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Proven Cash Making Method for the Lazy and Dim-Witted

Discussion in 'Making Money' started by mslake, Dec 6, 2008.

  1. mslake

    mslake Registered Member

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    Here is something that works, especially around the holidays when people are charitable. Make sure you follow this formula exactly. Any deviation from exactly what someone in this forum tells you will never, ever work.

    1) Get yourself a nice image of a rickety can or jar partially filled with coins.

    2) Write a little blurb under the photo about how lazy you are, and that you need money to buy your fat kids gameboys, Wiis, motorcycles, and candy. Really make the blog tug at the heartstrings. It sometimes helps to throw in that you are voluntarily unemployed, spend all your savings on hookers, and that welfare is not going to give your kids the Christmas they deserve.

    3) Ask them to donate some change for your cause. Remind them that even giving a little means a lot, and that just a $100 donation could put nice expensive shoes on your imported Russian bride's feet. You can also play the religion card and remind them that not giving to thy neighbor in need is a one way ticket to the hell of their belief.

    4) Make it easy for them to give you cash. Put a link to paypal or your merchant account.

    5) Now, this is where you drive your traffic. Print out a bunch of fliers with a photo of you eating Cheetos on the couch and the website URL you just created. Make them all wrinkled, and if possible, scent them with a dab of of your own urine.

    6) Find yourself a busy street in your neighborhood. Dress like a hobo and actually beg for money on the streets. A bindle is a nice touch (I pack a sandwich in mine). Make sure you hand out your urine soaked fliers to people as they walk by. This is called double dipping. People may not give on the street, but certainly when they see your pathetic website, they will give you money.

    7) Sit back and watch the cash roll in. Or rather, sit out on the street and beg for money while your website makes you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
     
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  2. mehjoe

    mehjoe Junior Member

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    hahhahahahhahahahah. that is the funniest thing i have read in a long time!
     
  3. netjedi

    netjedi Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    hahaha! this is one of the stupidest thing i read haha!
     
  4. blogbd1

    blogbd1 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Is it the latest way of begging money to others?
     
  5. darkhatter

    darkhatter Registered Member

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    You should turn this into an ebook and sell it on DP :p
     
  6. cybermage

    cybermage Newbie Premium Member

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    lol ok this is great i have to recommend this method to some friends
     
  7. bavahz

    bavahz Registered Member

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    Thank very much!
    Another great idea to add to my bag-o-tricks.
    Sweeeeeet Treat.

    Would clown makeup help or hinder?

    I thought the Red Skelton, Freddie Kreuger look would be cool.
    Some times the threat of bodily harm gets them to open their wallets

    Or a GWB mask while wearing a lame duck outfit.

    J
     
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  8. dhamma_man

    dhamma_man Junior Member

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    I laughed so hard I almost pi**ed myself! I think the mods should make this a sticky so that when some newbie on here asks "How can I make a million dollars by tomorrow without spending anything and not knowing anything, and if you'd do it for me, also, I would really appreciate it!", I could just direct them to this thread!

    mslake - I predict that you have a real future in comedic writing!

    >>Nominate for BEST POST OF THE DAY<< :)
     
  9. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    hahahaha thats a great one :D make money of these idiots hahaha :D
     
  10. xplicit

    xplicit BANNED BANNED

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    Believe it or not, there are people who do this for a living. and make more than any of us.

    We should turn this into an e-book sell it on DP, then all profits get donated to BHW
     
  11. hayama

    hayama Registered Member

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    Yah, or you can make up a charity. But that really goes against my morals in so many ways.
     
  12. fun4uoc

    fun4uoc Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Damn it, you just took my idea:D
     
  13. virtualgeorge

    virtualgeorge Junior Member

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    Why just urine soaked? You might as well roll the flyers in some shit while your at it.
     
  14. blogbd1

    blogbd1 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    I am sure it will get great testimonials my DP members if they get free review copy like "This is the most unique idea i have ever heard."
     
  15. jahead121

    jahead121 Newbie

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    this will make a great e book to sell
     
  16. dangregory

    dangregory Registered Member

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    The only problem with this method is you can't really be too lazy. It takes a long time to get those flyers completely urine soaked. :)

    I've found that if it's cat urine, it stimulates even more donations. People are extremely motivated to get you out of their sight.

    Dan
     
  17. mslake

    mslake Registered Member

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    It was a silly post, but if you seriously put a "please donate to help support such and such" on your blog or website, you just added a human touch to your website that could really pay off. I have had several donations to whatever stupid cause I happen to be blogging about. The key, make it sincere, and make an official looking "donate" icon. BHW gets $97 a year with this method, so why shouldn't you?
     
  18. dealhunter

    dealhunter Regular Member

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    I love it. I feel like that sometimes. Just wanna get a 6 pack and beg haha.
     
  19. blackbing

    blackbing Newbie

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    Hahahaha!!! This is really good... Another short and simple way - Use photoshop to remove the arms and legs from your picture and ask nicely for donation!
     
  20. blogbd1

    blogbd1 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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     I love it. I feel like that sometimes. Just wanna get a 6 pack and beg haha. 
    Whats the relation with 6 packs and beggars, does all the beggar have 6 packs?