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My ex won't let me see my kids. I lost my job and can't pay child support?

Discussion in 'BlackHat Lounge' started by StarBeltMarketer, May 22, 2010.

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  1. StarBeltMarketer

    StarBeltMarketer Junior Member

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    I have been a big part of my sons life for the past three years ever since he was born. And over a year for my daughter since she was born. But I lost my job and can't pay child support right now and can't afford a lawyer. A couple weeks ago she let my son call me on the phone we talked for a minute (he's 3 years old) and suddenly he started crying and asking if i was coming over to see him cause he missed me a lot. She felt sorry for him and let me go see him. But now I ask to talk to my son and she says she doesn't want to deal with him crying. And she won't let me see my kids now. What can I do if I can't afford a lawyer ?
     
  2. DebtFreeMe

    DebtFreeMe Regular Member

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    I think there is actually a non-profit group that helps fathers fight for their parental rights... You might want to look that up online... Obviously you know some of the more obvious things like, find a job, get a good place to live, all that so a judge will be willing to let you have joint custody.

    Good luck...
     
  3. lehpet

    lehpet Registered Member

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    That breaks my heart. Why, why, WHY do women insist using their children as pawns!??!?!? There is NOTHING my bf could do that would make me not let him see his kids, short of molesting or hurting them.

    Try this link for a list of some pro bono attorneys and also, Google "pro bono lawyer YOUR CITY."
    Code:
    http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/probono/directory.html
    This is a father's rights group I found by Googling "father's rights."
    Code:
    http://www.acfc.org/site/PageServer
    Good luck and my heart goes out to you and your children. :beat4:
    FYI: Be careful! Apparently this is a good niche because the first few listings on Google were sales pages for "father's survival guides" or some such shit. LOL!
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2010
  4. newss

    newss Junior Member

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    Get a JOB and pay child support! She doesn't have to let you see you kids if you fail to pay child support. You don't need a lawyer to tell you that.
     
  5. lehpet

    lehpet Registered Member

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    Everything in the entire fucking Universe is not about money! A guy who even bothers to post this up obviously cares about his kids. Why should the children be PUNISHED because he doesn't have money?

    The sentence "She doesn't have to let you see you kids if you fail to pay child support" is nauseating. LET him!?!?!? WTF...why wouldn't she WANT him to be a part of his kid's lives!??!?! Any woman who refuses to let a father be a part of his child's life because of money (or lack thereof) is the one with questionable parenting skills, as far as I'm concerned.

    Kids need their dad...PERIOD.
     
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  6. StarBeltMarketer

    StarBeltMarketer Junior Member

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    Thanks everyone for your comments. I think the thing that hurts me the most is thinking that my son might think I don't want to see him because I haven't come over to see him for awhile cause he doesn't know what's really going on.
    Yes I definitely need to get a job. I have been trying for over a month. Maybe in the meantime I will try to get a credit card or loan to try and pay what I owe on child support. It made me feel good to pay child support when I could. And it makes me feel bad that I owe so much now.
    But I also completely agree with lehpet . Me and my kids should be able to spend time together no matter how much money I have in the bank. I don't think my kids are sitting at home thinking : Gosh dad if you just had some money right now I would want to see you but you don't so I don't want to spend time with you.

    Thanks everyone for your support :)

    P.S. I don't need someone pm ing me a credit card or loan offer LOL
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2010
  7. BassTrackerBoats

    BassTrackerBoats Moderator Staff Member Moderator Jr. VIP

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    That's not even remotely accurate. If you have visitation rights, you have them whether you are current on your support or not.

    @OP, this may help you - http://www.fathersrightsinc.com/
     
  8. StarBeltMarketer

    StarBeltMarketer Junior Member

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    So I have been looking online for things that I can do about seeing my kids. I know I need a job, that's a given. But in the meantime I guess there are other things I can do. I found an odd suggestion on a discussion about this topic online somewhere.
    The suggestion said I could picket where she works. Like making signs that say " This employee will not let her kids see their dad" And have my friends hold up signs at the entryway of where she works. The funny thing is that she works at Walmart. So I think that would be quite a fun thing to do :)
    I'm not saying I will do it. It might just make things worse for me I don't know. But it's a fun thought :)
     
  9. irishandproud

    irishandproud Registered Member

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    Get Aggressive online and stop fucking around. There are 100's of people on this forum making 1k a day, learn how to do it and then get the best Lawyer in your State. This is how business is done.

    Don't leave anyone fuck with your Emotions or your Kids. If she did it to me, it would be WAR!!!
     
