Review my sales page

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by dealhunter, Jan 7, 2010.

  1. dealhunter

    dealhunter Regular Member

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    Hello Everyone,

    I just made my new sales page and I am curious on how it can be improved. I am no copywriting expert by any means. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated.

    http://www.5pr5.com


    Thanks John
     
  2. radi2k

    radi2k Junior Member

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    on most salespages i can find more text to read, so i just wondered myself that there isnt so much to scroll ;)

    how about a money back guarantee or some faked testimonials?

    instead of the analytic stats i would show a faked picture of rocketing stats after optimizing with your service. personally that would attract me much more.
     
  3. MrBearman

    MrBearman Registered Member

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    First thing you need to do is get a great Headline:

    How You Can Exponientially
    Increase Your Websites Traffic Today​

    Discover the Secret of How to
    INCREASE YOUR SALES TODAY

    or similar​

    just google: world best adverising headlines as a good starting point
     
  4. dealhunter

    dealhunter Regular Member

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    Thanks for the great feedback! I added a headline - Let me know what you think.
     
  5. crack_dhat

    crack_dhat Power Member

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    increase the font size of your headline then add some graphics after it :)
     
  6. JuicyBlack

    JuicyBlack Regular Member

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  7. crack_dhat

    crack_dhat Power Member

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  8. sidddd

    sidddd Power Member

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  9. Reelnetwork

    Reelnetwork Power Member

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    It's awesome page!
     
  10. Reelnetwork

    Reelnetwork Power Member

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  11. blackhatsith

    blackhatsith Registered Member

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    Video sales pages tend to convert better. I'd put up a video explaining your service. Most people won't take the time to read a sales page, but they will take time to watch a video, even if they weren't initially interested in the product/service. A video also makes your page look more professional.
     
  12. marttali

    marttali Junior Member

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    You are writing about yourself mostly - i, me this and that.
    Me as a customer i don't give a fuck. Talk about what i gain not what you gain or do.
     
  13. alexaassassin

    alexaassassin Registered Member

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    Honestly?

    I'd buy your service if you

    - showed a youtube ( plays automatically as soon as you land on the page ) video of yourself with your computer just explaining in under 60 seconds everything I need to read in the absence of the video.

    - the bullet points were covered in the video and posted in text, then a Buy Now button- of course a money back guarantee - or a small, entry level purchase just to get going - like $21