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My mother has cancer, I need advice

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by CClark56, Jul 21, 2012.

  1. CClark56

    CClark56 Regular Member

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    Hi everyone, I know I haven't posted much, but I need to be sure I have all my ducks in a row, and this is a pretty financially smart forum and maybe someone has been in the same situation. I just don't want to get screwed over, usually stuff, financial stuff isn't a big issue when your mother has terminal cancer and has declined rapidly in just two weeks, but I'm an only child, my mother is literally the only family I have, period, I need to be sure I'll be okay after she's passed on. She was just diagnoised 2 weeks ago, we just thought she had spinal fractures that caused her back pain, she had back surgery but it didn't fix the pain, got so bad I had to take her to the ER and they found tumors up and down her spine, it all originated from her lung.

    I was filing for disability for her, which was a crap load of paperwork, but with how quickly shes declined I've decided to just leave it alone, I've also filed for Medicaid and food stamps, I have a $700 overdue mortgage payment I need to pay, I just barely have the money for that. I've gotten a quick deed done and a power of attorney. I've talked with a lawyer but he didn't really have many answers for me. We have two vehicles under her name. Idk, I just feel lost, I would have never thought I'd have to think about this until maybe 10 - 20 years from now. :(
     
  2. Mrnewbie

    Mrnewbie Jr. VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    First off I just want to say you and your mother are in my prayers. I am so sorry you have to go through something like this and I think I can speak as a whole here in saying that we all wish you and your mother our positive thoughts and we feel your pain. I wish I could help you out more and realize you have all of us here at BHW behind you!!!!

    Edit: I will be away most of today but if you want someone to just talk to or listen I am on skype.
     
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    Last edited: Jul 21, 2012
  3. NeoPat

    NeoPat Power Member

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    Hold on mate your mothers been diagnosed with cancer and your worried about how your going to survive financially after shes passed on?
     
  4. hillsb

    hillsb Registered Member

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    My mother had cancer for 12 years before she lost her battle last month at only 48. What hospital has she been going to? We are lucky to live near a great cancer hospital that saved her life at least 30 times in those 12 years. If you need any help or advice pm me.
     
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  5. angelas111

    angelas111 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    basically get everything out of her name, cars included because the second she passes the power of attorney is useless. btw, i am very sorry to hear that.
     
  6. moneygig

    moneygig BANNED BANNED

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    Your mother just dianosed with a maglinant tumour or a benign tumour? You can try to talk to doctor to remove tumour surgically, radiotherapy or chemoterapy. But if it's a benign tumour, you MUST too remove it as it may develope into a cancerous tumour or the cell will break free from the tumour and spread through blood circulatory system and form secondary tumour.

    Btw, your mom is dianosed with cancer, you should be in greeve, not instead concern about the money and how will you survive. This point, you make me feels bad for her, NOT YOU.
     
  7. hillsb

    hillsb Registered Member

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    The executor of the will can change ownership of anything once the death certificate is issued.
     
  8. techcrunked

    techcrunked Regular Member

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    sorry to hear about your mother mate.
     
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  9. $hekhar

    $hekhar Registered Member

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    My Advice is Stay away from Chemo and radiation...GO for Gerson therapy it works 100 times better than Chemo and radio and it not expensive as chemo and radio..
     
  10. bertbaby

    bertbaby Elite Member

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    Feel your pain since I'm going through a similar horror story. Under Medicaid they can't take everything because you were living with her. Look for third party agencies that can give you advice on the bureaucracy and paperwork.
     
  11. CClark56

    CClark56 Regular Member

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    Okay, first, I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, that would be pointless. I've been taking care of her this whole time, doing everything I can. It's malignant, as I stated, it has spread from her lung to her spine. You must realize though, you have to go through the final planning and financial things, obviously that has slipped your mind, or maybe you don't have to bother with that in your life, but this is the real world and you work 40 hours a week on min wage, take care of your dying mother, the only family you have, and bills are piling up with hardly enough money to keep a roof over both of our heads. I'm not on BHW for sympathy, I'm here to be sure I will have somewhere to live and that I've covered my bases since everything is in her name. She's had radiotherapy, but recently she's gotten too weak to go to treatments. She has tumors, as I stated, if you'd of read, up and down her spine. Hospice has been helping me take care of her as much as possible, she's comfortable by way of pain meds.
     
