Only Clickbank Professionals... I Need Your Opinion On This...

teddym

teddym

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Hi Everyone,

I just launched my new (and first!) Clickbank product. It's a green smoothie cleansing & weight loss ebook.

I am having a hard time driving sales. Clickbank shows 3165 hops, 55 order form impressions, but only 1 sale.

I need some fresh eyes to look into this copy, and who is better than BHW pro's ?

http://www.smoothierecipes.us/smoothie-ebook-revive-2/

We all have different experiences in the online marketing world and unique insights.

I want to know your opinion:

1. What is in your opinion the strongest part of the copy
2. What is in your opinion the weakest part of the copy
3. If it was your copy, what would you add to it? how would you change the existing copy?

The BHW that will provide the most valuable answer will get a humble appreciation gift of 50$

Thank you !
 
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Hi man, you really need a landing page with a quality video, something like most new clickbank products... like this redsmoothiedetoxfactor dot com (is not my site) good luck!
 
GhostVision said:
Hi man, you really need a landing page with a quality video, something like most new clickbank products... like this redsmoothiedetoxfactor dot com (is not my site) good luck!
Click to expand...

Yeah, I am working on producing high quality video. Do you have any more comments or suggestions ?

Thanks!
 
it just doesn't look appealing to me seeing how to make a smoothie you need a blender and blenders come with smoothie guides.
 
Landing page is not clear, all I can see is an opt-in form offering a FREE ebook. It's bad technique, because you are the seller, you are here to make sales not to give something for free. Leave that to affiliates.

You need to completely rework your landing page. Good headline, VSL with a script that will make add to cart button appear after some time and a few testimonials in your landing page are a MUST. Make your landing page simple and responsive.

One more thing, consider changing your domain to .COM

Regards,
Rolas_c
 
Need to slow down on that massive wall of text and fake reviews, maybe try and downsize the amount, rewrite so they actually sound like different people or create en subpage for "more reviews" instead of having 15-20 on your main site.

You give a 15 min counter for a discounted offer, but I don't think I could get through the wall of text within that time......

btw I am not a clickbank pro, I am just good at seeing other peoples mistakes :)
 
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The video is always convert better, so try to add a VSL to your landing page.
 
Bleh drop shipping is the way to go for me via CB but whatever
 
I sell quite a lot of books both fiction and non-fiction and I will be honest there is a lot wrong with your landing page. You need to learn how to write landing pages that do not scream scam and are aesthetically pleasing. Go and find the best selling product in your niche and COPY their website landing page and tweak it for your product. Or if you cannot be bothered doing that pay a professional to do it for you. Otherwise I am afraid you will continue to struggle.
 
Way too much text prior to the call to action.
 
Yes, I am surprised, that you even managed to make a sale with this lp.
 
Your copy is below average (I've seen worse), is full of unspecific terms("most health problems", "changed life", "faster metabolism"), which is a proven conversion-killer, and contains double-digit grammar errors("is 21 pounds off", have instead of has, etc). Your 3k hops directed at a good offer as an affiliate would has (hehe) made you 10x more money. If you want to write the sales copy yourself, you need to go over basic grammar rules (google common grammar mistakes for writers, etc), then go over to the mktgexperiments channel on youtube and watch every video while taking notes.

I'd say the worse part of the copy is the vague and unspecific headline. You need to sit down for hours and think about how the visitor feels while reading your page. "A simple combination of two fruit juices burns 4 pounds per week" is a great headline I just made up, however then you'll have an 80% refund rate because noone will experience those results, so you need to think loooong and hard about every sentence in the copy. There are dozens of factors. Every paragraph (the headline is a paragraph in this definition) buys you the visitor reading the next one, so you're optimizing a complex though-sequence, which can be ruined by just one bad sentence in the middle or even at the end. Then, you need to make your e-book secret hard to implement, so that when he doesn't lose weight, he blames himself for not following your steps and doesn't blame you, otherwise he'll get a refund. If your e-book is "just drink 20oz of prune juce every morning", everyone who bought the book will try that, and once he doesn't get a result he'll just get a refund.

Since every person has already read countless promises about quick weight loss, you need an unique angle to catch attention and sell the reader to continue reading the next sentence/paragraph. "Secret revealed: doctor shows you how to lose 20pounds" is a horrible headline, the reader immediately knows he'll learn nothing new.
 
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I absolutely agree with alexa_s!

There are many errors in punctuation, general grammar.
My suggestion would be to hire someone to thoroughly proofread this text.
 
alexa_s said:
Your copy is below average (I've seen worse), is full of unspecific terms("most health problems", "changed life", "faster metabolism"), which is a proven conversion-killer, and contains double-digit grammar errors("is 21 pounds off", have instead of has, etc). Your 3k hops directed at a good offer as an affiliate would has (hehe) made you 10x more money. If you want to write the sales copy yourself, you need to go over basic grammar rules (google common grammar mistakes for writers, etc), then go over to the mktgexperiments channel on youtube and watch every video while taking notes.

I'd say the worse part of the copy is the vague and unspecific headline. You need to sit down for hours and think about how the visitor feels while reading your page. "A simple combination of two fruit juices burns 4 pounds per week" is a great headline I just made up, however then you'll have an 80% refund rate because noone will experience those results, so you need to think loooong and hard about every sentence in the copy. There are dozens of factors. Every paragraph (the headline is a paragraph in this definition) buys you the visitor reading the next one, so you're optimizing a complex though-sequence, which can be ruined by just one bad sentence in the middle or even at the end. Then, you need to make your e-book secret hard to implement, so that when he doesn't lose weight, he blames himself for not following your steps and doesn't blame you, otherwise he'll get a refund. If your e-book is "just drink 20oz of prune juce every morning", everyone who bought the book will try that, and once he doesn't get a result he'll just get a refund.

Since every person has already read countless promises about quick weight loss, you need an unique angle to catch attention and sell the reader to continue reading the next sentence/paragraph. "Secret revealed: doctor shows you how to lose 20pounds" is a horrible headline, the reader immediately knows he'll learn nothing new.
Click to expand...

Absolutely agree. Its hard to get sales in such a competitive market with a huge sales letter that provides vague, "artificially sounding" information. With the numerous products and sales pages out there you have to keep track and make yours somehow stand out, or at least make the customer feel like yours may be the right opinion.
 
As a complete outsider... with fresh eyes on seeing a clickbank based page... my thoughts:
When I see that the scroll bar became smaller than a centimeter on the right... wow. That's way too much text.
Only the insane smoothie lover would read all of that.
Grammar is pretty bad in allot of paragraphs.
Needs more H1, H2, H3 sectional divisions.

I enjoyed it up to the sad girl pic.... the heart problems, etc. boxes are good.

But then you just keep slamming them with testimonials and all that other stuff, I just started scrolling.. and scrolling.... almost scrolled past, where ASKED FOR THE SALE!

I would make that section where you are asking for the sale... a full width section with a different color background. Like a stopping point... and then Underneath that... the testimonials.
 
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