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So I found out my boyfriend was faking cancer.....

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by moonie, May 18, 2012.

  1. moonie

    moonie Regular Member

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    Yeah, you read that right.

    For one ENTIRE year, I was upset. I was there for him EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. He would talk to me on the phone crying that he was in pain and that he was gonna die soon. He was so upset about how he won't be able to live his life. He would snap at me. Be rude to me. And get a little rough (he never hit me, thank god) and I would get scared. And when I asked him WHY he snapped at me, why he was rude or getting rough, he would cry and say sorry but it was the cancer treatments doing it to him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because who would fucking fake cancer?

    This January, he told me had until March to live and was gonna give up after a year of fighting. I cried and wept thinking that I was going to lose him.

    For one year, I did EVERYTHING this fucker asked of me. I was there, loved him, took care of him and would hold him as he friggin wept.

    Then I began to get suspicious of somethings. I sniffed around and found some of the right contents and they confirmed that not only was he faking cancer but he was also cheating on me with this whore who helped him relapse into drugs. His "cancer surgeries" and "treatments" were rehab sessions for heroin and alcohol.

    When I confronted him and told him I know everything, he still wouldn't admit it. He instead said "I think YOU are so mentally insane and unstable that you make up fake people (like his other girlfriend) to solve your insanity. I think I should leave you alone until you recover. When you recover, I can tell you what facts are."

    Says the guy who was tied down in rehab and still is. He even told me had to fly to Seattle for this special cancer doctor. His trip to Seattle was actually being forced to be tied down to a bed in rehab. Heh.

    Needless to say, I spend a lot of my time weeping. I don't think it is because I lost him (what a piece of shit) but because I am reminded of how cruel this world can be and IS. I am SUCH a nice woman and I am the type to give my EVERYTHING to not just my partner but my friends too. Why did this happen? I have no idea but I guess all I can do is cry and let it out of my system and move on.

    The worse part is the blame game. The teams are me vs me. I hate myself for falling for this. I saw the signs and watched and when I was brave enough, I went behind his back to find what I sought. And boy did I find out it out. I found out so much more. Honestly, I still am teary eyed.

    Hugs anyone? I could use many. :grouphug:

    Boy, what a lesson learned I am so angry. It feels like my heart bleeds grief.
     
  2. illfounded21

    illfounded21 Senior Member

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    Sayyyy whaaaaat?!

    Wow, I really hope you a right about him cheating. That is unbelievably low from him, you shouldn't beat yourself up- who in their right mind would think someone would be faking something like that.

    I would have believed it too if I was with someone who said that, don't be too hard on yourself. Focus now on moving on, hopefully one day you will laugh about it.
     
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  3. seontist

    seontist Registered Member

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    Damn dude thats LOW...
     
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  4. moonie

    moonie Regular Member

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    You have no idea. I try not to be hard on myself but I am. Like WTF just happened? I felt like such a bitch for even suspecting him. And yeah, he has been cheating on me. You hope I am right about it?

    I dont know if I can ever look back and laugh but maybe just not hurt as much. Honestly, I still cant even process my thoughts. I think I am like in denial/grieving.
     
  5. illfounded21

    illfounded21 Senior Member

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    As in, if you find out he really does have cancer, that will be far worse.
     
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  6. JESSCON

    JESSCON Regular Member

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    He is dumb to call that on himself. He obviously does not understand the energy of the universe. Some call it karma, some call it positive energy but what ever it is he is dumb....really really dumb...to call that sickness on himself.
     
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  7. Checkmate

    Checkmate Elite Member

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    This doesn't make sense how can you not know he was faking?

    If he was going to "give up" then I'm sure he would of been really sickly looking and weak.

    Why have you never talked to his family about him having cancer as a GF I'm sure you know them..
     
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  8. OldSalt

    OldSalt Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Ok Moonie,

    I want you to take a calendar and circle the date you found out, or today... and then circle the day 3 months from that day... and between now and then, cry, stomp up and down, write out your feelings, or whatever helps you get through the days, the hours, the minutes...

    and then by the time you get to that day 3 months from now, you will look back and wonder what you ever saw in such a loser and be able to move on. You'll feel better about the days when you get up, you'll feel better about who you are when you go to sleep and most importantly, you'll look at other people and realize it was that loser that did what he did - it was HIS fault, not yours.

    You're gonna be ok, it's just going to take some time for your head to deal with his crap and for your heart to heal - but they will. Just give them the 3 months.

    Take care and remember, one day, one hour or even one minute at a time - you'll be fine.
     
