[REQ] Ultimate landing page to fight competition

Ridiculous ! I know...

I am looking for the best package to fight every competition in niche markets.
I will pay x.xxx
I want to know if it is possible! I know your fuckin work about backlinks, SE landingpages, social bookmarking etc. I want a simple solution.
If there is a quick solution - a template - you will get paid extremously !:wof:

STOP
Just a joke !
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I know that it is impossible, so that's just for your imagination!
Dream on, Sucker!

I am very confused.