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Should I disown my family?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Chronos, Apr 15, 2011.

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Should I disown my family?

  1. Yes

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  2. No

    0 vote(s)
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  1. Chronos

    Chronos Junior Member

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    I had just graduated high school in the August, 2008. I needed to make money. I had just graduated high school and wanted to pay off college, as my dad did not offer to pay for any of it. Keep in mind, he helped my brother with his college tuition, gave him a weekly allowance, and even paid for his cell phone for. I had a minimum wage job, but it wasn't enough. I decided to get into internet marketing because I figured I could combine my basic knowledge of HTML and PHP with business, to create a profitable operation. I did what seems like thousands of hours of research in the summer of 2008. Day and night I sat on the computer learning to 'make money online.' In September of '08 I decided to give it a go and launch a few small projects in different areas of internet marketing, and see where the most money is and go from there. All this while, my family consisting of my dad and brother are doubting me. They were so negative because I quit my full-time, low paying job in order to focus on college and my online venture. I can cite that my brother laughing at me and saying, "You're an idiot, get a real job." and my dad saying, "You should just focus on school, and this internet thing is stupid."

    At first they were right. I failed alot. However, the projects were small and therefore required very little capital. I seen hope in one of my projects, which was a site that promoted certain products through affiliate links, in simplest terms. For the next month I focused solely on this project. I got my big break because Christmas was right around the corner, and Google was very generous to my website. I received my first big check for about $1,500 and decided to promote other products using the same technique. I seene major, major success. By May of 2009, I had a very high, and stable income. I did not brag, but I did let it be known that I was making a sizable income online. This is when they both were now interested in how to 'make money online.' They knew nothing about HTML, PHP or how AdWords and Adsense worked, or how to set up a domain and hosting.

    By April 2009, The deal was is that I would give them a start and teach, keyword teach, them how to code a site, dealing with domains, hosting and how to research what products to focus on and how to set up advertisements to get traffic to the website. In summary, I alone set the domain, hosting and website up, along with myself doing the product research and finding a suitable advertisement campaign. I was a little weary, but what was I expecting? I shouldn't have expected them to know how to do any of that stuff. I realized I was a bit naive but I told myself that it didn't matter because as per the agreement I would get a 33% share of the revenue anyway. The first check for them came in the mail. A week after they cashed it I figured I would get my share sometime soon, but it never happened. I figured it was only going to be about $75 for me anyway, so they would just tack it on to the next payments which were much bigger. Boy was I wrong. The monthly payments started to become thousands of dollars for them and I never recieved a penny. I was still making alot more money then them, so I brushed it off for a few months until I ran into a rough spot and could have used some cash. So, one day I casually brought up the question, "So, when am I going to get my cut?" They looked like deer in front of head lights at night. But so did I after their response. They responded with, "What money? You set it up for us to make money. You already have your own way of making money, this way is ours."

    I was in shock. Never have I ever felt so betrayed. I counter argued with what the original agreement was, and also how they had not done a single minute of work on their project. I don't know if it was because they seen me as vulnerable because they could tell I was in shock, or if they had nothing else logical to say, but they both argued, "You are greedy, all you care about is money." At that point, I was in such shock that I couldn't talk, or even think to argue. The arguement eventually died down, but the tension did not. With them thinking I'm just "okay" with evreything, every time a check comes in, they seem to love to discuss how much its for. It's also notable that within a few hours after the arguement, my dad and brother changed the password to the affiliate account.

    Early-mid 2010 hits. Ironically, my dad and brother run into a tough spot, like I was one year before. The only difference is that they had the cash, but had no clue how to set up a promotional campaign. Everything, from how to create a new page with affiliate links, to researching the audience to advertise to, they had no clue how to do. They came to me at first asking politely to 'help' set them up a campaign, and I politely declined. What I really wanted to say was go fuck yourself. As I was politely declining, citing that my share of the revenue was not being paid so I would not continue to help them. Again, I died a little bit more inside after they argued, "All you are is greedy. All you care about is yourself. Help your family out." I don't know if it was guilt, low self-esteem or the fact that over the years I was taught that 'family is everything,' but for some fucking reason I 'helped' them get another campaign going. Again, I did all the coding, all the research and set everything up for them. I don't know why I helped them because the checks started rolling in again, and everything that I had loathed about them before I had just helped perpetuate, again.

