an indian street dentist :D
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.