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My journey to beat addiction and stop with gambling

Discussion in 'My Journey Discussions' started by weeman123, Dec 17, 2019.

  1. weeman123

    weeman123 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Last period I was thinking about opening this kind of a journey and today I decided to do it because i'm keeping gambling and destroying my life every fu*king day. Hope this will help me and i really appreciate your opinions.

    Recap:

    I'm tired of this shit, I have very big addiction and simple I can't stop with it. Gambling is practically destroying my life. My dad was a gambler, he lost our house and he got huge and a lot of loans ( I'm not sure if he will be able to pay it back in his entire life). I have very bad childhood because of that, my dad was loosing all the money and he was very bad, that's the reason why my parents got divorced. Gambling is the reason why I had bad childhood.

    Few years ago, when I was earning a lot of money I started to going to casinos and there I lost a lot of money. I stopped to work hard with IM and all earned money i losted with gambling.

    Then I stopped to have passive income from IM, I take a risk and I got about $2000 loan so I can invest in graphic cards and start mining ethereum and other crypto-coins. When I got that money big part of the money I lost in casinos. Then i had about 2 years problems to give back that money and have big monthly fees. Tired of the loans I decided to go in Germany and work as a cleaner for 3 months so I can get out of that sh*t and be debt-free. Working in Germany as a cleaner was hell for me, every day when i wake up I told to myself ''You deserve this, you was stupid, how you can use to gamble and keep losing the money, you piece of sh*t``. Every day there I was thinking about it and i could't believe how stupid I use to be, I told deeply in me that I'm never gonna do that again.

    After i got back to my city (Octomber, 2 months ago) I got finally debt-free and I didn't played for 1 week, then i decided to spend $1 for fun and after that i lost more than $500 in few days.

    Now, everyday I'm keeping gambling, that's stronger than me and I can't control myself, no matter how much money I have in my pocket I'm ending spending them all. This is making me very big panic and depression to me, I was crying and punch myself thousands times when I lost money and keep promising that I will never gonna do it again but... I have very bad feeling because that money will help a lot to my mother or father for buying food, they need help, but i'm lost all that money in the fu*king SLOT machines. I hate myself because sometimes I'm not going to enjoy and take my girlfriend to dinner or do some stuff like that which is just few $$ but i'm keeping losing big amount of money.

    I don't really know how to escape from this... I was thinking that I could invest all that money in something smart and things like that, I was reading a lot of bad things about gambling, I was watching hundreds of documentary about gambling addiction but nothing till now helped me. Despite all the things I knew about it, that gambling gonna destroy my life and all that things I still keep going and play. No matter if i have $10, $50, $100, $500 in my pocket i'm ending spending them all. Really thousands and thousands of times I keep doing the same so I'm not sure what to write.

    I know quitting with gambling will be very hard for me, I know that again maybe I will gamble but I hope I will escape from this and this thread will help me for it.

    Progress:

    Day 1 (Today): $40 (lost)

    I will probably update this thread once a week, or if I lose any money I will give updates immediately. I will close this thread when I haven't played and gamble for 2 months in a row.

    If you got any question or tips about this, please let me know, I look forward to hearing form you!
     
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  2. rajlorfel

    rajlorfel Newbie

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    Experiencing any form of addiction is always horrendous for those involved. Have you ever considered opting for therapy to cope with your addiction?

    I wish you well on your journey to recovery.
     
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  3. ladyboyboom69

    ladyboyboom69 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Damn my best friend was addicted to gambling. Its a horrible addiction, just as bad as drugs. I hope you beat it. Just realize the only one that wins is the Casino
     
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  4. Lost Mirror

    Lost Mirror Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    An impulsive or an emotional person should never gamble, Good luck
     
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  5. SultanSultan

    SultanSultan Registered Member

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    Good luck, brother. Gambling addiction is a bitch. Did you ever try to understand the mathematics of slots? Deal with the mathematical aspect and you will realize that nobody but the house can win in this game. You will never have a edge over the casino. Many people already know that but don't want to believe it or are thinking 'not me'. Understanding the mathematics behind all this will make you never place another bet.
     
