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Sales Letter / Site Critique...

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by mfriedl1, Apr 12, 2010.

  1. mfriedl1

    mfriedl1 Regular Member

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    I don't know if this is the right place to post this, or even if it is OK in general, but I"ll post it anyway with the expectation that the thread might be moved or removed....

    I just too my first "shot" at writing a sales page for an ebook I want to sell. I would appriciate any constructive feedback from anyone that could take a look at it for me.

    Here's the link....

    Code:
     
    thegiftcardloophole.com
    
    Thanks :)
     
  2. Deviance

    Deviance Regular Member

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    Big red letters? Check.
    Big red letters, but with a yellow background? Check.
    Cheesy testimonials? Check.
    Bonuses worth more than the product you're selling? Check.
    30-Day Money Back Guarantee? Check.
    Purchase before X and get Y dollars off? Check.
    ACT NOW BEFORE IT'S SOLD OUT / PRICE GOES UP! Check.

    Just because lots of people are doing it this way since ''Make Money Online'' E-books hit the internet doesn't mean you have to do it like that, try to think a little bit outside the box here and come up with some of your own stuff.
     
  3. mfriedl1

    mfriedl1 Regular Member

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    LOL...Point taken...
    To be honest, I used a piece of software to do the design part....I am more concerned about the actual writing at this point....

    But, I know the design is a bit too cookie cutter, but that can be fixed...I've never written a sales letter before so, content is my main focus.

    Thanks for your input!
     
  4. Kvamme

    Kvamme Junior Member

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    If any course out there for IM is going to provide how to create a good sales page with wordpress,I dont mind shedding over 500$ for that course.I think that part most of the sales gurus miss.
     
  5. PlatinumPi4u

    PlatinumPi4u Junior Member

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    affiliate/webmaster link (for further mmo marketing) : (not checked)
    About Us: (not checked)
    Privacy Policy: (not checked)
    terms & conditions: (not checked)

    Put an affiliate sign up, and make an affiliate page. Make them opt in in order to be an affiliate, and multiply your potential revenue stream by A) having them sell for your and B) marketing MMO to affiliates.

    As for the rest, it will make the SERPS love you, and it will add extreme credibility.

    Upgrade the look and graphics to make it look more 2.0 instead of 1.8 (you're almost there!)
     
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  6. Hellfire

    Hellfire Regular Member

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    As said, make it in Wordpress, remove the cheesy image of the guy with money in the hands. You're handing out giftcard secrets, not instant-handfull-of-money-loophole. Also, why do you have 3 images with the 30 day money back guarantee?

    There are also some small gramaticall errors like "Sound like you?" which should be "Sounds like you?" Now I'm just being grammar naziish, and I know I'm not one to talk about that :p

    Yea, make the design more 2.0. Overall it's a great site.
     
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  7. mfriedl1

    mfriedl1 Regular Member

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    Thanks for the input guys!
    I'd love to do an affiliate thing, but I dont' know how...is there a piece of software or a script or something that I could "get" that can set that up for me?

    Wordpress sounds like a good idea...blogs get indexed faster, so its a very good point.

    Real quick...what do you mean when you say "make it web 2.0" I'm not sure what that actually is....

    Adding the "about us" and such is a great idea!! shouldn't even take to long to through together.

    Yeah..with the guy holding they money...Its an image I used for something else a while back and just threw it in there, but you're right....I'll find another giftcard related image and replace it :p

    The 3 "30 day money back" images was just kind of a design choice. I didn't like what one looked like...but if you think it will make a difference I'll take 2 out.

    I honestly don't mind the "Grammar nazi" That is a HUGE pet peeve of mine...reading a through a site and realizing that the person that wrote it didn't even care enough to spell check!!

    I sincerely appreciate the feedback
     
  8. Hellfire

    Hellfire Regular Member

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    There's some cool salesletter themes in the download section if you go with Wordpress.

    Make your graphic more modern, and not like we're stuck in 1998 (no offence).

    Check some web 2.0 graphics

    Don't forget the privacy policy, Google loves those you know ;)

    Or you could create your own graphic, 3d box shot or something in the download section can make 3d cards with a photo of your choice and save it as a JPG, so you'll get exactly what you want.

    I would think one looked better as three of them are a bit overkill.

    A little more then, in my opinion haven three exclamation marks after the price and the midnight bullshit :p

    A little more; BE CONSISTANT, I'm not sure whether your writer or you did this mistake, but it stands 19.99$ for it over the order now button and 9.99$ under. Make up your mind.

    No problem :3