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Need help with my girlfriend

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by mightybh, Jun 21, 2008.

  1. mightybh

    mightybh Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    ok this is what happening,

    my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

    see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 16 the girls are 15)

    and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz

    so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

    "no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."

    So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared.

    then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

    ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.

    i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.

    any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?
     
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  2. Pofecker

    Pofecker Senior Member Premium Member

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    rotfl, put it in her ass!
     
  3. mightybh

    mightybh Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Do I need more butter for that?
     
  4. Pofecker

    Pofecker Senior Member Premium Member

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    Without a doubt!
     
  5. nicksor

    nicksor BANNED BANNED

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    copy pasta ftl
     
  6. unlimitedpostings

    unlimitedpostings BANNED BANNED

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    ROFLMAO... How do you even come up with something like this?
     
  7. mightybh

    mightybh Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    Oh come on! This stuff cracked me up. Does not have the same effect if you just link it to another forum.

    unlimitedpostings

    I did not... Nicksor ruined all the fun :( I could have played along otherwise :D
     
  8. unlimitedpostings

    unlimitedpostings BANNED BANNED

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    I'm still laughing about this... I was really reading it and somewhat believing it until you said you gave her two n64 games. Don't we all wish it was that easy. Nowadays, they all want 2 PS3 games and a bluray disc. That adds up.
     
  9. nicksor

    nicksor BANNED BANNED

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    mine wanted a house with a pool, two kids, and a minivan. :(
     
  10. h1dd3n

    h1dd3n Regular Member

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    i hope wherever u got this story its not real because its so retarded it blows my mind.
     
  11. themagician

    themagician Regular Member

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    ...Offer to kiss it better!

    themagician
     
  12. barsha

    barsha Registered Member

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    Oh man.
    You got me for sure.
    I am stil lauphing and probably will be for a long time.
    Genius, what can I say.
    And you are only 16?
     
  13. patrick6411

    patrick6411 Regular Member

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    I say kiss it and promise never to do it again lol
     
  14. battman323

    battman323 Regular Member

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    ROFL

    That was hilarious. I think the proper thing to do in this situation is to give her a tranquilizer shot, clean her body from any evidences that indicate you, and leave her in her bed - then if she ever mentions it act like she's bonkers and dreamed the whole thing and the dream was so real that she burned her cooter with her brain.
     
  15. HaRRo

    HaRRo Elite Member

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    This kinda post cracks me up and cheers me up all day lmao
     
  16. mightybh

    mightybh Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    No, I'm 22. The story is all made up I assume :D
     
  17. mak111

    mak111 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    im 17, kinda a minority on this forum being so young and running (well, trying to run) my projects :p

    i laughed sooo hard!! but i knew something was wrong.. hahahaha good one bro
     
  18. mightybh

    mightybh Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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  19. deviatus

    deviatus Power Member

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    hahahahahahaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaa
     
  20. Zeprokon

    Zeprokon Newbie

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    Wow - I think the futures market of N64 games is going to be wild on Monday.

    Zeprokon