People are f*** freks

People are freaking. If you don't do what they think is the right for you, they'll behave weird. They'll threaten you. They'll play games on you.
You can't let anyone step into your zone unless you want to be their slave in the master-slave relationship (which is racist).

I have had too many adventures with saviors and soothsayers of truth. I want to live alone.
Each of those saviors was like a guru thinking all of other gurus as wrong and the only of few who have the truth.
And you have them everywhere. Any close relationship can be like that. But trust me, this type of relationship is an unhealthy one!

You don't want to be guided in this life. Really.
So any advice you see, take it with a grain of salt. And then step back, rest for a while. Think again.
And don't think of the person who gave you the advice as someone good.
Don't mix their personality, feelings, worldview and achievements with whatever they are saying.

I'm writing this because I'm really shocked how one in a real life relationship can influence you and change your worldview wholely.
They can make you depressed, anxious, act weird, seem irrational. Really. They can gain so much control over you, you'll feel the influence years afterwards.
Then one day you'll realize your mind was hacked and you were existing under someone's manipulation.
They'll deny every possible suspicion and tell you it's your fault of being paranoid.
Of course the last sentence you're going to hear is that it's your fault of making up the scenario and putting them in this scenario as a leader.

I think "misery loves company" saying is a good fit here. One manipulates the other to the point where they both become living wrecks and decide to kill themselves or do something equally despicable.

To this day I can't believe what I was doing under someone's influence. I'm glad I haven't attempted a murder or something worse. But happily it has ended soon.

I can't believe this shit myself. Told like 5 therapists about that and this sh** is still disgusting.

I'm not talking sects. I'm talking small human circles and toxic relationships which are well on the surface, but deep inside have very obscure origin.
A ton of manipulative behaviors going on for years. A tremendous amount of anger poured out in various strange ways between individuals. Strange ways of helping. Advising very convoluted methods of helping oneself. Insulting the whole world. Constantly coming up with suggestions that could end in death.

Everyone has their way of seeing the world and they want you to agree with it and do what they think you should do.

We are all selfish because we want things in a specific way.

The ego is always seeking control.

Also..."Like attracts Like". Whatever is going on in "your world" you attracted those people because you need to learn something from them or the situation.

nhgjob said:

Everyone has their way of seeing the world and they want you to agree with it and do what they think you should do.

We are all selfish because we want things in a specific way.

The ego is always seeking control.

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Same opinion here. Couldn't be more accurate

The saviors are there and they really think they can help you doing harm to you. Lol.

The good thing is, the older you get, the more you start to be picky about who your real friends are, and life starts to get easier. We all hopefully evolve with age and experience, on different path in life.

RoiBox said:

The good thing is, the older you get, the more you start to be picky about who your real friends are, and life starts to get easier. We all hopefully evolve with age and experience, on different path in life.

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That's some good news. Noticed it myself. Thought I will be with those forever, but I started to see as the ground sinks beneath my feet.
You learn with time who a friend is and who is not. My mother is closer to a friend than most of the people I used to call friends.

The most terrifying shit that came out of my head is this:

some s**it is terribly wrong, police is fingerpriting me (yes, it happened)
and one guy asks "how is it going? I hope you are fine" or something along those lines
and he is perfectly smiling and laughing out loud as there was nothing wrong with this.

And it was after a number of really strange occurences. He used to be friends with one of those who people called out as psychopats. And I used to know that "psychopat" as well. And it was really strange. That so-called psychopat had to leave as soon as I realized he is threatening me and is looking for bad stuff in me.

When I called out this supposed psychopat as toxic, he was blown away and was chasing me for months. But unfortunately the only thing he could do was kill me which he couldn't because he would be lost.
But he was good enough to wind me up in those weird scenarios. I noticed that over time I was acting like him and it was terribly difficult to stop it.