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  6. ziko12345

    ziko12345 Senior Member

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    I know how you feel bro. Even when i was not loosing i felt so stressed out of fear i was gonna lose. My life is so much better now and i dont even think going back.
    I hope you make it.
     
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  7. weeman123

    weeman123 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Yeah that's true, but I never involved my close ones in this, I'm just feeling very horrendous when I think that i could help to them instead gambling them all.
    I'm very sorry about your friend, I think this is worst vice that exist in this world. There are examples where people destroyed the families, lost houses, did suicides and things like that...
    Very true mate... There are some peoples who are not emotional and they can fight better with this kind of addiction.
    Thank you very much! Yeah that's the worst addiction that exist in this world. I know about everything bro. I tried hundreds times to understand the mathematics of slots, I had watched a lot of documentaries about it, I know that but still sometimes i can't control and i'm going to gamble, a lot of times i'm lying to myself that I can win some and you know... I don't understand why simple I can't stop. I really want to succeed to never place another bet!
    Thank you! Yes it feels suck... I feel the same stress even when I'm not losing or playing...
    Thank you!!!
     
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  8. Apriori

    Apriori Registered Member

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    You should try CBT( cognitive behavior therapy ).

    You play slots machines a lot, right?
     
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  9. TomTheCat

    TomTheCat Power Member

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    OP get yourself a gambling license. This way you will make loads of money from owning a online casino and you can still gamble.
     
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  10. Otobong

    Otobong Registered Member

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    Sadly, am currently passing through this phase too. I found out for the past 2 months that I have been so addicted to gambling (football gambling). Few minutes ago I lost about 90% of my investment into the platform. Its making me feel depressed. I have made up my mind to finally quit gambling by just moving on and not looking back or try to chase my lose.

    I hope you can do the same too. Just shift your attention to something else and as time goes on you'll soon forget about this and move on with your life. They say time heals and I know in no time I will recover from this awful experience.
     
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  11. rajlorfel

    rajlorfel Newbie

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    I am not sure how to only quote your response to me. I meant that if your family member is aware of your addiction or how your addiction is ruining your life, that this may also feel devastating to them. Knowing that you have good intentions to your family and to yourself, I hope you can hold on to this thought.

    Somebody else suggested a therapy (CBT). Hopefully, you can consider some form of therapy so you can find a way to cope with your behavior and understand your psyche. Understanding and self-awareness oftentimes lead to behavioral change.
     
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  12. linuxsmtp

    linuxsmtp Power Member

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    Gambling is worst than drug addiction ...
     
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  13. Highr0ll34

    Highr0ll34 Regular Member

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    I feel you, buddy.

    There's a story I don't tell anyone because it's not something I'm proud of. When I was younger right after graduating college (English studies) I moved to the UK, started working as a bartender in a very popular cocktail bar in a busy tourist destination (Windermere Lake District). You meet the crowd of all kinds from very rich to the poor to movie stars. One thing they all got in common is the love for party & drugs, after 2 years of constant work and party I got hooked on white, then you start to look for something to "keep busy". I ended up playing slots as they're everywhere in the UK, got in deep. Addicted both to speed and gambling I spent the next 5 years pretending my life is great when in reality my soul was crying at laud. I spent around maybe 190K in sterling pounds both on drugs and gambling. I stopped the gym, stopped everything and just kept on sniffing and spinning, 7 years in total.

    To register and play during these years at online casinos I always used the same login "highr0ll34"

    I remember this one night I lost like 20 thousand pounds after just winning it, it was the most disgusting and shameful I ever felt. The wake-up call came and I thought that this is no way to spend my life. I simply packed my bag, took a train to Liverpool and bought a one-way ticket back home. I had no money and moved-in to my mom's. I had one set goal in mind and it was to never feel this again. I found BHW and started grinding methods, learning and doing everything I can.

    I asked for help at some point making a post, I didn't get much help but I kept the grind.
    https://www.blackhatworld.com/seo/adult-tube-website-2018-whats-next.1056561/

    I am now not worrying about anything and feel at the peak of my life.

    It's never too late - if you stay in the same "zone" it will never stop man. As scary as it is and sounds, you must leave the place you're in, leave your comfort area, set your mind on a new path and do whatever it takes.
     
