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My Girlfriend the Bar Marketer: How Would You Feel in My Situation

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by Kreylar, Nov 12, 2013.

  1. Kreylar

    Kreylar Newbie

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    So my girlfriend of five years is being offered an internship with a major beer company. In this internship it's her job to travel around to different bars during the night and basically party. Shes supposed to host competitions, offer free beers, and give out prizes. Shes basically supposed to spend her night mingling with all the patrons at these bars and convince them that her brand is the best.

    It's a really great opportunity for her because at the end of the year-long internship if they like her enough she will get hired on making 60K plus with full benefits, a company car and an expense account with opportunities to move up into much higher pay brackets later on.

    The whole thing concerns me though. I don't like the idea of her talking to 100+ drunk guys several times a week by herself. I don't have a problem with her going out to bars with a group of friends, but when shes on her own its different. That and it's basically her job to talk to as many people as she can.

    I'm not worried that she will cheat on me, and I trust her. But I don't trust all the drunk guys shes going to be around by herself. It doesn't help that she is very attractive and draws attention from guys just walking through a store.

    Am I blowing this out of proportion or am I being reasonable with my concerns? How would some of you guys feel if your significant other was going to be in the same situation?
     
  2. Xp3r7

    Xp3r7 Regular Member

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    Your concerns are reasonable, but you have to let her decide if this is what she wants :)
     
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  3. HelloInsomnia

    HelloInsomnia Jr. Executive VIP Jr. VIP Premium Member

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    You realize if any guys tries to get to fresh with her 5 more are going to step in to defend her. That's how we are, always willing to help out a lady to make us look good. But she will get hit on no doubt, just as she would if she were out with her friends so I wouldn't worry about it.
     
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  4. Kreylar

    Kreylar Newbie

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    Xp3r7 - Thanks for letting me know that I'm not crazy. I'm not trying to stop her from taking the job, I just told her my concerns and she acted like I was crazy. Despite me not liking the situation I told her to take the job because I know it's a great opportunity, it's just stressing me out at the same time.
     
  5. Kreylar

    Kreylar Newbie

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    That's a good point, it makes me feel a little better knowing that someone will probably stand up for her if anything bad happens. I just like being the one there to do it. I guess I'll just have to try and get over my insecurities, maybe I'll be a little more relaxed about it after she's gone out to the bar a few times and nothing bad happens.
     
  6. Duffers5000

    Duffers5000 Elite Member

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    As soon as those beer hounds hear she has a steady guy on board they will all back off.

    It's the bro code !
     
  7. Kreylar

    Kreylar Newbie

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    Duffers -

    That's a nice thought but I'm pretty sure the kinds of guys I'm worried about messing with her are the same kinds of guys who don't care if a girl is taken or not.
     
  8. Beven

    Beven Elite Member

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    I understand your concern completely and I have been in a similar position before. I'm sure your girl can look after herself!
     
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  9. RakeItIn

    RakeItIn Regular Member

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    Your concerns are reasonable, but that sounds like a AMAZING job!
     
  10. kirkonpolttaja

    kirkonpolttaja Senior Member

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    I'm "jealous" type like you OP, my instinct says that "NO!", but 'cause it's someone elses life.... you can say that you are concerned BUT you support her all the way.

    I think there is good thing in this, she is as WORK, she cant be cheating on you (if she did, you would find new one easily... i'm not being rude).
    There is always a change that she gives her phone number to few random people she finds secretely attractive, i'm not condoning this but you could always check her phone to make sure that there is no extra flirting messages besides yours.
    It's violation of privacy, but if you dont feel good about it... and decide to let her do it... it might balance universume a little? also dont read messages with thought, just look for flirty crap from other people, if you find some then make note for yourself and try to come up with something how you noticed this flirting person.

    Thanks god i havent visited thing like this, would brake my heart. I'm just sharing this information 'cause i'm interested in social engineering (reading people and manipulation, it's sub-category of hacking).
    I hope best for you and your girl!
     
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  11. Asif WILSON Khan

    Asif WILSON Khan Executive VIP Premium Member

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    "I'm not worried that she will cheat on me, and I trust her"

    Face it dude, that's not true or you wouldn't have started the thread.

    If you trust her then there is nothing to fear. You need to sit and talk to her openly. You KNOW she is going to be hit on, night after night.

    I am not trying to be an asshole (for a change) but depending how old you are and the fact you have been together 5 years, then chances are you will be separating soon.

    Two reasons:

    First, if she suspects you don't trust her or are being overprotective then this will cause problems. Even if you do trust her 100% you are going to have a niggling little doubt in the back of your mind that she might be playing around. This is going to cause you to be an asshole. You won't be able to help yourself.

    Two, you have been together 5 years. She is going to be partying every night. Does she want an overprotective boyfriend giving her grief or does she want to enjoy the party lifestyle?

    So there you have it, my analysis of the situation. I realise it is not pretty but I didn't want to sugar coat it for you.
    The best you can do is try to be a top bloke and support her.

    Good Luck
     
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    Last edited: Nov 12, 2013
  12. kirkonpolttaja

    kirkonpolttaja Senior Member

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    I'm "jealous" type like you OP, my instinct says that "NO!", but 'cause it's someone elses life.... you can say that you are concerned BUT you support her all the way.

