People Too Stupid To Live!

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by The Scarlet Pimp, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Senior Member

    Apr 2, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Chair moistener.
    Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Can you help?"

    Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

    Customer: "It's on the door of your business."

    Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."


    Samsung Electronics

    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and Telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

    Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."


    RAC Motoring Services

    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am Traveling in Australia?"

    Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"


    Caller (inquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
    "If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I
    have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"


    Directory Inquiries

    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please."

    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"

    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."


    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in "Woven."

    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."


    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a
    phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
    window to write the number on."


    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

    Customer: "OK."

    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "OK . Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "OK, sir... Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."


    Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can
    you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

    Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"


    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.
    So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks, will I get my file back again?"


    This is a true story from the 'WordPerfect' Helpline, which was transcribed from a
    recording monitoring the customer care department.

    Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however he/she
    is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

    Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
    (Now I know why they record these conversations!)

    Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

    Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

    Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'

    Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

    Operator: 'Went away?'

    Caller: 'They disappeared.'

    Operator: 'Hmmm... So what does your screen look like now?'

    Caller: 'Nothing.'

    Operator: 'Nothing?'

    Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

    Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

    Caller: 'How do I tell?'

    Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

    Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'

    Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

    Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.

    Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

    Caller: 'What's a monitor?'

    Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
    Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

    Caller: 'I don't know.'

    Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
    Can you see that?'

    Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'

    Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.'

    Caller: 'Yes, it is.'

    Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged
    into the back of it, not just one?'

    Caller: 'No.'

    Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

    Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'

    Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

    Caller: 'I can't reach.'

    Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

    Caller: 'No.'

    Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

    Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'

    Operator: 'Dark?'

    Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

    Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'

    Caller: 'I can't.'

    Operator: 'No? Why not?'

    Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'

    Operator: 'A power ... A power failure? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now.
    Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

    Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

    Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up,
    just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

    Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'

    Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

    Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

    Operator: 'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'
    • Thanks Thanks x 7
  2. _Austin

    _Austin Junior Member

    Apr 9, 2009
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    That last one was f'in hilarious! Some people are so damn dumb.

  3. Pharaoh

    Pharaoh Newbie

    Nov 16, 2009
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    F'kin awesome, if that was really for real, I would have done it, fired or not.
  4. gfawkes

    gfawkes Newbie

    Oct 13, 2008
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    stupid people should drown in the shallow end of the gene pool
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  5. keinehabe

    keinehabe Supreme Member

    Nov 4, 2008
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    -= CEO =-
    Home Page:
    hilarious !
  6. richgeeks

    richgeeks Registered Member

    Aug 17, 2009
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    that is a pretty abusive statement dude.......
    i think that everybody in their lives would have been stupid at some point in their lives no matter how smart they are now...:eek:
  7. redtide1969

    redtide1969 BANNED BANNED

    Feb 15, 2009
    Likes Received:
    lol..good stuff

    I don't know if I could have waited that long to tell them to pack up the computer and pack it up ;)
  8. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Senior Member

    Apr 2, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Chair moistener.

    there is a huge difference between 'ignorant, but can learn' and 'malignant dumb'.
    those comments are not of someone who is merely ignorant, they are the words of hopeless dullards.

    who have the legal right to operate heavy machinery, own deadly weapons and to vote... :eek:
  9. seojumper

    seojumper Regular Member

    Jan 13, 2008
    Likes Received:
    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a
    phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the
    window to write the number on."

    This guy is actually smart.
  10. sidddd

    sidddd Power Member

    May 15, 2008
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    haha.. I assume you were that customer mentioned in the last one :D :D