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Parents Divorcing Need Help

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by S M W, Sep 2, 2009.

  1. S M W

    S M W Junior Member

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    OK, first I'm not a kid. I have kids of my own & can't believe that my parents are divorcing after 40+ years. Basically my old man is leaving my mom for his high-school sweetheart.

    He's always been a control-freak and has handled the bills - leaving my mom completely out of it. They don't really have any serious debts but I heard he wants to keep it amicable and just split 50-50. They aren't wealthy but he certainly had enough time to hide accts as he's been planning this for over a year I found out...

    Long story short - I'm worried that he's going to take advantage of her good nature and clean out accounts and stuff. So, if anyone knows how to find out if he's got hidden assets please let me know or PM me.

    Also, he mentioned getting a moving truck to get "his things". This really concerns me because they aren't just his things. Does anyone know how to stop him from pulling a truck up one day and cleaning out the house? I mean I thought the judge was supposed to determine who takes what at the hearings... They are in PA btw. Can she change the locks without repurcussions?

    I posted here because I didn't know who else to ask - BHW users have always come thru for me.
     
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  2. Pofecker

    Pofecker Senior Member Premium Member

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    Best advise I can give - Get your mom a lawyer.
     
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  3. S M W

    S M W Junior Member

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    ya we got a lawyer. but i think he's a pussy.
     
  4. Gman2160

    Gman2160 Junior Member

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    Get the lawyers and courts involved asap. Until there is a judges order, she can't lock the door on "his" house (or keep him out), and she can't keep him from selling (hiding) their/his stuff. Even then, I'm sure you can guess how much "teeth" those orders have...ever heard of anyone doing any time for "misunderstanding" the judges order and selling a bunch of their stuff. I know this probably isn't helping your feelings very much. The only other thing would be to start documenting EVERYTHING! Photos of stuff, journal of he said/she said, etc.
     
  5. jonnyquest

    jonnyquest Regular Member

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    2nd this comment
     
  6. S M W

    S M W Junior Member

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    Thanks I'll start taking pics I guess...
     
  7. justone

    justone Elite Member

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    I'd say start by making a list of all goods in your house that are worth writing down.
    Maybe just add a price you&your mom think it's worth.

    In this case you can mark stuff he's taken where you think it's not right and bring that up at a later time (judge).

    about his accounts :
    There is no legal way.
    You're the computer guy, you can infect his computer with spyware and try to find out what internet URLs he accesses.
     
  8. BigHustlah

    BigHustlah Power Member

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    So call some other divorce attorneys, feel a few of them out. They will talk to you and probably do a free initial consultation. Don't ask your mom first, just do it. She will probably be a little weak about it and not want to be too aggressive, this is why you need to step up and take the reigns. Its for her own good.

    For the dad, buy a decent keylogger and get it on his computers. That might help you see if he has any secret accounts that he isn't splitting evenly (or at all) with your mom.
     
  9. oblivion19

    oblivion19 Senior Member

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    i second the keylogger opinion...

    If he is someone who uses pc a lot, install a keylogger..

    If he is someone who uses cell a lot, get the spy software that records all conv.. Im sure you can find it out on google..

    If he uses the landline. just bug it..

    Basically, spy and you will know what he is up to.....
     
  10. justone

    justone Elite Member

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    After all it's his dad, I am sure there are a lot of things he really does not wanna know.
    I'd be cautious regarding spyware ;)

    I'd try to solve the basic stuff without a lawyer or judge, it makes it easier and better for both sides if they can agree on stuff like "who takes what". You can still talk to the lawyer to get professional and legal advice on it.
    And things where both sides can not agree are just left over for a judge to decide.
     
  11. Mr.Whitehat

    Mr.Whitehat Senior Member

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    Approach a good lawyer and make proof of your current belongings is the only way, i think.
     
  12. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    as for hidden assets, talk to a local judgment collector or a private detective who specializes in finding hidden assets. move fast on this, as this guy probably has everything well hidden.

    also, compile his private info (ssn, bank info, passport info, etc.) so that you can better trace his moves...
     
  13. Pofecker

    Pofecker Senior Member Premium Member

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    Problem with divorces (other than the obvious) is that the laws are different from state to state.

    IMO, the first step is to talk with a professional or at least a consultation to find out the proper way to tackle this.

    Doing something right now without knowing what matters in the eyes of the law could be counter productive and potentially harm your mothers case.
     
  14. Bugalugs

    Bugalugs Regular Member

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    You must get advice from womens advocate groups. They will fight like tigers to ensure a womens rights in these cases and let you know all the things that are necessary to be done.

    Generally these are free services but they need to be contacted now.
     
  15. S M W

    S M W Junior Member

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    thank you so much everyone for the great advice. i will start with some of it tomorrow.
     
  16. redtide1969

    redtide1969 BANNED BANNED Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Good luck with it SMW...I would do the same thing for my Mom