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    Last edited: Dec 17, 2019
  14. weeman123

    weeman123 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Yeah, slot machines... I will re-search and see about CBT, thank you.
    How I can get gambling license? And I really don't want to gamble anymore
    I feel you buddy, after u lose the money it's the worst feeling in the world... Yeah I've been gambling too with football gambling, but in my opinion it's better to play with that than fu*king SLOT machines, in football gambling you have some chances but with slot machines there is no chances.
    It's hard to forget about this because this destroyed my life a lot, lost ton of money and now i'm broke without any passive income. It's very bad feeling... Thank you!
    That's true but I'm not telling to anyone what I'm doing so they don't know, my family members and my gf think that I'm not gambling anymore and they don't know that i lost a lot of money and that I have addiction... I feel very bad when I'm gambling and I hate myself but I can't control sometimes...
    From today I will try to not gamble anymore and play on that f***ing slot machines.
    So true.
    When I was younger (6-7 years ago) I started to work with different projects and I use to be successful and earn a lot of money with IM and i've been the most positive person with a lot of motivation and vision! Somehow I stopped to work and going to gym, I started to use drugs and go to rave parties, started to gamble a lot and here I am now... Without any passive income and broke asf with big depression and no energy for anything.
    Few years ago I lost my last saved $3000 in one night in Casino... I'm scared and I have panic because hundreds of time i lost my last money and had the worst feeling in the world but after that again I came back to gamble and again and again...

    In my city/country there is casino or betting house at every step, in my city which is small there is more than 100-200 casinos or betting houses. 20 seconds walking from my home and there are 4-5 different betting houses.

    I really want to escape from this but I feel very scared because I don't have any passive income right now and don't have any ideas...

    Thank you for your story and helping bro!
     
  15. Instaboy85

    Instaboy85 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    good luck my friend! I wish you all the best as I had a close family member battle with this addiction and created havoc upon his family.
     
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  16. Digital Pro

    Digital Pro Junior Member

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    I live in Las Vegas, pretty much the Gambling capital of the world. I am a gambler myself (Live Poker and Sports Only) but I have success with it using discipline and Money management. With that said, I am no one to cast a stone at you. Point is, I see it everyday. I hate to be blunt, but you have answered your own questions on why you need to quit. It's draining the life out of you. If you read through your original post you will see that you already know the reasons and answers. If you don't get it the first time, read it again. Best of luck in your quest to stop, I have seen friends go through the same thing. It's not easy, but you already know the answers.
     
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  17. TomTheCat

    TomTheCat Power Member

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    https://www.mga.org.mt/
     
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  18. FUTUR TIM

    FUTUR TIM Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Been there, done that. I've felt exactly what you're going through right now. I've never gambled again after consistently applying these two suggestions below:

    1. Do extensive research on dopamine. Right now, you're getting it unnaturally (slot machines). You need to force yourself to eat well, sleep well, etc.
    2. Find a way to travel frequently, move out of your damn place and start socializing with foreigners.
     
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  19. weeman123

    weeman123 Jr. VIP Jr. VIP

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    Thank you friend!

    Yeah bro I'm aware about that but that's what is addiction, I already know the reasons and answers, I understand that it's draining the life out of me but sometimes I can't control when in front of me someone is playing on the slot machines. The problem is because I have a lot of friends who are gambling everyday, there are a lot of sport betting houses and sometimes we are going to drink coffee in sport betting house, there while I'm sitting I'm watching other playing on the slot machines and that makes me wanna try to play on the machines.
    Yeah bro, I know i get a lot of dopamine and while I'm playing at that moment I'm not thinking about anything other than the winning... I'm like high while I'm playing and at that moment i'm not seeing the money as a real money just like a play money lol. I'm realizing what i did when i lose all the money.
    yeah at this moment I'm not eating well, sleep well and etc...
    Yeah I think this is damn place because when I was in Germany 3 months I didn't gamble single money, here I'm surrounded with sport betting houses and Casinos in every step, where I live 20 seconds from my home and there are 5 different sport betting houses which have slot machines.
    Also I have a lot of friends and known people who are playing everyday.

    Thank you for the tips bro!
     
  20. vahidrk

    vahidrk Newbie

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    Perhaps nobody should ever gamble.
     
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