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out with the wife

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by proxygo, Aug 23, 2013.

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  1. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    so, im out shopping with the wife today, and we have a routine
    every week [ every ] when we go shopping we buy the dog
    a toy, a ball or a teddy or something.

    anyways we walk passed a sports store, and out side is a basked
    with small footballs in them , so she reaches into the basket and
    feels 1 of the footballs, probably to see if 1 bite and it will be burst .

    not what i was thinking, i looked across at her and said,
    thats my girl always happy to put her hand down below
    and feel some balls..

    thing was, there where at least 10 people around the boxes
    housing the footballs, and i walked of pissing myself laughing

    she looks across and says - was there any need for that -
    i quipped back - this is me after all - do you expect anything less
     
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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2013
  2. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    He who laughs last, laughs longest.
    Mistake corrected. ;)
     
  3. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    here we say do you expect anything less
    it means , you no what im like

    do you expect anything less in this instance is correct
     
  4. gullsinn

    gullsinn Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    lol, you edited the thread what you wrote before just curious about that.
     
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  5. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    i didnt edit the part he mentioned because it is worded correctly

     
  6. The Scarlet Pimp

    The Scarlet Pimp Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    i think "anything different" would also be accurate.
     
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  7. hatemachine

    hatemachine Regular Member

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    cool story bro
     
  8. Goal Line Technology

    Goal Line Technology Senior Member

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    anyways....

    lets get back on topic guys.... :0

    now, about those balls.... ? lol :)
     
  9. ShadeDream

    ShadeDream Elite Member

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    He who laughs last, laughs longest.
    I guess it depends how you look at it. :)
     
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  10. proxygo

    proxygo Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    well its how we say it in the uk
    so thats good enough for me
     
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  11. OMGWTFISTHIS

    OMGWTFISTHIS Power Member

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    The truth hurts, sometimes.
     
  12. Nigel Farage

    Nigel Farage BANNED BANNED

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    After a major media news story about a lesbian that did her own home-made artificial insemination with a turkey baster (big syringe thing you use to inject broth into the turkey's butt), I'm in Target with my g/f and there's a couple of other women in the aisle, looking at the kitchen implements and I grab the turkey baster, look at her and say in a big voice "Wanna get pregnant?" and all the women in the aisle sort of groan-laughed and told her she should get rid of me, that I was some kind of obnoxious buffoon or something. I thought it was hilarious, and those women were stupid cunts. They were all fat anyways, and frankly the only way semen would be able to get injected into their flabby cooches is by something just like a turkey baster, so maybe the truth hurts.

    How DO obese women get pregnant, anyways. I mean, really. There's no amount of cialis or viagra in the world that could make that even possible for me. I figure there must be some really sick dudes out there, able to achieve & maintain in the naked presence of a 300 lb. wildebeast. I figure those guys are probably the most dangerous men in the world, because any man that could ejaculate into one of those hairy mammoths is someone I don't want to fuck with.

    Maybe that's a new reality TV show. A contest where men have to be able to have sex with increasingly uglier, fatter and more hideous looking women. Call it something like "Main-Tain Your Pecker" and the audience could chant that at the beginning of every show. And then the contestents would come out, and they'd be like those porn star guys, you know, walking around with their erection waving around like it's nothing, and then they'd have all the hideous women in glass tubes on display, and there'd be a wheel like "Wheel of Fortune" and the audience would chant "Main-Tain Your Pecker" when Contestent #1, proxygo from the UK spun the wheel. And then there would be the interviews in between the challenges where the Interview guy (or gal) would ask the Contestent detailed questions like "what do you think about in order to get an erection" and "What kinds of erection-enhancing drugs to you take" and the Contestant could tell them about elephant porn, and high-protein enemas and other "tricks of the trade", and maybe there could be some kind of Lance Armstrong-like scandal where it is discovered that one of the Contestants has an illegal prosthetic device surgically inserted into his penis that blows his dick up like a balloon when he clenches his butt cheeks and we only discover this while, during the show, some fat, hairy wildebeast, in a moment of empassioned orgasmic release grabs the Contestent by his buttocks while he's fucking her and forces him in & out by squeezing his butt-cheeks and meanwhile he's screaming horrific, blood curdling screams because she's blowing his dick up with the penis-pump thing in his rectum and finally POP! his dick explodes inside her and blood starts spraying everywhere and then when he pulls out, there's nothing left but a short little stump of shredded meat and he's spraying blood all over the floor, the wildebeast, the Announcer contest dude and even some of the audience would get blood on them, and the women in the audience would shriek in horror while the men in the audience would just sit there terrified, with constipated looks on their faces while they protectively clutched at their genitals with both hands and prayed that they weren't next.

    THAT would be a great TV show.
     
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    Last edited: Aug 23, 2013
  13. ibmethatswhoib

    ibmethatswhoib Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    What are you on? Hook me up!!


     
  14. mudbutt

    mudbutt Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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  15. kaylanewett

    kaylanewett Power Member

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    This post officially mindfucked me..
     
  16. mickyfu

    mickyfu Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Have you mastered the art of being able to use a computer whilst under the influence of LSD?
     
  17. Conor

    Conor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    While this is a funny story, and Proxygo is a cool guy, I can't stand the grammar mistakes here. It literally causes me pain to see such things...
     
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  18. avi619

    avi619 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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  19. Chris22

    Chris22 Regular Member

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    It figuratively causes me much pain to see incorrect use of the word 'literally'. Perhaps you should look at your own grammar before you call others out on it.
     
  20. Conor

    Conor Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Haha, I knew that was coming. I thought it would be funny to imagine grammar so bad it would literally cause pain to me. I know what irony means though.
     
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