  12. franzpick

    franzpick Newbie

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    Save her, check this out usfilmsDOTea29DOTcomSLASHcancer-the-forbidden-cures_1358726DOThtml

    Good Luck and ... let me know
    Franz
     
  13. 2011nfl

    2011nfl Supreme Member

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    There is nothing wrong with that. He is worried about how he will survive without family, and is turning to bhw for comfort. He has accepted the present circumstances, and now has to prepare for his future.

    To The OP: If you need anyone to talk to or to pray with, don't hesitate to pm me or Oldsalt. I will pray for you regardless, and I will also pass this on to him so he will too. Someone who also helped me alot by listening is BassTrackerBoats, and there are many more people here that will lend you an ear if you need it. All you have to do is ask.
     
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  14. CClark56

    CClark56 Regular Member

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    And thank you for your prayers, I appreciate it, I just don't want to seem harsh, but some people obviously don't realize that there IS a financial, property and final planning aspect to all of this. Hopefully not but you may come across the same thing I'm going through and realize that assets mean a lot when you don't have much your self, to the point you'd nearly have to live in a shelter.

    And it's not like she's just been diagnosed, we've looked down every path, none of them are good. She's on Hospice for a reason. This has all struck within a few weeks, the nurses suspect the tumors have spread to the brain, which has caused her confusion, which just takes the life out of me seeing her like that, but I have to be strong around her, not show fear and worry. Hospice combined with my care has her as comfortable as she can be right now.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2012
  15. Choronzon

    Choronzon Power Member

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    Keep your chin up mate, everyone on here who has a conscience is thinking of you and your mother. I am going through the same thing but cancer is not always a death sentence. I have just finished chemo and radio therapy and am currently awaiting surgery.

    Being positive can be half the battle. I'm not sure if this is helpful but some kind soul on here pointed me to the Burzinsky Clinic
    HTML:
    http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/
    and his antineoplastin treatment for cancer.
     
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  16. ThreadKiller

    ThreadKiller Power Member

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    Hey there. Even though I do not know you, do know that I have the utmost sympathy for you and your mom. All things considering, I hope you manage to see some light somewhere. This is an issue that has hit me more than once. My advice, not that it affects the core issue, stay away from the so called miracle cures. I see two guys have posted about those already. Lung cancer with mets up and down the spine is serious shit. You can hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Even though the worst might happen remember that there is usually some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing more I can say. Best wishes.
     
  17. imperial444

    imperial444 Elite Member

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    Pray for you and your mom
     
  18. CClark56

    CClark56 Regular Member

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    That's true, I know cancer research has really made an improvement in the past years. But honestly, if anyone could see her now, you would understand where I'm coming from. She is bed bound, incoherent and very ill. The nurses and doctors have told us countless times that she doesn't have long and that the cancer is very violent and fast. It's not like in the movies, where there is a bucket list of things to do before one passes away. She sleeps all day, he body rejects food, she's very, very ill. There is a reason we are in the final planning stages...
     
  19. CClark56

    CClark56 Regular Member

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    Thank you for understanding, I don't nor would I ever put her through anything that would cause pain or upset her or would just be more trouble than it's worth, she's been in pain for 3 - 4 months with her spinal fractures alone.
     
  20. agente808

    agente808 Regular Member

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    Hi, I am so sorry for what you are going through, and being alone makes things harder...
    You are in the US, patients with terminal diseases are eligible for medicare even if they are not yet 65. You should sign her up for it, there are things they can do to help with expenses.

    Also, if she doesn't have it already, if she ever worked, or was EVER married to someone who was eligible, she can and should sign up for social security benefits. (which will probably retroactive from when she was diagnosed).

    she may also be eligible for SSI.

    Some of these programs have death benefits as well, to help with funeral costs.

    You are doing the right thing, to be prepared. You don't want to have to figure all of this out while you are grieving.
    AND you are doing the right thing to be as financially responsible as possible.

    There are great support forums, and lots of great information at: http://www.cancer.org

    my thoughts and prayers are with you