mslake
Registered Member
- Nov 26, 2008
- 96
- 31
Here is something that works, especially around the holidays when people are charitable. Make sure you follow this formula exactly. Any deviation from exactly what someone in this forum tells you will never, ever work.
1) Get yourself a nice image of a rickety can or jar partially filled with coins.
2) Write a little blurb under the photo about how lazy you are, and that you need money to buy your fat kids gameboys, Wiis, motorcycles, and candy. Really make the blog tug at the heartstrings. It sometimes helps to throw in that you are voluntarily unemployed, spend all your savings on hookers, and that welfare is not going to give your kids the Christmas they deserve.
3) Ask them to donate some change for your cause. Remind them that even giving a little means a lot, and that just a $100 donation could put nice expensive shoes on your imported Russian bride's feet. You can also play the religion card and remind them that not giving to thy neighbor in need is a one way ticket to the hell of their belief.
4) Make it easy for them to give you cash. Put a link to paypal or your merchant account.
5) Now, this is where you drive your traffic. Print out a bunch of fliers with a photo of you eating Cheetos on the couch and the website URL you just created. Make them all wrinkled, and if possible, scent them with a dab of of your own urine.
6) Find yourself a busy street in your neighborhood. Dress like a hobo and actually beg for money on the streets. A bindle is a nice touch (I pack a sandwich in mine). Make sure you hand out your urine soaked fliers to people as they walk by. This is called double dipping. People may not give on the street, but certainly when they see your pathetic website, they will give you money.
7) Sit back and watch the cash roll in. Or rather, sit out on the street and beg for money while your website makes you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
1) Get yourself a nice image of a rickety can or jar partially filled with coins.
2) Write a little blurb under the photo about how lazy you are, and that you need money to buy your fat kids gameboys, Wiis, motorcycles, and candy. Really make the blog tug at the heartstrings. It sometimes helps to throw in that you are voluntarily unemployed, spend all your savings on hookers, and that welfare is not going to give your kids the Christmas they deserve.
3) Ask them to donate some change for your cause. Remind them that even giving a little means a lot, and that just a $100 donation could put nice expensive shoes on your imported Russian bride's feet. You can also play the religion card and remind them that not giving to thy neighbor in need is a one way ticket to the hell of their belief.
4) Make it easy for them to give you cash. Put a link to paypal or your merchant account.
5) Now, this is where you drive your traffic. Print out a bunch of fliers with a photo of you eating Cheetos on the couch and the website URL you just created. Make them all wrinkled, and if possible, scent them with a dab of of your own urine.
6) Find yourself a busy street in your neighborhood. Dress like a hobo and actually beg for money on the streets. A bindle is a nice touch (I pack a sandwich in mine). Make sure you hand out your urine soaked fliers to people as they walk by. This is called double dipping. People may not give on the street, but certainly when they see your pathetic website, they will give you money.
7) Sit back and watch the cash roll in. Or rather, sit out on the street and beg for money while your website makes you rich beyond your wildest dreams.