Then this toxic guy left and oddly made a perfect friendship with this guy who asked me that creepy question.
And lately it seemed as he was influenced by the toxic and forgot he can be a tool in someone's hands.

I would really not be surprised if this toxic guy would stand at a distance and be happy with his achievements.
He would receive messages from that one who smiled strangely all the time. He couldn't break that connection for some reason.

F**k this is too much!

And yes, I'm sober. It's just that I really distanced myself from those people. Actually decided to leave the city.
And all of a sudden all of "my issues" started to fade away.
It was like a magic trick I had to discover. It took me 3 years, being busted and broke for months.

I haven't had a friend in years.

If you think loneliness is better, come join the dark side

That's why I love money. No mind games, no lies, no bullshit. The money will always tell the truth and always be there for you in the most honest way <3

Here, have some of Dan Pena

God fucking damn it. I will never forget how those people told me I am a fucking human wreck and tell me to develop a website for $50 which took 3 fucking workdays.
Then I was paid, but only mercifully. That made up story of everyone being a bad employer and them being perfect and fair. This made me so demotivated I thought writing an article is akin to climbing a mountain for 2 days.
These layers of lies are ripped off from my personality everyday. I made that personality in 8 years. So next 8 years I will build my real own, non-fake personality.

And then there's this fairy tale that everything productive is some kind of crap and a coal mine job. That creating websites and writing articles that sell is nothing more than a modern day job in the coal mine. No matter how much they pay, it's an undignified occupation.

Remember, you are fucking workaholics who will die in a sweat and never be remembered. And your kids are <offending word> you shouldn't have because you are <offending word> yourselves.

I still can't get through the fact I spent so many days with someone like that.

These weird scenarios seemed to occur only to make them able to prove that there is something good in them by giving minimum possible support when they see complete misery.

I'm not talking about a marital relationship here, but only about mates. But stoned and drunk colleagues are not good colleagues.
Colleagues who believe that they will be able to go through life responsibly as alcoholics and drug addicts. I am just now seeing that self-called responsibility.

If something was pointed out to them, they would always deny it. They would contradict themselves many times. This is a terrible stupidity.
What do you expect from a person who is constantly lighting up a weed bowl?

These days I feel like I'm getting a chance from god and getting out of this scrape.

I think it all happened because I saw them as business partners. Sure, they were making a shitload of money, but illegally or they were going nonstop in a 9-5 as engineers and so they got about $2500 a month out of it at best. What the fuck is $2500? After all, that's a pathetic salary for someone who calls himself an engineer.

There must be something wrong with you if you get $2500 (2x the average) and start saving like you made a killing and spend the rest on junk and alcohol.

My mind is making those connections based on other people opinion. We share a common opinion, so I am not coming up with everything myself.
I'm sure this shit has to end. I pray everyday to never answer a call from any of those.
Can't let them run on the toxic oil and let them toxicify me.

This is interesting. People manipulating you to test how different techniques will perform, not getting their feet wet. Being a tool in hand's of someone.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-deal-sneaky-manipulative-people-dr-isaiah-hankel

For real though, people will always come and go. You should not expect too much from them so you wont get hurt. Always expect for the worst and keep on mind that not everyone will stay.

BbHhWwVM said:

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I don't know why you posted this but I think it's funny. Lol.

In a world where, even parents discriminate their own kids, never trust anyone. Humans are not trustworthy.
You have a brain to question, read and find out things yourself rather than listening someone blindly and believing them fully.

Wow. So much control was given to someone thanks to letting them shape me "just a little bit".

I was absent from this forum for 5 years. Guess why?
Cause someone everyday was telling me everything I do is pure sh*t and they told me everything they do is right.
And they have gained my trust during my bad happening and due to my age that was like 15 at the time.

Gaslighting is a nice technique to find yourself in a situation when you become enemy of someone so much they want to kill you.
Wow. I fucking can't stop thinking about the best tool to find and massacre them.
Let's question our reality and see where we are in a year!