    It's 2011. Collectively over two years they have had a combind income of just over $100,000. My brother has now bought his own house, and a new snowmobile. And my dad has also bought a new snowmobile, and a brand new Ford F350. All with the money I've pretty much given them. Even though I'm making more than that, it still pisses me off to no end because to this day my dad and brother havent offered to pay for things like my college, rent, or even my cell phone bill. It's not even that I would accept it, but the feeling of appreciation by offering.

    The worst part of it is, is that I've never even heard a simple thank you. Just this morning I held the door open at the gas station and she said thank you. I realized that I've got more appreciation from an old lady by holding the door, than by giving my family $100,000.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 15, 2011
  2. edsmithers

    edsmithers Junior Member

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    That story is sickening, and it sounds like my family (who I rarely deal with anymore). I say dump them and move on to better people. Lots of people in this world. And regardless of social conditioning... family is NOT everything... not even close!

    Cheers,
    ed
     
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  3. thxflash

    thxflash Power Member

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    That was pretty rude to not give you a cut for helping out. I personally, would have considered them greedy and disowned them (but that's me).
     
  4. Metalstar

    Metalstar Registered Member

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    I would definitely tell them to get fucked. Ungrateful bastards. Find a way to get your cut, or take their sites down however you can and let them try to swim on their own.
     
  5. oxonbeef

    oxonbeef BANNED BANNED

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    You can choose your friends but you can't choose family.
    I've been there. I behave indifferently now and treat them as I would
    any other business deal. But they are still my family.
    They may need you again and they are blood it would be an abomination to
    turn your back on them no matter what has happened previously.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 15, 2011
  6. TNphoneman

    TNphoneman Senior Member

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    Nope don't disown them but now you need to run your transactions with them as a business and get paid for all your work.

    1. Pay for Research
    2. Pay for creation
    3. Pay for promotion
    and
    4. Pay for advice.

    They can either pay to get this from you or they can buy it somewhere else.

    When it comes down to the nut cutting, family is all you have. There are rare occasions where you have a friend that treats you like a real family should. All you have to do is tell people you are moving and need help, then sit back and see who shows up.

    Option 2

    Create the sites, put your advertising on it and give them a cut after the check comes.

    Oh and move out on your own, as long as you are there they will keep hounding you.
     
  7. Simas9

    Simas9 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Damn...it makes me realize how great my family is. I would dump such bastards. What about your mother?
     
  8. ExtraWinner

    ExtraWinner BANNED BANNED

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    The best revenge is to succeed.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 15, 2011
  9. manolo12399

    manolo12399 Senior Member

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    I would (If I had control of their campaign, affiliate links), switch everything to me, or better to the 1 homeless family I meet on the road.

    You know how many people you can help with that kind of money?

    How many kids you can send to school?
    F**k the Snowmobile, and the New Car.

    I would make them Homeless for a period, they would appreciated you more.

    Or let it go,

    The Biggest Revenge is massive Success
    (Tony Robbins)
     
  10. pyronaut

    pyronaut Executive VIP

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    BHW - Where we decide life's most important decisions for you.
     
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  11. adbot

    adbot Power Member

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    Keep your head up man. Hopefully one day they will realize what you have done for them. But even if they don't, you can at least have the peace of mind that you were the better man. Your generosity towards them will come back to you ten fold, if it hasn't already. You can count on that. Thanks for sharing.
     
