for about a week ive been afk BHW the only person on BHW who Knew why was BLACKHIT. Dec 6th was my birthday - it was also the day my mom passed away last week. having to deal with a funeral and a death on birthday has knocked the wind out of my sails and i probably wont be back till after Christmas . those on bhw who think they no me only see half the side of me , my temper my attitude which i got from her. for the last 10 yrs my life was taken up with taking care of my mom 5 days a week with my misses , doing cooking, cleaning, ironing, washing, gardening,shopping and i did it gladly to give her an easier life - sometimes the person you think you no isnt the person you really no at all . the things ille miss most - my mom was hot headed - razor sharp tongue and witt to match and in her prime she cut like a razor and we fed of each other with being so similar in nature. she was never the huggy kissy type but - i always new deep down. anyone around the forum i think knows me to call a spade a spade - say what you see , be honest and i hope that the last 10 yrs she was hear, i did my best to make her home life the best i could, and i hope it made up for the first 30yrs of my life being a mill stone round her neck - i hope so anyways. in the end the best gift she gave me was to stand on my own to feet, never be afraid to speak out if the cause is right and dam what others think of you , never lie , dont steal and be good to those who deserve it. well you have peace now - 69 was to young to go , now im left with those 5 days and no idea what to do with them, if you can see this mom when my time comes ille be paying you a visit for leaving on my birthday with no warning and leaving me like a submarine that's been torpedoed. final words ide also like to thank the users of my service who understand i wont be around for at least a month - even though you still get 1/2 saying i payed wheres my daily product , told them once nicely when they asked again that demon in me[thanks mom] told them to fck off till this is over. oh and MAT LOOPLINE thanks for supplying to some of my users to cover my service while im away . that's it. time to drag this sunken submarine in for repairs .. its broken .