    I think there is good thing in this, she is as WORK, she cant be cheating on you (if she did, you would find new one easily... i'm not being rude).
    There is always a change that she gives her phone number to few random people she finds secretely attractive, i'm not condoning this but you could always check her phone to make sure that there is no extra flirting messages besides yours.
    It's violation of privacy, but if you dont feel good about it... and decide to let her do it... it might balance universume a little? also dont read messages with thought, just look for flirty crap from other people, if you find some then make note for yourself and try to come up with something how you noticed this flirting person.

    Thanks god i havent visited thing like this, would brake my heart. I'm just sharing this information 'cause i'm interested in social engineering (reading people and manipulation, it's sub-category of hacking).
    I hope best for you and your girl!

    EDIT: Like Beven said, she can most likely defend herself. For some reason (biological) i cant get my head rest in easy though i know this, i feel like warrior and i need to hit my heavy axe to head of competiting males. This is how males work (cultures where flirting is not progressed like in scandinavia, we are one womans men and women sticks with one men. This is something which globalisation has done, made many men paranoid though theres no real reason).
     
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  13. LakeForest

    LakeForest Supreme Member

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    She will be approached, and she will do things that you would feel like it's cheating if you were there or knew.

    And you do the exact same things in the presence of attractive girls that would make her feel uncomfortable. And you think about it. Just like she does. And yet, relationships still work.

    Being attractive isn't easy, which is why you hear so many have low self esteem and play the "I'm awesome" game and try to find social value through less than appropriate methods.

    You can be perfect, an absolute 10 in every way, and you can still get cheated on, dumped, lied to, taken advantage of, abused and made to feel lower.

    As for cultural differences thinking some culture is more monogamous than others...lmao. Scandanavia? The place where Nordic mythology comes from? The people who went around the world spreading their seed? Are you serious(I have Scandanavian blood btw, so no hate, but our people love to love)? Go to clubs around the world, it's the same everywhere. Everyone's a slut. They can be committed, and even then they look and fantasize, and some touch "innocently," or have looser morals and think certain activities aren't cheating. This is ok, this is life. Do not be attached to someone as Buddhists would say. You are you and they are them, and you are sharing your time together but are not "together."

    Live it up yourself. Trust the other person, commit to what you think is right action, be open and honest to your partner about who you are, and live.

    I hope this put an equal amount of uncertainty and courage|hope|excitement for you to be the best you you can and let whatever may happen happen, because it does not reflect who you are. It may change your life or relationship dynamics, but that's a good thing because this is a sandbox and you can do whatever you want. Put value in yourself first, be the best you you can be. If she cheats, she lost you, you didn't lose her, or else the relationship was unbalanced. cmm(it's a fist) pound it brother
     
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    Last edited: Nov 12, 2013
  14. KevinK

    KevinK Junior Member

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    you voiced your opinion... she voiced hers...
    don't chase or things could get worse!

    you know what could be at stake... sound like it's 'your time' to step up to the plate (make $60,000+/yr)..
    there might be a few who would want to work a job like this, but she hasn't even really started yet.


    do you really think she'll be offered the $60,000 (do you think she'll work out for them?)
    I'm not so sure... it's simpler for them to continue to find new blood than to commit!! imo

    you are at the right place to learn and there's plenty of help here at this forum.
     
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  15. Panther28

    Panther28 Elite Member

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    Basically, your stuffed.

    Imagine you had to do the same except it was girls. 100's of drunk girls a week, putting out in your face. night after night after night.

    Your only hope is to pay her $61,000 to do your work.
     
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  16. kirkonpolttaja

    kirkonpolttaja Senior Member

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    In the end, let her do what she loves.
     
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  17. Theodore

    Theodore Power Member

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    It sounds a great experience! I know your probably worried about all the drunk lads hitting on her, but if she loves you nothing will happen, don't get me wrong she wont be able to tell them to F*ck off if they start trying it on because she is working and promoting the brand but that would be when the bouncers come in, these type of places have bouncers all over the place, and in my country they just love to have a reason to throw you out.

    I'm not going to lie to you, she is going to get hit on but I am sure she will just deal with it like she would when she is out with her friends.

    All I can say is support her and trust her, because whats a relationship without trust? Also you dont want her end up quitting and resenting you. There's my 2 soppy cents :p haha
     
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  18. Kreylar

    Kreylar Newbie

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    I agree with some of what you are saying. I'm really not worried about her cheating on me I think if that was a major concern for me we would already be broken up because she has had plenty of opportunities to do that. I'm more worried about her getting felt up by a bunch of horny guys that are half gone. I know that I have to be supportive and I'm going to be to the best of my abilities. I agree with you though, it will probably end up causing some fights down the road.
     
  19. Kreylar

    Kreylar Newbie

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    Thanks for the advice Theodore, you're right, if I cause her to quit the job shes going to end up resenting me. I just have to suck it up and stick it out for the year. Hopefully it pans out for her in the end, but either way the experience should help her marketing career later on.
     
  20. Kreylar

    Kreylar Newbie

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    Hah, thanks for the reassuring words. Guess I'll have to perfect my current technique and start paying her off. Nah, she's the type of woman who has to make her own money. Even if I made 100k+ she would still have a job. Damn woman.