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[Rant]Fiancé’s Youngest Son is a Lazy A$$!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by H2oBoy, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. H2oBoy

    H2oBoy Regular Member

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    <rant on>

    Fiancé’s youngest sun, who is almost 20, came to stay w/us at the beginning of November and he’s driving me phucking insane!

    Every time I used to here comments referring to today’s youth being lazy and/or wanting things given to them, I would just turn a deaf ear….but FFS…over the last month this kid has been staying w/us…I’m beginning to think it’s actually true!

    This SOB doesn’t do SH**!

    The only time he gets up off his a$$ for is when he needs to go get beer (his older brother who is over 21, will go get it for him)
    or needs his ‘chew’…aka tobacco…

    He sits around all phucking day either playing his guitar or playing his PS3!

    He doesn’t clean up after he cooks…never takes the garbage out, doesn’t do his share of the dishes, makes his mom (aka my fiancé) do his laundry….spends over 20 minutes in the bathroom on his phone, which by the way, I think is permanently attached to his phucking ear and to make matters worse, he’s up until 2am or 3am in the morning and then doesn’t get up until after 1pm!

    I love my fiancé very much and I’ve talked to her about ‘talking to him’ about going out and getting a job but for one reason or another, she’s totally side-stepped the conversation w/her son!

    This kid just came from North Dakota, where he worked in the oil-fields for about a year, so he’s not that bad of a guy…it’s just that his mom treated him a little differently growing up than she did her other 4 kids…all of which have one issue or another, such as Bi-Polar, PTSD or a Learning Disability.

    I’ve been biting my tongue about talking to this kid about what he’s NOT DOING around the house for as long as I can, but I’m at that point now where if my fiancé doesn’t do anything, then there’s either going to be shouting match between myself and this kid, or there wont’ be any more *fiancé* because I’ll just up and leave.

    This whole ordeal has cause me so much stress over the last month, I can’t concentrate when I’m trying to work on my online biz….and when I am at my ‘day job’, I don’t want to even come home some times!

    I just don’t know what to do anymore!

    Thoughts/suggestions appreciated!

    </rant off>
     
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  2. chad362wiley

    chad362wiley Supreme Member

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    poison his drink :p
     
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  3. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    Your house or hers? If its her's shut up or move out. If it's your's time to have a talk with the young man. Did he have any father figures in his life? If not he hasn't a clue.
     
  4. xSwag

    xSwag Junior Member

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    You should introduce him to BHW. Have him start reading some money making threads and start making some $$. :)
     
  5. Kronic

    Kronic Registered Member

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    sounds like the kid is just used to that sort of lifestyle when around his mother. i mean, he's only 20. by no means am i making excuses for his behavior based on age, but what is his maturity level really at?. i doubt he's been out on his own much of his life. as already asked, did he have a father figure? is your fiancee supporting and indirectly encouraging this behavior?

    why'd he leave north dakota and the oil industry? do you know what he was doing in that field? company i work fa has hired more than a few people straight out of the oil industry. as also mentioned above, maybe BHW would teach him a few things. he have any good contacts from that industry, maybe a JV with me and him? haha

    one thing you really need to consider is how important is she in your life? he's been there about a month, right? and if you are engaged, that means you're planning on marrying this woman at some point in your life. is everything you have with her and everything you stand ta have in the future worth throwing away because of the son?

    if it is your house, its your rules. no matter what she is going ta love him, cause its her son. doesnt mean she has ta like or approve of what he does. and a parent cant baby them forever. that may be what put him in this position in the first place. sounds like he needs some tough love, and it sounds like his mother is trying ta avoid that part. maybe this is where you need ta step in fa her. even if its her place, maybe you can approach it nicely and see if you can get through ta him. if this is what he was uesd ta growing up with her, maybe he just doesnt realize what he's doing nor understand that its bothering others.

    regardless of who's place it is, i suggest you sit down with him and try ta talk ta him. a "im interested" approach instead of "you're lazy, get off your ass" approach will work better at first. i'm 23, and if someone my mom came at me with an approach similar ta your rant, i'd get pissed instantly and no matter what his intentions were, i'd give him hell fa even trying. but a more subtle approach, as if you're interested and possibly tryin ta help would work better with me. put your black hat on and think outside the box on how ta get the kid off his ass and doing something.
     