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  9. EliteIM

    EliteIM Junior Member

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    sorry to hear siso.it must be hard for you right now :/ but we all came to this world alone ,some day we will left this world alone,we dont get to leave with things we loved,but i believe we leave this world with good an bad we have done,now you have done a very good thing of taking care of him,even he didn't had a cancer , don't regret it that you have took care of him.just look foreword to your life to find a good man who love's you.
     
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  10. CEPI

    CEPI Power Member

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    What a fucking ass-pipe! This falls DIRECTLY under fully clinically defined SOCIOPATH! Steer clear and do your best to recover from that trauma. Always keep in mind that not every man acts as he did, and hopefully your heart will be cared for properly in the future.
     
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  11. billsfan2012

    billsfan2012 Regular Member

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    He is a horrible person. It takes a lot to fake a terminal disease in front of someone who TRULY loves you. Then again, many drug addicts are only a shell of their former selves... it is a shame... hard to judge the actions of a drug addict because everything revolves around their addiction
     
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  12. themidiman

    themidiman Power Member

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    Sociapath:

    "...a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood."
     
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  13. ddvv84

    ddvv84 Regular Member

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    So is he telling everyone that he has cancer? or just you? I'm sure he has a fb page and you on it also, does he tell his friends or family about this cancer thing? You can play this if you want to have some fun. Get everyone all interested and into him being a cancer patient, then when they are all "goey" for him, you drop the bomb. Tell his family what is going on, try to get access to his records....
    I mean if you want to just forget and move on then go ahead, but me..... i'd have a LOT of fun with this cause in the end no one would like him or her...

    OOhh yea, i have another great idea, write this on reddit... them people will take care of this quickly.
     
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  14. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    He who laughs last, laughs longest.
    He obviously has mental problems, no one in their right mind would do something so dreadful. I feel sorry not for you but for him, for his useless self. You'll get over it and be fine, but he, he's got a serious problem. You should definitely take a break and spend some time trying to get over this, don't try figuring out why or what for he did this as you'll end up depressing yourself over something that you shouldn't be.

    I hope you'll get over this soon and all the best to you. :hug:
     
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  15. moonie

    moonie Regular Member

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    This is such an amazing idea. I went out a couple days ago and bought a diary. I figured I could write on my laptop but a diary is more personal and my own handwriting. Something to reflect on. Plus I dont wanna ruin the laptop with all these fucking tears.

    And the amazing thing is that he doesnt care one bit. My good friend heard from him the other day and he says he is doing "great'. When she asked him about how his cancer was, he stopped replying.
     
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  16. moonie

    moonie Regular Member

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    Since we are Indian, we are not allowed to date. Therefore we could not talk to each others families. And yes, he told my friend and sister he had cancer. And his mom. Who knows what? He is such a liar.

    And about reddit, I am working on a youtube video. I had a breakdown and kinda recorded a vlog because I dont know...I just did. I just never put it up. I thought it would be amazing if it went viral and if he got whiff of it. I guess I dont know what to do because I am in such an emotional state of mind.

    I honestly never knew the feeling of sinking to my knees. But that day when I found out, I sank to my knees on the floor at school and began sobbing. Deans and staff came out of their offices to hug me. Even some random students walking by stopped and hugged me. It was very sweet of them but it doesnt erase the pain.

    I am very much considering the youtube video though. It has been a dream of mine to make something go viral. What do you mean people will take care of it on reddit? I have not been there before. I have just been so messed up. This even messed up my IM and grades.
     
  17. wpbacklinks

    wpbacklinks Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Your BF should be BANNED!

    Seriously, you gave everything to him?
     
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  18. moonie

    moonie Regular Member

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    I meant like I gave him everything in terms of my heart, soul and spirit.

    Things you can't price with money.
     
  19. ddvv84

    ddvv84 Regular Member

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    So send his family a anonymous mail stating how sorry you(doesn't have to be you) feel about their son having cancer. That is is going around the area that he has cancer and we are all holding on tight for him.... Make a nice sad letter to his family. If they are religious indians as you say cause you cant be going out with him, they will beat the living crap out of him. :)

    Actually nvm, i read you said he told his mom also..
    Don't really know how she can't find out that he has cancer. It is family and hospitals/doctors will tell her what ever she wants to know.

    If you HAVE 100% prof that he is going to rehab, then put that prof in a letter and send it out to his mom. Once again he's going to get beat heavily!!! =-]
     
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    Last edited: May 18, 2012
  20. neutralhatter

    neutralhatter Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Never cry wolf.....

    Sorry to hear your story..; unfortunately there are some low lifes out there like that....

    Thing is, you now know you where a good person.....

    You can look yourself in the mirror in the morning ......

    May sound strange but you probably have a total of 70-75 years in life on average.... so 1,5% was a hard life lesson....; now spend another 1,5% enjoying life before commiting!
     
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