Even your opinion about your face is not true. Let alone talk about things like politics. In this I think you are already the dumbest and need a solid transformation.

You can even look at my posts from let's say 2 months ago. I was still influenced back then.
Right now I am barely seeing any impact on me, but it's still apparent in my thoughts.
The most apparent is involuntary rage and a ton of falsehood I attained in those relationships.

At one point I was asking questions such as:
Wh am I so bad at it? Because I am wearing a bad t-shirt? Or did I eat not enough calories yesterday? Or am I not calm enough? Or maybe those 20 minutes of sleep made a big difference?
Why am I so bad at this in the first place? Cause you can't be good at it? Cause this type of task JUST sucks and nothing can be done about it?

And I have never ever questioned those who I trusted.
I only questioned myself like they sort of pushed me into.
They told me subtly my family is a bunch of wrecks, they told me they never contact their family (they did) and they finally made me say "bye" to my family.
Now I went back and realized they were just controlling me.

Fortunately I don't feel like someone is in control of me anymore. Still some try to find me out there.

I posted a rant on this forum some time ago. And it sounds exactly like complaining of one of those people I trusted.
It felt like words speeched by me were not mine. It felt like my genuine actions I was taking were "bad" and could result in guilt.
Even making this thread felt like I was doing something against myself.

So freaking absurdic that your work makes you feel guilty and sad cause it was "too much" (just how much you wanted).
This fucking constant fight in my head: "you can't be an entreprenur, you must stop working so much, don't be a workaholic!".
It was like mining gold and something was telling me "stop! just right now you have too stop!". I would be a mile away from the goal.
But the toxic shit in my head would tell me to stop.
And I have never felt like a workaholic, but someone manipulated me into thinking so.

The moment I quit one of my jobs (like 2 years ago), the guy I trusted subtly suggested to me to do something illegal because that's what his buddies do and they make a profit from it.
Later I did something fucked up at his insistence - he had my trust.
Remember, it was very subtle.
So again, he would create a story where I got into trouble (he would actually get me into the trouble), then deny the facts and pretend he didn't contribute to anything.
Then he would laugh at my face and look at all the misery happening around himself and "being the winner".

I am not even questioning he actually made me question my last job and dedication to software development and marketing.
I was so indignant and looked for bad things everywhere when I talked to him about working conditions.
He made me hate the job, and he blamed this hatred of mine on "the system that led to this". It's fucked up.

I thought I had some sort of panic disorder, but it turned out that the "feeling of losing control" was caused by me giving it away to someone.
And someone hinted to me that it was a disease and not the fault of trusting them.

"Fortunately I don't feel like someone is in control of me anymore. Still some try to find me out there."
Answering myself.

"These layers of lies are ripped off from my personality everyday. I made that personality in 8 years. So next 8 years I will build my real own, non-fake personality."

nhgjob said:

Everyone has their way of seeing the world and they want you to agree with it and do what they think you should do.

We are all selfish because we want things in a specific way.

The ego is always seeking control.

Also..."Like attracts Like". Whatever is going on in "your world" you attracted those people because you need to learn something from them or the situation.

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Now tell it to someone on acid who let other people put everything what they wanted into their head under the influence.
Now it makes sense why I was so scared of acid! Because it was a tool that was used against me. Someone made a story on acid, told it to me, then I panicked and voila. Here is the guy who is your follower!

Nice share! You can spin your posts and have around 50 posts for your Blog. Put an affiliate banner up and start making some really decent extra money.

You can’t change others, you can only change yourself. So just learn how to make yourself stronger in order to avoid being in the same situation in the future.

davids355 said:

You can’t change others, you can only change yourself. So just learn how to make yourself stronger in order to avoid being in the same situation in the future.

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"It was like a magic trick I had to discover. It took me 3 years, being busted and broke for months."

This makes me a little bit calmer. Only 3 years were really hardcore. Previously I still had some control as I was living far away from those.