  6. steelballs

    steelballs BANNED BANNED

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    Easy solution change your fiance no problems he will leave when she goes:eek:
     
  7. astralslider

    astralslider Newbie

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    yo man if shes hot then straighten up the kid. If she is worth leaving behind then move on because that's your anchor right there
     
  8. swaggerboy

    swaggerboy Registered Member

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    Its actually quite simple. First of all show some interest into his life. He might not be exactly your type but Im pretty sure he see's things alot different then you. So have a good conversation with him. Not here fiancéé. Also she is not gonna boss him around anymore at the age of 20. So it doesnt matter if you or her have a good conversation
     
  9. H2oBoy

    H2oBoy Regular Member

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    We live in an apartment, that's in both of our names....

    If I have a *talk* with him....my 'tone' w/him may not be one that would be deemed 'polite'...but rather....to the point...which, I know would then lead to issues w/the fiance'....I fee like I'm stuck between a rock and hard-place!
     
  10. H2oBoy

    H2oBoy Regular Member

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    This kid would rather work a manual job then do something that would lead to residual income!
     
  11. GiorgioB

    GiorgioB Supreme Member

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    Man.. come on. I was also like that at 20.. actually scratch that, I was much worse. I was smoking dope everyday, getting hammered with my friends at weekends.. my career goal was to be an English teacher cos you got plenty of holidays!

    Now (4 years later) I'm working a 9-5 job + incorporated a company and running my business between 6pm and 1am everyday (8am-1am on weekends with small breaks).

    Trust me, guys are lazy at that age, but that will change. He just needs to discover his thing, like my thing is IM now.
     
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  12. Windmill

    Windmill Supreme Member

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    LOL. This describes some people that I know perfectly. Video games are the worst; the people I know are lazy as sin but at least they used to socialize before games. Now they rarely socialize and just eat, sleep and play video games. One of my friends doesn't even bother to put on clothes when I go to see him. I walk in and he will be unshaved, playing games on his computer in boxer shorts! Please put some clothes on at least. ​Used to have a job; lost it to circumstances outside his control, now this is his life.
     
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  13. yesiamj3ff

    yesiamj3ff Newbie

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    Posting a rant on a forum isn't going to solve your problem... Instead of complaining about the kid, gain some fundamental knowledge about what's effecting him and bond with him more. There are underlining issues that YOU need to address rather than her.

    Often times, it's just frozen fear. It's a comfort bubble... He needs a reason to leave the house and be outside. Lack of a male figure causes this issue alot.


    ::Source:: Psychology major.
     
  14. FJX

    FJX Regular Member

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    Hi, a guy turning 21 this July. That age is the "darkest" age of most person. I was worse - but I did realized my mistake although I haven't heard a word from my parents. Now I have numbers of ventures offline and online, and when I succeed (hopefully) they definitely deserve my help when they came up with me when I'm at my worst.
     
  15. H2oBoy

    H2oBoy Regular Member

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  16. smalboy

    smalboy Junior Member

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    Do what we Asians do: Give him a lil' smacking!
     
  17. Windmill

    Windmill Supreme Member

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    I do agree with others that say this is a very dark age. Probably realised that he has no direction/doesn't have anything he wants to do with his life. Not so flash. Poor lad is probably very lost.
     
  18. twilightofidols

    twilightofidols Power Member

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    He's 20 years old it's time to move out. It's really not your concern if he's on his phone all the time, or how big of a turd he acts like. Your job is just to be civil with him. I would talk to your fiance about the prospect of him moving out. Don't try to micromanage his behavior it's only going to backfire on you. The more you complain amount the more ammunition he's got to sling. The problem here isn't all those little things you mentioned, the problem lies with your relationship between you and your fiance. If he was 13 it'd be a different story, but a boy's gotta become a man.

    I'm 25 and bust my ass to make a living with SEO. Maybe teach him IM get his head out of the wacky tobaccy.
     
  19. H2oBoy

    H2oBoy Regular Member

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    Well, all I can say is at that age, I WASN'T...nor were the friends I hung around!

    Then again, *we* didn't have:

    Playstions/XBoxes/Iphones/Ipads/Smartphones/Internet/YouTube/Social-Media/Etc.,Etc.,
     
  20. H2oBoy

    H2oBoy Regular Member

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    There's some serious truth to what you just said...guess I'm going to have to do some serious soul-searching here real soon! Thanks!