  12. Whisker

    Whisker Moderator Staff Member Moderator Premium Member

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    lmao +rep
     
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  13. corky20

    corky20 Regular Member

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    Sorry mate, sounds like they don't appreciate anything. I certainly wouldn't help them again unless your getting something out of it. You've definitely been the bigger man up till now, just keep doing what your doing and leave them till their own business.v

    If they come back asking for help tell them to go get a contract made out! :)
     
  14. thisguykills

    thisguykills Junior Member

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    First what you need to do is give them a big fuck you. Get out all your anger. Yell and scream with all your might! Explain to them what they have done. Leave, and if they truly care they will come back for love and not money. In the end it is your decision. Do what makes YOU happy.
     
  15. Chronos

    Chronos Junior Member

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    I see your sarcasm.

    I realize the poll is a bit out their, but it's more of self-justification in a decision I've already made. Also, if I were to explain this story to anybody else they probably wouldn't be able to comprehend the situation, as they don't know internet marketing. I feel here most of you at least know where I'm coming from, being internet marketers.

    In all honesty, it's just good to vent.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2011
  16. Pekton

    Pekton Regular Member

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    that sucks. they dont appreciate anything you have done. I dont know if i could fully disown them but i would distance myself from them. move away, see the world, find the ppl who will be your true family
     
  17. Randy569

    Randy569 Junior Member

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    Family is family.

    Business is business.

    You have to keep the two separate.

    Next time they hit a snag, and come asking for help with their hats in their hands, tell them:

    "You don't work for free, and neither do I. You want my help, pay me. Upfont, if you please. You've f***ed me for the last time. Call me a greedy SOB all you want, but I'm not the one who reneged on the original deal. And family don't have sh*t to do with it. This is business."

    They found your weakness, now they are exploiting it, because they know they can.

    So, who's the bigger bastard:

    You, for not helping family after they burned you, or

    Them, for blatantly screwing a family member?

    Sounds to me like they aren't honoring their own words, so, for me, all bets would be off.

    Family doesn't treat family members the way they treated you, if they truly care. They don't care, so, to hell with them.

    Disown, and move on.
     
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  18. breakpoint

    breakpoint Registered Member

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    After all they spent and said you get none because you are greedy is a big slap in the face. I would not help them. Best of luck
     
  19. mrodriguezo

    mrodriguezo Registered Member

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    Money it's not everything in life, it looks like you are worried about the money they are making with your effort and knowledge, and I think that there is where your real problem is. What if your pages and campaigns were making $ 0 for them, were you writing this?


    If you are making enough $ for yourself, why bother about what they are making with your help? It's obvious we don't have all the information nor your family is writing their point of view here to understand your relation with them, but I think you should show them you are happy helping them besides the facts you are showing us. Some people believe in Karma, do you?


    Think about the sites and the income for them like a kind of gift for beign your family, showing them you are better person and have peace of mind.


    Besides that and regarding what you are writing, looks like you have the knowledge and that is power! It's like having a money printing machine inside you, so, what is the problem??? I don't see any... Help more -> have more (so, donĀ“t be greedy :D:D:D) and be happy.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 15, 2011
  20. IamNRE

    IamNRE Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    You probably live on your own right?

    Move on with your life, your a grown ass man. Go do you, don't sit around and let them get you down. You have shown your cards and they have shown theirs. You now know exactly the type of people they are. If they ever need you again, remind them of all the stuff you have all ready done for them without so much as a thank you and when you hit a rough patch they told ya to go sort it out yourself because its "their method" and you had to use your own method.

    In short treat them like they treat you, nothing less nothing more. You will win every argument like that. If they start calling you greedy for acting the way you act.... remind them (STRAIGHT OUT.... none of that kindly reminding stuff) how they acted and that your just acting like they acted.

    LIVE YOUR LIFE.... Life is too short to be bitter.


    Some people are just noobs. Sounds like they are like that buddy. :)

    All the best to you...... Again forget about them... live YOUR life... be happy. However no need to dis own!.... See them as relatives rather than family.