  10. justone

    justone Elite Member

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    I suggest to look up for those groups that help fathers first
     
  11. lclynnch185

    lclynnch185 BANNED BANNED

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    This is a damn meaningful quote. ;)
     
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  12. clyde

    clyde Elite Member

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    I have a dad that does exactly that (broke-ass 50+ y/o dude now), my mom has two jobs and all he does all day is gamble or get jealous whenever my mom talk to her somewhat hot co-worker.

    He's a free loader, sometime I wish he had left us when we were little.

    He has a younger brother who's also a dead beat etc. Family left him *wife+2 kids and I know for a fact that they're happier now (after leaving him).

    A "dad" without money is just a liability. From my experience, at least.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2010
  13. clyde

    clyde Elite Member

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    wait, so you can't support the kids and instead of looking for a job you decided to harass the mother at work, who's like, the kids only life-line?

    ...
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2010
  14. dsnking

    dsnking BANNED BANNED

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    sorry to hear that mate.
     
  15. StarBeltMarketer

    StarBeltMarketer Junior Member

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    @clade I am looking for a job right now, I apply to jobs everyday. I live in a small town so it's not like I can just walk down the street and see 100 help wanted signs on windows. I am also trying to make money online, have been trying for the last two years. I made $16 bucks yesterday !!! Wahoo!!. Just need to scale it up. If you would read the whole post you would have seen that it makes me feel good to pay child support. I want to support my kids financially so I don't consider myself to be a dead beat or a freeloader.
    And I didn't say I would picket where she works, its was just something suggested online somewhere. But what it would do is possibly get other people-her family or friends to tell her that what she is doing is mean and is not only hurting the dad but also hurting her kids.
    Honestly if I could take my kids away from my ex for awhile like a month or two I would do it. I know that sounds mean and I know it would probably hurt the kids as well. I know there would be some suffering involved. But I wouldn't do it to get back at her. I would gladly to it so that she would understand what it's like to have her kids taken away from her and for her to realize that our kids need and want both parents in their lives. It's a learning experience that she needs to go through. But it will never happen. I'm just saying that if I could I would.

    My kids and I are very close. They love me very much and I love them very much. There is a higher plane of thinking when you have kids that you love more than anything in the world. It goes beyond money and having nice things to play with. If I knew they would be happy without me it would make me feel more ok about not seeing them. But when they both cry buckets of tears whenever I would bring them back to their mom's house and say goodbye, then I know they love their daddy.

    I wrote a poem years back before I even had kids, but now I dedicate this poem to my two beautiful children whom I miss greatly.

    There are no words, there is no rhyme
    To completely express my love, only time
    I asked god for a love so true
    He held nothing back when he gave me you
    You freed my spirit and now I can soar
    Our future together is worth fighting for
    Many times I find myself on bended knee
    Praying that you will never be taken from me
    For all my blessings large and small
    You are the one that surpasses them all
    If you could feel what I see in you
    You would find a treasure so precious and true
    Of all gods creations from the heavens to the sea
    You are the one that is most precious to me
    My joy is full when I hold you in a warm embrace
    And it often overflows streaming down my face
    So I will be patient and wait for the day
    When we will be forever this way
     
  16. macewan

    macewan Newbie

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    What state?
     
  17. StarBeltMarketer

    StarBeltMarketer Junior Member

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    I live in Utah
     
  18. ec0sse

    ec0sse Newbie

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    Best advice I can give is never give up!!
    The same thing happened to me three years ago. My ex stopped me seeing my boys in fact she moved them to different country within the UK which meant that I had to travel 600 miles round trip to court each time there was a hearing. She told the court that the boys were afraid to see me but knowing this to be a lie I persisted.

    The ending to this is that 3 weeks ago I got full custody of my oldest son (now aged 11) and the case continues with my younger son. Things are a little more difficult with him because my ex actually told them I was going to kill them so that they would not want to see me. I will continue using the law until I get my youngest son back with me which is why I say never ever give up on your children, they are your life.
     
  19. Codythebest

    Codythebest Senior Member

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    But you didn't tell what you did to her...
     
  20. xplicit

    xplicit BANNED BANNED

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    Well I know all about the ex wife not letting you see the kids, But Seriously? You made a post on a forum about it? Why not stop posting on a forum and start calling the state, child services, ect..ect.. There are tons of places that are willing to help even if you dont have a dime, But you have to take the step into going and finding it.

    I feel for any man that has to go through this, but on the other hand I think you havent tried all the resources you have available. Start looking and quit posting.
     
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